Hot & Sweaty Heaven

The dance was so magical... Richard and I were so close, he bought me a plastic rose, everything was perfect, and also Kevin was #1 on my list of compatible matches. Where did Kevin come from? Random.

In the messages that my friends wrote, the first was Lianna and the second was Jaime. The whole grandpa thing must have been an inside joke... I don't understand it now. I can't remember who code names Zeus and Marv were. I thought Marv was Doug but that wouldn't make sense because Jaime danced with him.

I'm not sure that "Still in Love" by New Edition is the best song to associate with Joanne's crush on Richard. The lyrics would imply that Richard loved her too and his friends were jealous of them. Minor detail. As we've read before, I've picked weird songs to relate to my middle school relationships too. In our defense, we didn't have the Internet back then to check the lyrics. And we were moody dramatic 13-year-olds who liked finding sad sappy love songs to listen to and cry ourselves to sleep.

For your enjoyment:


“2-21-97. Dear Diary, Hi! It’s after the dance! Lianna’s sleeping over too! COOL! At the dance I danced with Richard to every slow song. We were really close! My head was resting on his shoulder! Then he bought me a rose! It is so awesome! It lights up! It’s not real, it’s plastic. On my data match #1 compatible person is Kevin! The nose picker! Lianna danced with Cutter! Jaime danced with Doug! Christina danced with Chris! When I was dancing with Richard he kept holding me really close. Ahh! I was in heaven! I very hot & sweaty heaven! Well, here’s a word from Jaime & Lianna. Hi! Who do I love? I don’t know! - Me. To: My Grandpa. I love Zeus. I hate Marv. This is cool. My butt hurts. Not. From: Your granddaughter Randy. Joanne told me that every night she listens to ‘I’m Still in Love With You’ & thinks about Richard. I feel bad. Oh well! He’s all mine! See ya! Sab”

I hope I don't have to hang out with my boyfriend

Of course I didn't want to hang out with my boyfriend at the dance. I just wanted him to be there for the slow dances so I didn't look LAME like all the single girls. But the rest of the time, I just wanted to stand around, gossip, and giggle with my girl friends. DUH.

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“2-20-97. Dear Diary, Today Richard gave me a note. Highlights: He can go to the dance! But he just needs to get a ride. That’s about all. I hope I don’t have to hang out with him the whole time. Because I’d rather hang out with Jaime & Lianna. After the dance Jaime’s sleeping over! I hope Lianna isn’t mad. Joanne really likes Richard! I was reading a note she wrote to her neighbor. It said, ‘I really like Richard! But he really loves Krista & she really loves him. I’ll get my chance. He doesn’t like me but oh well, I’LL MAKE HIM!’ Weird! Gotta go! Sabrina.”

Gold Chain

Remember when we used to call guys "fine"? Haha. No one does that anymore, right? It sounds so funny to me now. Just as funny as "get your swerve on" sounds. The 90's were weird.

My only sources of income at that age were birthdays and babysitting, so I didn't spend a lot of money. But I'm really disappointed in myself for thinking that a GOLD CHAIN would be an affordable alternative to a t-shirt or a hat. Aw. And how serious I was! I definitely wasn't making a joke in the entry. I really thought that a gold chain would be a decent option. And maybe I could have found a cheap chain... but probably not cheaper than a t-shirt or hat! Oh... unless I went to Claire's. Ahhh I bet that's it. I gotta remember to think like a middle-schooler.

Spoiler alert (because I'm not sure I mention it in the upcoming entries): I didn't get Richard anything. It's all good because he didn't get me anything either. And all that time I spent worrying!

“2-11-97. Deary Diary, Today was an okay day. Richard gave me a note but it wasn’t very interesting so I’m not going to write its highlights. At the reflections ceremony today I showed Kasey who Richard was. She kept saying he was cute, hot, & fine! But, she likes every man on Earth anyway! Joanne told me Richard’s getting me earrings! GREAT! WHAT AM I GOING TO GET HIM! Tomorrow is the last day I can buy it! WHAT DO I DO??? Not a shirt! Too much $. Not a hat! Too much $. A gold chain? I DON’T KNOW! WHAT THE HELL DO I DO???!! HELP! -Krista”

The Charmer

"You're beautiful, you have a great personality, you're funny, and then there's that one thing about you (which I have no clue as to what it is) that makes me like you more & more every day."

Wow, what a charmer! How could someone not like a guy who gives those compliments (especially when you're an adolescent with low self-esteem)? That is seriously romantic stuff. At thirteen, where did Richard even learn to talk that way? Women would be lucky at any age to have a significant other say those kinds of things to them. I'm just glad I appreciated him at this moment instead of thinking he was annoying like I had in other entries! What a good guy.

“2-10-97. Dear Diary, Today Richard gave me 2 notes! The first one was just because he was thinking of me. On it he wrote URSoCute! 2nd notes highlights: ONE WHOLE PARAGRAPH EXACTLY IS: Joanne told me that she asked you at the Otters game why you liked me. She also told me that your response was, ‘He’s really really really cute & sweet.’ So I thought that it would just be fair to tell you why I like you. I like you because you’re beautiful, you have a great personality, you’re funny, and then there’s that one thing about you (which I have no clue as to what it is) that makes me like you more & more every day. Today I didn’t find Richard annoying one bit. I found him sweet! I knew our relationship was going to get better! On the way out of school, Mike gave Richard a note. Richard was reading it & he let me read it too. I was leaning on him so I could see the note too! We were so close! I really love him! Mrs. Decker & Mr. Jones know we’re going out. They’re butts! Mrs. Decker said we make a ‘very nice couple’! NOW WHAT DO I GET HIM FOR V-DAY??? HELP! -Krista P.S. Craig got his seat changed again! Bummer!”

