I have never heard someone talk so much shit on the person they love. I was so conflicted. I liked Richard. I wanted to like Richard. I wanted to dance and date and hold hands with Richard. But like it or not, middle school life was governed by popularity... and that's what held me back. You can tell that I wanted to date Richard and wanted to tell anyone who questioned it, "Screw popularity!" I wanted to show them the funny and smart and cute Richard I wrote about in my diary-- when I wasn't being influenced by peer pressure to rank his popularity level (apparently zero).I feel like we've been over this before, but I bet if you had asked anyone else in the school, they would have ranked mine and Richard's popularity the same. I think I realized that but knew that dating Richard wasn't going to help my rank at all. And that's why I was frustrated by my obvious attraction to him.
Well, I'm rooting that attraction wins! Screw popularity!
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“1-11-97. Dear Yraid, Hi! I talked to Jaime today. She’s not worried about Doug liking Rachel. She knows Rachel will never go back out with him. Actually, I’m not so sure about that. Rachel has mixed feelings about Doug. I think. Jaime told me that Melissa asked Richard if he was going to the dance many times. Jaime said that Melissa said that Richard said that he usually doesn’t go to dances. But she said that he said something like, he’d only go if he was going to get to dance with me. I don’t think Jaime’s lying. I hope he goes! I really really like him. But he’s such a geek, dork, moron. Even though I know he’s a dork & he has dorky friends, some really weird force is making me like him. It’s really strange. I really love him & then I think of his popularity rank (zero). But still through it all, that force is making me like him. Ryan still likes me (I think). Jaime made a good point, all the guys who like me are dorks! Doug was making fun of me (he’s a loser). He was saying how I could only get 2 boyfriends, Craig & Richard. Then he made a good point: Craig’s gone out with just about everybody & Richard’s gone out with just about nobody. WHAT DO I DO? –Krista”
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2 comments:
Hahaha a popularity rating of zero! yes that mustve been social suicide going out with a dork of that magnitude krista.
I'm confused why if he was such a loser why your friends even helped you out with him and not just make fun of him? Or maybe I'm just thinking of guy world and not girl mentality...
I guess I had really good friends who weren't as shallow as I was at the time! I think it also helped that my best friend at the time, Jaime, had JUST transferred from parochial school so she had no concept of popularity and no preconceived judgments of the kids in our middle school. Good point!
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