I'm going to LOVE being a teenager

So many great things in this entry!

First of all, I was happy and relieved to learn the "real" reason Craig broke up with me. Unfortunately, I think I interpreted it a *little* wrong. Apparently he didn't necessarily break up with me because he didn't like me... that much IS true. However, I thought he broke up with me because he could never see me outside of school. Sounds innocent enough. After all, he did say, "I couldn't see her out of school ever and that's why I dumped her." So literally, yes, it does sound that way. However, I didn't take what Mark asked into consideration. "How far did you get with Krista?" Craig's answer? "Nowhere [...], that's why I dumped her." Oops. So in fact, he actually dumped me because we could never make out or do whatever else unsupervised 13-year-olds do. Not so reassuring now, huh? Poor little naive me.

And while I didn't read far enough into Craig's answer to Mark's question, I read WAY too far into Richard's "lights are out" comment. Seriously unnecessary.

The most exciting thing of my LIFETIME was walking between two boys. Need I remind you, I didn't even have to DO anything to get the attention! And how cocky I was about it! When I read the first, "I was so cool!", I was sure I missed a letter and meant to write, "IT was so cool!" But then two sentences later, I wrote, "I was so awesome!" What are the chances I wrote it wrong twice? Oh sigh. I really have nothing else to say on the matter.

All this amazing excitement led me to conclude I was GOING TO LOVE BEING A TEENAGER! So full of hope. So wrong.

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“2-14-97. Dear Diary, I just remembered this: one day in Math (not too long ago) Mark was talking to Craig. Mark said, ‘Craig how far did you get with Krista?’ He said, ‘Nowhere. I couldn’t see her out of school ever & that’s why I dumped her.’ I felt a whole lot better about things! I thought he dumped me because he didn’t like me anymore! He’s a butt, though! On the note Richard wrote me on Tuesday the last note he’s written so far. It says, ‘lights are out!’ I had no clue to what he meant by that & still don’t. Jaime thinks that his mom came in & said, ‘Richard, hunny, it’s time for bed!’ & turned out the lights. But Monica thought that maybe he meant that the relationship is over! I sure hope that’s not what he meant because I love him! A lot! I don’t think that’s what he meant because he wrote also: P.S. WBS, I luv ya! And a heart. Plus, I’m pretty sure he still loves me! I HOPE HE CAN GO TO THE DANCE! On the way out of school yesterday Doug walked up & said something to Richard (I forget what). But then instead of walking next to Richard, he walked next to me! So I was walking in between 2 boys, one I like now & one I used to like! You should have seen it! I was so cool! I mean, attention from 2 boys when I didn’t even do anything! I was so awesome! I think I’m going to love being a teenager! -Krista AKA Sabrina.”

Fashion Offenses

I was a terrible person. I can't believe we ganged up on Craig for only having five shirts and one pair of shoes. That's really sad! I still feel bad about it. Well, look on the bright side... at least he had one shirt for every day? I shouldn't have been one to talk though, I was guilty of plenty of fashion offenses in middle school too.

Here are some I can think of right now (1 for every shirt Craig owned)...

1. In 6th grade, I only had one pair of jeans which were too short on me because I was going through a growth spurt. It was the first time I had ever heard anyone ask, "You waitin' for a flood??"
2. In 7th grade, I reeked of gasoline for a few months because I stepped in a puddle at the gas station wearing my only pair of brown shoes.
3. Inside-out sweatshirts.
4. Scrunchies on my wrist all day, coordinated with my outfit, but never intended to be worn in my hair because I wasn't good at putting my hair in a ponytail. Also, scrunchies period.
   
5. Brassy orange hair from learning the hard way that using Sun-In on dark brown hair does not make it beautiful beach blonde.

There's plenty more... but that's enough for now. Goodnight!

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“2-5-97. Dear Diary, Today I was walking into school alone & Craig walked up beside me! He started a conversation! WOW! Then in homeroom Jaime started teasing Craig about how he wears the same shirts every day (Jaime & I started doing that awhile ago. He only has 2 brown, a Metallica, a gray one, & a denim one). So then I started teasing him too & then Mark got into it. Mark started saying that he wears the same shoes every day. Then Craig looked like he could cry! I felt so bad! I think we hurt his feelings! I’ll never tease him about that again! Then in Science I got a question on a work sheet a long time ago & he was stuck on it. I told him the answer & he admitted I was right. Then I said, ‘Craig, say I’m smart. Make me feel good!” Then he said, ‘Krista, you’re the smartest person I know. You are so smart! I am so stupid!’ I never thought I’d get that out of him! Today Richard gave me a note! I can’t write the highlights in here because I need to do my homework! Krista Hi! It’s the same day as last, just later. I felt I needed to add something. Okay, I’m not sure what I should do about Richard. When I’m not around him, I’m crazy about him! I just love him! But when I’m next to him talking or something I usually find him really annoying & I hate it! I don’t think I’m gonna dump him because I know I still like him a lot- when I’m not around him! What do I do? HELP ME! I love Richard! For now…”

I Want to Vacuum

Hi friends! Oh my gosh I am so sorry it's been almost a whole MONTH since I last posted! I was on vacation in St. Maarten with my Mom, sister, and sister-in-law during the second week of March and I spent the week before that preparing and packing and the week after that recovering (although I still haven't finished unpacking). Hm.

