   Back then, I thought Richard was annoying because he gave me too much attention and said he loved me too much. Sounds weird and backwards because shouldn't someone want love and attention in a relationship?Obviously the answer is yes... but that love usually grows over a period of months and years. In this case, Richard and I had only been dating for two weeks... and the "I love you"s started almost immediately. Even though I never said it and I'm not sure I even actually realized it, I think the real problem was that we just didn't have anything in common. Or rather, that we didn't even know if we had anything in common because we never took the time to find out! One day we were classmates, the next day we were going out and saying "I love you." We didn't know any better. We just thought that's what people in relationships do. Any time we talked or wrote notes to each other... it was nothing of substance. "What's your cat's name?" "What's your favorite radio station?" Let's be honest, we didn't even spend that much time together. I don't think we talked on the phone much and when we saw each other in school, it was during class, so we didn't really hang out. We quickly passed notes in the hallway and that was about the extent of our communication.I think what I was realizing, but didn't know I was realizing, was that there was no way we could actually love each other and the whole thing just felt like an act. I was too immature to confront it... so instead I just complained about it and called him annoying. Let's see how much longer this lasts...
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“2-4-97. Dear Diary, Joanne told me that her brother is always talking about me. She says he’s obsessing over me. Before SWEP, Doug & I were standing outside the door. We were reading my note from Richard. Because we were both looking at it, we were standing shoulder to shoulder. Then after SWEP we were walking together to our next class. Again shoulder to shoulder! (Sorry Richard) We’re just friends. But like I’ve said before, I can very well see me & Doug going out in a few years. In Science I asked Craig if I could wear his hat (it was a Cat in the Hat type hat, it was Hat Day). He did that kind of moan that he did when I asked him out at one of the dances. I begged. And he let me! He let me wear it all through Math too! We’re friends. Back to the subject of Richard. Here’s the notes highlights: (Monica has this book & in it, it has a part titled ‘Stereotypes for Common Names.’ My name wasn’t in it. But Richard’s was. His name is stereotyped as ‘very good looking.’ I told him that.) A whole paragraph from his note was: About that stereotyped names thing. I think your name should be in that section of the book. And stereotyped as ‘Very beautiful & #1 on any Good Looking System that anyone made up.’ Because you are beautiful and very good looking. He also wrote Love you very MUCH!! Excuse me but he’s getting a little to into it. He’s really pissing me off! Why does he have to say he loves me every day? I don’t understand! I wish he could just write normal notes! HELP ME! -Krista I think I love Richard”
  
There are a couple ways one may interpret this situation:
1. The Mature and Rational Way - Giving Kara the Benefit of the Doubt
Kara used to date Mike. Even though Kara doesn't like Mike anymore, she is driven to tears after finding out that a good friend (Jaime) betrayed her and asked out her ex-boyfriend. Jaime should have known he was off-limits. 2. The Immature Middle School Way - What Really Happened
Kara used to date Mike. But Kara doesn't like Mike anymore, or so she says. Jaime and Mike are going out. But Jaime also likes Mark and Richard, so what's the point? Everyone likes everyone but somehow no one ever gets what they want. Everyone cries. Welcome to Middle School.
Also, before I go, I'd like to explore the etymology of "butt munch". Google, don't let me down now.
Unfortunately, I didn't come back with much. I'm sure most of us can already trace our first memory of "butt munch" back to Beavis and Butthead. Aaaand that's about as far as I got. But I did find this interesting interview with Mike Judge (the Creator of B&B) in which Judge discusses MTV's censorship of the show:
"For example butt-munch -- which they say a lot: originally in junior high people used to call each other ass-munch. So we put ass-munch in a script but the MTV standards department said no. We changed it to butt-munch and said that for about a year. Then I forgot they said no to ass-munch and I put it in there. By then they were so used to butt-munch that they didn't even notice ass-munch." Probably the most comprehensive definition I found is courtesy of ChaCha:
A butt munch (noun) is defined as 1. An annoying person that you would like to shut up. 2. A bothersome sibling. 3. A friend who is being a jackass. It is also a stupid or idiotic person, or a person that munches on a butt. A person. That munches. On a butt. Somehow in the past 14 years I never spent enough time thinking about "butt munch" to realize the literal, obvious meaning of the phrase. I love you, Internet.
