Boys Are Dogs

Man I really beat myself up over the state of Doug and Jaime's relationship. It seemed like everyone in 7th grade liked someone other than their current boyfriend or girlfriend after a few days of dating. As we've found out in previous entries, people would break up with girlfriend A in order to immediately start dating girlfriend B the next day... and this would repeat. So it should have come as no surprise that Doug liked someone else. That someone else happened to be Doug's ex-girlfriend from 6th grade, Rachel. So I suppose it's important to note that the middle school rule of revolving door dating wasn't driven necessarily by a desire for variety ("collect 'em all" girlfriends), but more so by, um, indecision? A chance to just F with girls' minds? I honestly have no clue.

But it's not that I just don't understand middle school boys. Hell, I don't really understand middle school girls either. And I certainly don't understand why I felt Doug's infidelity (if you can even call it that) warranted a giant "IT'S ALL MY FAULT!" taking up the space of 10 notebook lines.

I wonder if I was being over-dramatic to try to cover up the fact that maybe I was actually kind of happy that Doug and Jaime were possibly going to break up because I secretly still liked Doug and was jealous that he was dating my best friend. Also, maybe I was extra torn up about it because Doug STILL didn't like me. And perhaps I was upset too because I felt like even if Doug and I did date one day, he could do the same thing to me too.

I honestly have no clue and don't remember the situation very well myself. Hm.

P.S. See that little pink dude in the bottom right-hand corner of the page? You'll see him on every other page from here until the end of the diary. I drew him as one of those things that when you flip though the pages, he animates! Clever.

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“1-10-97. Dear Yraid, I am so pissed at Doug. I called him today for a conversation. Well, he was playing “I’ll Make Love To You” in the background. He was also making a rocket & gluing his fingers to a plastic bag. He said he kinda likes Rachel! Of all people! Plus he’s going out with Jaime. I started crying when I got off the phone. I’m crying now. I guess it’s because I’ve known & trusted Doug for such a long time & now he’s betrayed one of my 2 best friends. I called Jaime. We were both crying. I feel so bad for her. I just wanted to hug her. This is going to be the worst weekend for both of us! WHY? Boys are dogs. I hate Doug! I’ve trusted him. I trusted him with a very good friend. He’s broken her heart. I am very disappointed in him. It’s all my fault. If I wouldn’t have hooked them up then this would never had happened! IT’S ALL MY FAULT! I’m so sorry Jaime. You should hate me now. Please don’t hate me! I’m so sorry. I seem to do everything wrong. I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault. –Krista”