Well anyhow, at least I'm coming back with a good entry!!

In this entry, I reveal that one of the reasons I broke up with Richard is because he used to say "hi" to me too often in the hallways at school. And my desired behavior for him would have been what exactly? If he ignored me, would I have been okay with that? Clearly I wasn't quite sure what I expected of a boyfriend. I wanted a boyfriend who liked me, but didn't like me TOO much.

Oh man... "Elephant Shoe" and "I Want to Vacuum" really take me back to the good ol' days. Do you guys remember those things? Do you remember any others or were those the only ones? "Olive Juice" had the same effect as "Elephant Shoe"... but that's all I've got.

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“1-9-97. Dear Yraid, Hi! Today was good, I guess. Why do I even like Richard?? He’s not popular (he sits with Michael at lunch) & he’s really dumb. How can I like him? Jaime thinks I should go out with him no matter how popular he is. Jaime thinks that Doug & Mark like me. She doesn’t think Doug likes her! She also pointed out that all the geeks like me! Uggh! Is she right? She also thinks that Mike likes me. She things that everyone likes me. I walked with Doug to lunch today. Again Jaime & Lianna walked in front of us. Now that’s what I call friends, huh? Doug & I are like brother & sister. We tease, we annoy, we argue, but we’re still connected & deep down (way down) there’s somewhere a feeling of love and trust. Also at lunch Travis called me from his table. He said something about my hair (I had it in a whole bunch of braids before lunch). His whole table (including Jim, Ray, & Steve) were smiling at me. Ray has never smiled at me since 5th grade. It was nice to see an old familiar face again. Ray’s somewhat cute, but not quite. I mean, I’d really like him if I knew him better. In the halls Richard always smiles at me! Cheese Luweez! That’s what my problem was when we were going out. During school I saw too much of him, he’d always say hi! Ugh. Jaime asked Richard if he’s going to the dance. He doesn’t know yet. Hopefully he is! Jaime & Lianna are sleeping over on the night of the dance. I’m gonna call Doug tomorrow. Have you ever noticed that when I talk about Doug it’s usually poetic? Strange. Sabrina. RKS. I need a new diary soon!! Mouth “Elephant Shoe” it looks like you’re saying I love you. Mouth “I want to vacuum” it looks like you’re saying I want to F_C_ you. Fill in the blanks.”

Strategy

Middle school relationships were so volatile that my strategy to secure a boyfriend for the dance was to wait until the day before or the day of the dance to ask someone out... that way they wouldn't have a chance to dump me before the night of romance. And I guess I wouldn't have a chance to lose interest either. So even though I liked Richard again and knew that he'd go back out with me (because someone prank called him-- how awful-- that poor kid-- as if he hadn't been through enough with the whole "Roses Are Red" breakup poem), I decided it'd be better to wait over two weeks before asking him back out. A lot could happen in two weeks! Richard could get another girlfriend. I could end up finding a new crush. Mark and Jenni could break up. Sounds like a risky strategy...

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“1-2-94. Dear Yriad, Oh jeez. Kay. Well, ya see! Um! I like Richard again! Moe told me that at Joanne’s party, Janice Hall called Richard & said she was me. She asked Richard if he’d go back out with me. He said yes! Well, finally he found out it was a joke. But now I know that he’d say yes if I really did ask him back out again! I like him- & Mark. In SWEP I was looking for my folder & Mark came up & started talking to me. He was also looking through the folders. We were the only ones up there & we were talking! Then I found my folder. I said, “Oh I found mine but I couldn’t find yours.” He said, “Oh, I wasn’t looking for mine. It’s at my seat.” Wow! I’m positive that Richard still likes me. Jaime thinks Mark likes me. I don’t know. I think Ryan still likes me. Because I want to be going out with someone at the dance on the 17th, here’s my plan. Wait until the day before or the day of the dance to ask Richard out. If Mark & Jenni break up before that, I might possibly ask Mark out beforehand. That way I’m guaranteed to have a boyfriend for the dance- unless Richard gets a girlfriend. –Krista”

Mark

What?! Where the heck did MARK come from?

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"1-1-97. Dear Yraid, Happy New Year! I've been having numerous (& I mean numerous) dreams about Mark. He's really cute. Jaime thinks he'll go out with me. I'm not so sure. -Krista I LUV MARK!"