Your Mom

I'm seriously having a problem understanding the adolescent mind. You'd think after reading all these diary entries, I'd be better able to appreciate the emotions and predict the actions. Nope. Apparently when it comes to girls in early adolescence, there is no understanding... there is no predicting.

Wasn't I JUST in love with Richard? Just a week earlier I was saying how cute and sweet he was. Clearly ripping him to pieces as I did in the past couple diary entries was some sort of weird defense mechanism. Not sure what I was defending myself against... but I know I didn't really feel that way.

Other things to address:
1. "Un-Rogaine"... Richard's thick hair became the object of my aggression. Why???

2. "Crimeny!"... Where the heck did this word come from? Or rather, where did it go? I haven't heard it in ages. TO THE GOOGLE! First off, I guess it's more commonly spelled "criminy". Weird. I don't like the way that looks. Secondly, YES! I love when researching old diary entries leads me to uncover other relics of the time! Turns out "criminy" was often said by Helga on the Nickelodeon cartoon Hey Arnold! Hey Arnold first aired in October of 1996, so that is without a doubt where I picked it up. Mystery solved.

3. "Your Mom"... What a great all-purpose insult this was for awhile there. I still hear it jokingly from time to time but man was it rampant in middle school. Yo Momma jokes were HILARIOUS back then. Most of the ones we used to laugh at are super-lame ("Your momma's so fat when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house"), but if you haven't heard Yo Momma jokes in a long time, I encourage you to google it because there are a ton of smart and funny ones I had never heard. Yes, lots are still lame... but I was happy to come across these...

Harry Potter:
"Your mama's so fat, the Sorting Hat sorted her into the House of Pancakes."

Nerdy:
"Select * FROM Table.YoMamma
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Server Timed Out"

Literature (from Act I Scene 1 of Timon of Athens):
Painter: "Y'are a dog."
Apemantus: "Thy mother's of my generation. What's she, if I be a dog?"

I bet you didn't know Shakespeare "invented" the Yo Momma joke!

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“3-4-97. Dear Diary, I did dump Richard! I’m so happy! I feel so free. I feel like a new person! I love it! Ahh! Richard still likes me, a lot. He wrote me a note saying that we can still be friends & he’s not mad at me. At the bottom of the note, it said- I love you. I feel so bad. But I don’t care, I’m NOT asking him back out- EVER! Ugh! He is so ugly. Like I’ve said before- he needs un-Rogaine. I wonder who I’ll like next. Hmm. Jaime & Kara say that Rob & I should go out. You think? Nah. It would never happen. In SWEP, the strangest thing happened. I was talking to Doug. Suddenly he stepped forward so we were almost touching. He was looking down at me & I was looking up at him. My God! It looked like he was about to kiss me! Crimeny! You don’t know how close we were! I’ve never stood by him that close face to face. Anyhow, we stood there for awhile just looking at each other & then I said, “I could beat you up!” He said, “Ya sure, your Mom.” And then we both walked off in different directions. Do you think I’ll like Doug again? I don’t know. Mom thinks he’s cute. I didn’t ask her- she told me. I think Doug & I would be better of as just friends. But hey, you never know! -Krista”