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“2-3-97. Dear Diary, Today Richard gave me a note (like usual). Highlights: He wrote: I’ve been thinking of you a lot! At the end of his dream we were going back out. He wrote on the note: I love you! Luv ya! And XXX OOO. His friend Pete wrote on it: Richard loves Krista. That is really weird because the note I wrote him I wrote these things: I’m just thinking about you, I’ve been doing that a lot lately. I told him that Joanne told me about his dream. I wrote, ‘Luv ya’ on it. Those things are practically the same! Joanne told told me that Anthony likes me! She told me that Anthony is always saying, ‘I have to call Krista! I have to call Kasey! I have to talk to Krista! I have to talk to Kasey!’ Joanne told me he’s obsessing over us! If I wasn’t going out with Richard, I’d probably want to go out with Anthony. Jaime might dump Mike. Because Kara’s mad at her. Kara wasn’t mad at Jaime for going out with Mike until she found out that she asked him out. Kara even said she doesn’t like Mike. But apparently she does. Kara said she was crying in chorus. Like we give a damn! We don’t care about her butt munching hell of a life! She is such a bitch! She is such a freaking liar! I really hate her! I don’t know what Jaime should do. Actually I think she should ignore stupid Kara & go on with her life. She should tell Kara that no matter how long Kara cries & no matter how long she complains she won’t dump Mike. She should just blow Kara off. Who cares about her? Jaime told me that she kinda likes Mark again. She said that she kinda likes Richard too! -Krista”
   I already addressed the scandalousness of "Nobody". But in case you've forgotten and because the chorus the girl sings is slightly different than the chorus Keith sings that I posted before... here are some of the lyrics I sang (assuming I actually knew the lyrics):And who can love you like me
Who can sex you like me
Who can lay your body down
Nobody, baby
And who can treat you like me
Who can give you what you need
And who can do you all night long
Nobody, baby
I think the weirdest part of all this is that Chris and I were singing this sexy song in his mother's car WHILE HIS MOTHER WAS DRIVING. I made it clear in the diary entry that it was not funny at the time... we weren't joking around like "haha it's so funny we're singing this totally inappropriate song"... we were serious. I obviously didn't have a problem with it then but ew ew EW it is creeping me out now just thinking about it. I'm so embarassed.
Wait wait... possibly weirder is that we were two hormone-filled teenagers casually singing a song about sex on the way home from RELIGIOUS ED. ---
“2-2-97. Dear Diary, Nothing much happened today, really. I forgot to tell you, Richard dropped out of the play! He said something else he was doing was conflicting with practices. Anthony told me that Richard has an electric guitar! Cool! Today I carpooled with Chris J to & from CCD. On the way there, like usual we were both singing to the songs. But on the way home ‘Nobody’ by Keith Sweat came on. It was so funny because he sang all of the male parts of the song & I sang the female! It was so funny (but it wasn’t funny then). Then when I was getting out of the car to go inside my house afterwards, Chris said, ‘See ya!’! That’s funny because that’s what Richard usually says to me. And see ya is short for see ya later! When we were walking to the car, we were pretty close together. People who saw us probably thought 1 of 2 things. They either thought, ‘They’re brother & sister’ or they thought, ‘They’re going out!’ Kasey told me that I should go out with him. I would but I don’t think he’d go out with me! He’s kinda cute. Mom & Kasey & Monica all say that Doug & I would make a good couple. Monica keeps saying, ‘I think you & Doug would make the best & cutest couple!’ I’m sorry to say that buy I agree. I mean put our pictures side by side and it just looks ‘right.’ I don’t like him, at all. But, somewhere down the line, in a few years, I can very well see us going out. But for now, I’m not looking forward to it! -Krista I LOVE RICHARD!”
Holy crap... how has it been EIGHT months since the last time I posted?!? I am so sorry for falling off the face of the earth! Hope you weren't worried about me. :P Things just got really crazy last year planning a wedding, getting married (spoiler alert: not to a middle school crush), honeymooning, and enjoying life as a Mrs! But I'm finally back!    HA. The highlight of the first note from Richard was that he had a dream I dumped him. Even though I enjoyed being told he loved me, his dream almost came true that day. We already know he was walking a fine line between being cute affectionate and crazy-annoying over-affectionate. But it wasn't fair to him because he didn't know that. How do you tell someone, "I know you're my boyfriend, but can you stop saying 'hi' to me in the hall and writing me notes with hearts all over it? It's annoying"?
I went with my family to the Pinewood Derby at Grandview Elementary to watch my brother compete (?). You know, whatever you call it when you have a car in the race. Clearly I don't remember... I was talking to Anthony and making phone calls on the pay phone in the hallway most of the time.
That's right, kids, PAY phone. No cell. No texting. No Facebook. Real quarters in a real pay phone. And Richard was on his house phone. It may have even had a cord. And it's possible his mom answered and we had to awkwardly ask to speak to him. Today's youngins will never appreciate what we went though.
Okay, one more thing. I don't understand why I suddenly hated Mike. Earlier that school year, I had a crush on him and even when I look back on it now, I don't remember ever being on bad terms with him. Mike and I were always pretty good friends all throughout school. Hm. Maybe I was just jealous? Who knows.---
“1-31-97. Dear Diary, Today Richard gave me a note (Duh!). Highlights: he had a dream that I dumped him! He’s putting a happy ad on announcements for me! He’s going to put it on Monday. I guessed that it was going to say, ‘Will you be my Valentine?’ Jaime told me I was right. At the bottom he wrote, ‘I love you!’ In another note he gave me today here are the highlights: All that is important really is that it said I love you. When I got home from school I called Jaime. I was so totally sick of Richard that it wasn’t funny. I was very close to dumping him. But now I don’t think I want to. I went to the Boyscouts Pinewood Derby thing. There was Anthony. I spent most of my time flirting with Anthony & his friend Cameron. Anthony is really nice. I kinda like him, but not very much. He’s kinda cute too. He has a nice smile. He acts like he likes me, I don’t know. I asked Anthony what Richard says about me. He wouldn’t tell me but he says its very good. Anthony called Richard from Grandview & talked to him for awhile. Then he gave the phone to me. So Richard & I talked about nothing much for awhile. Anthony & I are good friends now, I think. I hope he thinks of me as a friend. -Krista P.S. Jaime’s going out with Mike! That’s sick! I hate Mike!”
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