Technically it's Monday... and typically Monday means radio show clip day. But two radio show clips in a row would be no fun and I have many reasons for being a horrible blogger. You see... last week was not only crazy at work, but crazy at home too. On Wednesday, my friends Michelle, AJ, and I succeeded at making a mess of my kitchen while failing to cook Duck a l'Orange. On Thursday, my friend Jess from college was in town. And on Friday, I left for a fun and relaxing weekend in Put-in-Bay with Michelle, AJ, and our significant others.
Work this week is sure to be even more hectic, but someone I know you're familiar with from this blog is staying with me this week: Lianna, my best friend since kindergarten. :) Yay!
So enough boring shit and excuses. Onto the entry...    Bra snapping. What in the world? How long was this a cool thing to do... a couple months? Surely it didn't continue into high school. And definitely not into adulthood. Can you imagine sitting at your desk at the office today while a coworker tip-toes up behind you and snaps your bra before running away, giggling? I wonder why they didn't address that scenario in the sexual harassment video HR made us watch last month. And it's not like it'd only be weird in the workplace. Say you were hanging out at the bar nowadays and instead of accidentally-on-purpose brushing up against you or buying you a drink... a random guy just walks up, sticks a finger under your bra strap, and snaps it. Nice to meet you too...
I suppose back in the day, girl-on-girl bra snapping was just another way to get attention from boys. A way to show them, "Hey look at us, we wear bras now." Sounds like it worked.
LOL check out this Yahoo question I found:
"Does getting your bra strap snap hurt more than getin kicked in the balls?
My girl friend said it dose and what part is the part that gets snaped the parts on the shoulders or on the back?" Hahahahaha that is cracking me up. Yup, that's about how naive we were at the time too.
Here's the third installment (out of four) of the trip to the museum...Yes, my co-host Eddie and the curator fell through the floor boards of the museum. And I had to rescue them. With a rope.
Where the hell was this museum that it was built over a hole too deep to climb out of? And furthermore, could I really physically rescue someone with just a rope... or is that just something I picked up from cartoons?
Finally, I love how the curator described my co-host as "majorly muscular". In all the words in my current vocabulary, I would never think of that combination of words to describe a guy today.
Ohhh to have the imagination of a child again!
I know that Mondays are usually Radio Show Clip days, but my wonderful mother's website is down at the moment and since she hosts my clips, I can't give you a new clip today. Sorry. Just let the suspense build for the next installment of the museum trip!
In the meantime, my crush on Kevin grows... Ugh, I was SO annoying. Pretty much the worst thing that could have happened to any boy at my middle school in the late 90's was to end up being the unfortunate object of my affection.
  In most diary entries from 7th grade, there's usually at least one thing that makes me cringe. And I don't mean content... I mean grammar, punctuation, spelling, etc. This entry takes the cake. Two cringes in one sentence.
Cringe #1: "Him and I were at our lockers"
Cringe #2: "said to no one impirticular"
Nonononono! He, not him. Eek.
I guess it's kind of cute that I thought "in particular" was one word spelled "impirticular", but I feel like by 7th grade you should know that phrase. Nowadays, I'm a grammar/punctuation/spelling snob, so maybe I'm being too hard on my 7th grade self. Actually, I just did a Google search for "impirticular" and Google says: "Did you mean: imparticular". And get this... even though there are only 10 search results for "impirticular", there are 19,000 results for "imparticular". I can't believe there are that many idiots out there (most of which are probably adults too!).
Oh crap. Guess what I just realized? Pretty soon after I post this, this blog entry is going to be the 11th search result for "impirticular" and the 19,000-somethingth result for "imparticular". Nooooooo! I want to be part of the solution- not part of the problem!
P.S. Okay, now that you know I'm a grammar/punctuation/spelling snob, don't go and get all critical of my blog posts on me. I know there have been multiple times that I've ended a sentence with a preposition or written a split infinitive or used incorrect subject-verb agreement or had too many passive sentences or overused ellipses. Every time I do one of these things, please understand, I do cringe and consider changing it. Sometimes I do change it, but other times I just think "F it". I never intended for this blog to be an example of my best writing. So don't judge. Trust me, if you're bothered by something I've written incorrectly, it's probably bothering me just as much if not more. So I apologize. But, whatever... F it. :P
Here's part two of the trip to the museum...I don't mean to give anything away, but that may or may not have been *forshadowing* at the end of the clip. Dun dun dun!!
 Not much to comment about on this entry... just wanted to post it to let you know that Craig's 19-day romance with Teri was over and he was officially back on the market!
  Oh no. Had it really come to the point where I was... dare I say... desperate? I was considering asking Justin out even though I didn't like him, but because I was pretty sure he'd say yes. But hey, at least I was aware of and acknowledged the fact that there was something wrong with that logic!
WARNING: Be prepared for excessive swearing in the following entry...    Ah, more evidence of how young and naive I was. Not only did I not know how to spell the word 'horny', I also had no clue what it meant. Did you catch when I described Bryce's laugh as "hard, horney, and fake"? I definitely didn't know what the hell I was saying. I really wonder what I thought 'horny' meant at the time. I mean, I can't even use context clues from that sentence to try to figure out what I may have thought it meant. Ugh. I'm sure I was probably using that word wrong all over the place. Awkward. It's not exactly a word you'd want to randomly slip into casual conversation without knowing the definition. Oh crap. What if I unknowingly used it in school assignments? "Today in English class, we read 'The Call of the Wild'. Also, I was really horney." Well, I guess if that would have happened, my teacher would have confronted me or sent a note home or something.