TL;DR

My husband, brother-in-law, and I had a big debate a month or so ago about the term "TL;DR" ("Too Long; Didn't Read"). Bro-in-law & I maintain that it's used to reply to someone's email, form post, whatev that is too wordy... to let them know you're replying without having read the whole content and possibly to also give them a hint to write more succinctly in the future. Husband, however, still asserts that it's used to summarize one's OWN writing as a preface. So I guess you write a really long email and then after realizing it's way too long and no one is going to want to read it, you go back up to the top, write "TL;DR", and then summarize what you wrote in a few bullet points. Not sure why you wouldn't just delete the rest of your email at that point, after realizing that it's garbage... but anyhow.

So, realizing that this diary entry is 6 pages long, here's a husband-style TL;DR for you with all the most-important, most-entertaining parts...

TL;DR

• "Jaime & Rachel say that when I’m around Richard that I act like I want him to go away."
• "I never thought [Anthony] would even want bodily contact with me (don’t take that the wrong way!)!"
• In a Pro/Con list for whether to date Anthony: "CON- I don’t know if he likes me."
• "I’d hate dumping Richard for his younger, shorter best friend!"
• "When I’m around Richard, he is so annoying & I hate him."
• "If I’m reading a note from him at school, I just want to kill someone it’s so sickening."
• "Then, if I read the same note at home, I think he’s the sweetest creature on Earth!"
• Using the Magic 8 Ball for advice...
"KRD: Should I keep going out with Richard?
M8B: My Sources Say No.
KRD: Is it because of how I don’t like him when I’m around him?"
• "HOW DUMB I NEED REAL HELP FROM A HUMAN BEING NOT A PLASTIC BALL OF SHIT FILLED WITH PISS!"
• "Who do I really like? I need a sykyatrist!"

And if you really care to read the whole thing... here you go...!

“2-8-97. Dear Diary, Richard gave me a note yesterday. Here are the highlites: He said that if I want to hold his hand, that he’s okay with that. He’s probably thinking that he’s dying to hold my hand! Jaime & Rachel say that when I’m around Richard that I act like I want him to go away. They say I ignore him & act really mean towards him. Jaime says that she doesn’t think he notices. I sure hope he doesn’t notice! Today (actually tonight) we’re going to another hockey game (Otters). I hope there’s a lot of fights! I love it when they break out & start fighting! Gotta go! Krista! I LOVE RICHARD! SAME DAY AS LAST: Hi! It’s me again. I just got home from an Otters hockey game. The whole time I hung out with Lianna. Some of the time (about half) I hung out with Lianna, Joanne, & Anthony. Anthony told me that Richard’s getting me a rose, a necklace, & earrings for Valentine’s day! He told me I should get him a Nike hat. I will if I have enough money. I think Anthony does like me! Anthony is really nice. Lianna agrees that he’s kinda cute. Towards the end of the game I was at the drinking fountain. I was last in line, behind Seth. Anthony came out of nowhere (I didn’t even know he was there!) and pushed me a little from behind! I never thought he would do that. I never thought he would even want bodily contact with me (don’t take that the wrong way!)! I don’t know who I like more: Richard or Anthony. I’ll make a Pro/Con list. Here: RICHARD-- PRO- my age, cute, tall, he loves me, goes to my school; CON- shy around me. ANTHONY-- PRO- cute, not shy around me; CON- too young, short, I don’t know if he likes me, Joanne might get mad at me, doesn’t go to my school. That’s all I can think of. Because Richard has 3 more Pros and 4 less Cons, I guess I should stick with him, huh? I sure hope that’s the right thing to do. I really need some assistance, bad. I’d hate dumping Richard for his younger, shorter best friend! Richard would hate me forever! I really hate it! When I’m around Richard, he is so annoying & I hate him. If I’m reading a note from him at school, I just want to kill someone it’s so sickening. Then, if I read the same note at home, I think he’s the sweetest creature on Earth! Somehow, that doesn’t seem right at all. At school walking out, if Jaime asks me if I want to hold hands with Richard I think ‘Definitely Not!’ But then when I think about it at home afterwards, I totally regret my decision. That seems very wrong. Here, let’s use some help from Mr. Magic 8 Ball dude. KRD: Should I keep going out with Richard? M8B: My Sources Say No. KRD: Is it because of how I don’t like him when I’m around him? M8B: My Sources Say No. KRD: Is that all you can say? M8B: Very Doubtful. KRD: Would I be better off with Anthony? M8B: Most Likely. KRD: Are you telling the truth about all of this? M8B: My Sources Say No. HOW DUMB I NEED REAL HELP FROM A HUMAN BEING NOT A PLASTIC BALL OF SHIT FILLED WITH PISS! HELP ME! Someone… Anyone…! Agghh! -Krista P.S. Do I love Richard really? Do I love Anthony really? Who do I really like? I need a sykyatrist! HELP!”