B.O.

I'm back!! I'm so sorry I abandoned you there for FIVE months but-- whoops-- life got busy again. This time, I bought a house. And houses can be total time-sucks. Very rewarding... but veritable vortexes of time and money. Wheee!

Anyhow, enough of my boring adult life... back to juicy middle school drama!

Oh the joys of puberty. I still remember my first "Teen Spirit".

Poor Richard. It needed to be his mom's responsibility to tell him to use deodorant... not his girlfriend's! Nooo, his girlfriend's responsibility was to make fun of him behind is back and write funny pop songs on the matter.

Oh yes, this was during the phase of my adolescence where I wrote songs. I didn't actually compose music... I just wrote down lyrics and kept the melodies inside my head. If all the songs I wrote in middle school were released on the radio today, "B.O." would definitely be the one to top the charts as a #1 hit single.

I scoured my old cassette tapes hoping to find a recorded version of this song but came up empty-handed. For now, you'll just have to imagine the awesomeness until someone begs or bribes me enough to record it fresh. Sometimes I still sing it around the house to this day... AND... even my HUSBAND has been found humming it after it's gotten stuck in his head.

Before you read the infectious lyrics, I should point out that there are some parts written in black, others in blue, and some kind of in both colors. That's because the song is intended to be sung by two people so the colors represent the two parts. AND the parts that are sung together are sung in harmony. This is very sophisticated music.

Here is my masterpiece!!

Speechless? I thought so.

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“2-27-97. Dear Diary, Richard is still kinda annoying. I’m not mad about the I LOVE U’s all over anything anymore but I am mad about his stench! Geez! He smells like a whole football team after playing a 5 hour long game! He smells so darn bad. Can’t he use deoderant? IT’S CALLED B.O. DEAR! UGH! -Krista AKA The Girlfriend of one heck of a smell boy! & that isn’t a good thing!"
"Two quiet lovers / Sitting together / Arms around each other / Loving one another. / The boy smells flowers & perfume- what a dream. / The girl smells B.O.! / (CHORUS) Boy you've got stench, stench, stench / Boy you smell really bad / Boy you've got stench, stench, stench / Have you been sittin on a bench / Boy you reek, reek, reek / Boy you smell really bad / Boy you reek, reek, reek / Boy all through the week. / The boy looks deep into her eyes / The girl remembers all her lies / Cuz he's got B.O.! / (CHORUS) / The boy leans over to be kissed / The girl thinks of what she missed / Cuz he's got B.O.! / (CHORUS) / The girl stands up & runs away / The boy hopes maybe another day / (Spoken) Too bad there won't be / Cuz he's got B.O.! / (CHORUS) / Look at those underarms / smelly underarms / look at those underarms / smelly underarms / look at those underarms / smelly underarms / Yea!"