Lots of Nonsense & Swearing

WARNING: Be prepared for excessive swearing in the following entry...

Ah, more evidence of how young and naive I was. Not only did I not know how to spell the word 'horny', I also had no clue what it meant. Did you catch when I described Bryce's laugh as "hard, horney, and fake"? I definitely didn't know what the hell I was saying. I really wonder what I thought 'horny' meant at the time. I mean, I can't even use context clues from that sentence to try to figure out what I may have thought it meant. Ugh. I'm sure I was probably using that word wrong all over the place. Awkward. It's not exactly a word you'd want to randomly slip into casual conversation without knowing the definition. Oh crap. What if I unknowingly used it in school assignments? "Today in English class, we read 'The Call of the Wild'. Also, I was really horney." Well, I guess if that would have happened, my teacher would have confronted me or sent a note home or something.

Moving onto... Bryce. She caused a lot of anger in my group of friends for some reason. Remember my friend Lianna who never swore and got mad at anyone who did? Well, the first time Lianna ever swore was because of something Bryce did. I can't remember the exact offense, but it caused Lianna to be so overcome with emotion that she muttered the word "bitch" before she even realized what she was saying. To this day, I think Lianna is still convinced that if it wasn't for Bryce, she would have never sworn ever. Unfortunately, I really don't remember the specifics of the apparent drama Bryce caused in my clique... but as we've learned, it was middle school and everyone caused drama.

Which brings me to my next point: Allison. Why the heck was I so worked up over a stupid bus seat?!?! Was filling half a page with 30 "BITCH!"s really necessary? Sounds like I needed a chill pill.

OMG it's almost 7th grade!!!

Dude. Trust me. I didn't like Doug. Really. I just pulled out my pink and yellow markers for fun and coincidentally happened to have colored over his name and only his name. I was probably going to color everyone else's names too but I forgot, or got busy, or got called down for dinner or something. But yeah, it's not what it looks like. It doesn't mean anything that Doug's name is highlighted and- wait a sec- it also looks like I may have changed to black ink for his name... and it looks bold... but trust me, it's not like I was tracing his name over and over again in cursive while daydreaming about our future wedding or what we'd name our children or anything. Haha... we were just friends. I didn't like Doug like that.

Am I allowed to call BULL SHIT on my former self?

I AM the Grandview Bee

Okay, I admit, I only posted this entry because it has a funny picture. And because of that, I don't really have anything on which to comment. Sorry! Hope you like the drawing!

Prank Calls & 7th Grade Wish List

We obviously had no idea what we were doing in regard to prank calls. I know I had heard of the concept in general but I didn't know much about it. It would be years before I heard of The Jerky Boys, watched Crank Yankers, or played with online celebrity soundboards. So in 1996, our prank calls were super lame. First of all, we only called people we knew. We were too nervous and embarrassed to call strangers. And these were the days before caller ID! Secondly, we didn't say anything funny or outrageous, we basically just pretended we were telemarketers. Not funny. At all.

Oh well.

I enjoy that one of the items on my 7th grade wish list was "good packed lunches". At this age, my parents still packed my lunches. I'm sure I begged for ham sandwiches, Gushers, and Dunkaroos (P.S. whatever happened to Dunkaroos anyhow?) but I didn't get my way all of the time. It's funny to think that at that time my packed lunches were so far out of my control that I had to *wish* for them to be good. In high school, I would have just been like, "Mom, screw this crappy PB&J, I'm going to buy pepperoni balls and an ice cream sandwich for lunch." But in 7th grade I didn't have much of my own money to spend. What my parents packed is what I got.

Also, "NO BAD HAIR DAYS!" Really? Did I even do my hair in middle school? I'm pretty sure I just took a shower the night before and rolled out of bed the next day. Maybe that had something to do with it. Or maybe the issue was my bangs- which were always losing their curl and falling in my face. Or maybe it was that whole Sun-In thing...

Casper

"There's a boy in my house. YES!!!" is a reference to the mid-90's movie Casper. Remember? It starred Christina Ricci and an animated ghost who in the end temporarily became real and danced with Christina. As I remember it, Casper and Christina were just friends when Casper was still a ghost, but when he turned into the dreamy Devon Sawa, just like any other pre-teen girl at the time, she fell in love with him. How depressing though: you fall in love with a dead guy, he comes back to life just long enough for you make out a little, and then he becomes a freaking ghost again. Ugh. Glad I've never run into that problem.