Moving onto... Bryce. She caused a lot of anger in my group of friends for some reason. Remember my friend Lianna who never swore and got mad at anyone who did? Well, the first time Lianna ever swore was because of something Bryce did. I can't remember the exact offense, but it caused Lianna to be so overcome with emotion that she muttered the word "bitch" before she even realized what she was saying. To this day, I think Lianna is still convinced that if it wasn't for Bryce, she would have never sworn ever. Unfortunately, I really don't remember the specifics of the apparent drama Bryce caused in my clique... but as we've learned, it was middle school and everyone caused drama.
Which brings me to my next point: Allison. Why the heck was I so worked up over a stupid bus seat?!?! Was filling half a page with 30 "BITCH!"s really necessary? Sounds like I needed a chill pill.
  Pee-poop? Seriously? Definitely highlights how young I really was at the time. I probably thought I was becoming pretty mature, but clearly, I was a long ways off.
OH MAN! I said I'd kiss Craig?! That's a huge step. Earlier, I commented that if Craig and I dated, I would break up with him if he tried to put the moves on me. But at this point, I was inviting it... somewhat reluctantly... but still! Bring it on!
So my pinky nail and only my pinky nail was super long in seventh grade. It was so long, I used to paint it in a rainbow of stripes. It was totally innocent and pure coincidence that it was my pinky nail that hadn't broken yet and grew so long. Many years later, someone told me that some people grow their pinky nails long to use for snorting coke. A matter of fact, it's even commonly listed as a warning sign that your kid is on drugs. This webpage "How to tell if your teen is using drugs" says:
"Another way to tell, is to look at their fingernails. A long pinky nail is a sure sign of it, most coke addicts have a long pinky nail to take quick snorts of cocaine." Who knew? Not me, obviously. I wonder if my parents or teachers were ever suspicious. Part of me is surprised that no one never questioned my long pinky nail. But most of me isn't. I was a good kid, usually. And I was too innocent and naive to be involved with drugs. Even if someone thought I might be doing drugs, they'd probably reconsider once they heard my vocabulary. "Oh, did I just hear her just use the word "pee-poop"? Yeah, guaranteed she doesn't even know what cocaine is."
Oh man, you are in for a TREAT. I am doing two unheard of things today:
#1 - I'm posting twice in one day
and
#2 - I'm taking some bigger than usual risks by posting some more embarrassing than usual content. Eek.
But I couldn't help myself! I was back home at my parents' house this past weekend and I uncovered some relics that I'm compelled to share.
First of all, remember Doug's score sheet list I mentioned before? In a diary entry from sixth grade, I mentioned that Doug had created a new version but saved it to a 3.5 inch floppy disk that I didn't know how to work. WELL... the original list was created in fifth grade and for some reason, he let me keep it. And HOLY SHIT I FOUND IT. It is absolutely ridiculous and somewhat unacceptable that I still have this in my possession. I mean, I totally feel like one of those crazy pack rat recluses you see on TV whose house is totally filled with clutter and who have to sleep curled up under the kitchen table or something because their bedroom and every other possible square inch of living space is covered in things like stuffed animals and wrapping paper and grade school sports trophies that they've accumulated and grown attached to over the years. But it's not like that. Promise.
Okay, enough rambling excuses. Here's the super-vintage list from circa 1995... If I remember correctly, "D" was Doug, "J" was Joe, and "R" was Ray. That's me with the pathetic 2.7 rating from my big crush Doug. Sad. But you gotta believe I was ecstatic about the 7.5 rating from Joe... even though I was still 5th on his list.
I have no idea why Kara got X's. She might have been new that year, so maybe they didn't feel that they knew her well enough to rate her. Certainly an X is different than the 0.0's that Emily and Jessica got. Ouch! So I guess my 2.7 from Doug could have been worse.
Okay, now for big embarrassment #2. My friend Shea doubted the awfulness of my pre-orthodontia teeth that I mentioned in this entry. Well, I return with proof.
First, check out this stylin' pic from 1992 (end of 2nd grade). Be nice. We're here to look at my former teeth. Not to admire my yellow plastic earrings. Or to look at that weird perm. Or to question those suspender things. Or to discuss whether or not age 8 is too young to begin waxing one's eyebrows. Check out that mean grill!
If insides of mouths creep you out, you should just close your browser right now and scroll down no further. Because, here is an intimate picture of the mess my bottom teeth used to be in prior to braces...
 AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! See, Shea? I wasn't exaggerating!
Okay, that's been enough embarrassment for the day. Goodnight!
Here's my co-host Eddie and I broadcasting *LIVE* from the museum...!I enjoy the touching story the museum manager tells of how the museum was passed down through three generations... before her final comment reveals her true motivation. Nice.
  My goodness was I relentless! Craig refused to dance with me until all my annoying friends begged him to... he flat-out said no when I personally asked him to be my boyfriend... and after all that rejection, I still "loved" him and still wished he'd go out with me? Obviously there are lots of situations in life when tenacity is a great quality to have, but pursuing a middle school crush is not one of them. I mean, really, even if you ended up getting the guy at some point, how could you feel good about it? If he actually liked you, he wouldn't have needed to be threatened/strangled/verbally assaulted/constantly annoyed over a period of weeks before finally giving in (giving up?). What the hell kind of relationship is that? If a guy doesn't respond favorably to your advances from the start, just move on until you find someone who does. haha. No sense wasting your time.
Easy for me to say now... but middle school was slightly more confusing because there were other factors that I think affected boys' decisions... peer pressure, popularity, whether a girl had boobs yet, etc. I'm actually not at all sure about that last one, but I wouldn't be entirely surprised. Thirteen is an awkward age all around.
I guess we'll see what happens from here...
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