It's more fun NOT going out with who you like

Did you understand what I meant or do you still feel ashamed? haha.

So I had just got done saying that it's more fun NOT going out with the person you like and then I made a wish on my birthday candles that Craig would go back out with me. To answer my own question from the entry... Yes, it is surprising because it makes no sense.

Let's hope the next entry is happier... this is getting depressing.

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“12-1-96 Dear Yraid, Hello! Today was my family birthday party. I got a lot of nice stuff. I love everything I got. I’m liking Craig more & more every day now. There’s one thing that confuses me: It’s funny. I can’t really put it into words. Well it’s like when you’re going out with who you like it’s like you’ve got it. But then when you’re not going out with who you like it’s a whole different feeling. You probably don’t’ understand but in a sense, it’s more fun not going out with who you like. Are you lost? Cause if you are, don’t feel ashamed. What I just said was very hard for me to put into words and when I did, it didn’t come out right. When I hear someone say the name ‘Craig’, I suddenly become more alert. You might not believe this- but it’s true: When I made a wish before I blew out my candles tonite, I wished that Craig would go back out with me. Is that surprising or what? Am I obsessing? I don’t’ think so. But geez, I love everything about him- his eyes, his smile, his laugh, his voice, even the way he smells! My gosh! I really do like him. I miss him and want him back. Well, I must go cry myself to sleep like I do every night. Batman.”