So anyhow, at some point near the beginning of the movie, Christina Ricci and her dad move into a haunted house and Christina chooses Casper's old bedroom as her own. I guess all the old furniture was still there (weird) because when Casper saw Christina in his bedroom, he said, "There's a girl... on my bed... YES!" Kinda naughty for a kids movie, but whatev. So that's what my quote was in reference too.

Also, I gotta point out my usage of "as shole". I wonder how long it will be until the swear words just start flowing freely instead of being cleverly misspelled...

Resolution?

Sounds more like a breakup with a boyfriend, huh? Rachel and I both said we never wanted to see each other again and returned each other's stuff. Reminds me of cheesy sitcom breakups where one ex would return to the other a cardboard box containing mix tapes, a concert t-shirt, and inevitably something comically random like a pet hamster or a piece of already-been-chewed gum. I swear there was an episode of Full House like that, but I can't find any proof of it on the Internet. Hm.

I wish I would have gone into more detail about mine and Rachel's phone call after our 4-day breakup. It seems like I wasn't really surprised or bothered when she called. Judging by the magnitude of the fight, I would have expected the conversation to go something like...

Rachel: "Hey, do you want to come to my family's garage sale today?"
Me: "Why the fuck are you calling me?!?"

Instead, it seems like we didn't even acknowledge the fight at all. I suppose that just goes to show our fight was more about drama and attention than actual anger. Lame.

What the kcuf?

Who would have thought that planning a simple sleepover would cause so much drama? Too bad I didn't know the word "hypocrite" back then, otherwise I would have used it. It would have been much more descriptive and accurate than calling Rachel a "rat"-- which I don't really understand why I chose that word.

However, I do enjoy my usage of the backwards spelling of "fuck". I learned that from listening to TLC. It was during this summer that Rachel, Jenny, and I were obsessed with the TLC "CrazySexyCool" tape. During our breaks at Art Camp, we would play that cassette on our Walkmans (Walkmen?) over and over and sing along. We were little suburban girls singing about drugs, sex, and gang violence... topics we couldn't relate to, much less understand. But that didn't stop us from memorizing every lyric.

I've learned that when you memorize something at a young age, it tends to stay with you forever. I can still recite the alphabet backwards and the 50 states in alphabetical order. I still know the recorded warning played in the line of Waldameer's Whacky Shack and the lyrics to Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego. And I can still sing the rap parts of TLC's "Waterfalls" and "Sumthin Wicked This Way Comes". It is in the "Sumthin Wicked This Way Comes" rap that I learned KCUF ("What the kcuf is going on?"). TLC probably altered the word to avoid a Parental Advisory warning, but I thought it was cool and saw it as a clever way for me to get away with swearing without actually swearing. Sneaky.

What do you think... will Rachel and I be friends again in the next entry? Or was that friendship over for good?

Cute or Ugly?

I'm really tired and heading to bed soon... but faced with guilt over my infrequent posts and a choice to either go to bed having not posted all weekend or to half-ass this post, I chose to half-ass... because nothing is more disappointing than checking people's blogs at work Monday morning to find nothing new. I understand. So, I apologize in advance for the minimal commentary on this entry, but minimal is better than nothing at all, right? Right?
After I was so pissed off at Rachel and Allison, it's interesting how quickly and easily everything was resolved.

Jim was our next-door neighbor growing up. He was two years older than me, so at this point, he was going into his freshman year of high school and I was going into 7th grade. I don't know why I was so conflicted over him being cute or ugly. I think he was a pretty average-looking guy. Maybe that's the problem with average-looking people.

Have you ever known someone where if you look at them one way, they're really attractive... but if you REALLY look at them, they're actually kind of ugly? Or vice versa even. I remember noticing some guys like that in high school. They were either really cute or really ugly, I couldn't tell. Or maybe like some of those girls on America's Next Top Model, for example. Some of them are really homely or weird-looking at first. But on second glance, they're actually really uniquely beautiful. Am I making any sense? I swear, I have noticed this quality about a handful of people throughout my life. If you haven't, maybe you should look again...
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Damn, I got carried away... I guess this commentary is actually about average length. Premature apology rescinded.

Oh the profanity!

Oh my goodness! So much anger! You would have thought Rachel and Allison stole my boyfriend or murdered my family. But all they did was leave me out for TWO days.

Well, it was the middle of summer between 6th and 7th grade which meant I probably hung out at home all day and played with my friends. That was my life. So any change was a big change. And I was probably worried that I was going to end up spending the rest of my summer alone, like a loser.

It's interesting that my emotions manifested as pure hatred and anger. Instead of just feeling sad and sorry for myself, I was mostly plain old pissed.

Three swear words in one entry-- that's a new record!