  Remember when we used to call guys "fine"? Haha. No one does that anymore, right? It sounds so funny to me now. Just as funny as "get your swerve on" sounds. The 90's were weird.
My only sources of income at that age were birthdays and babysitting, so I didn't spend a lot of money. But I'm really disappointed in myself for thinking that a GOLD CHAIN would be an affordable alternative to a t-shirt or a hat. Aw. And how serious I was! I definitely wasn't making a joke in the entry. I really thought that a gold chain would be a decent option. And maybe I could have found a cheap chain... but probably not cheaper than a t-shirt or hat! Oh... unless I went to Claire's. Ahhh I bet that's it. I gotta remember to think like a middle-schooler.
Spoiler alert (because I'm not sure I mention it in the upcoming entries): I didn't get Richard anything. It's all good because he didn't get me anything either. And all that time I spent worrying!
“2-11-97. Deary Diary, Today was an okay day. Richard gave me a note but it wasn’t very interesting so I’m not going to write its highlights. At the reflections ceremony today I showed Kasey who Richard was. She kept saying he was cute, hot, & fine! But, she likes every man on Earth anyway! Joanne told me Richard’s getting me earrings! GREAT! WHAT AM I GOING TO GET HIM! Tomorrow is the last day I can buy it! WHAT DO I DO??? Not a shirt! Too much $. Not a hat! Too much $. A gold chain? I DON’T KNOW! WHAT THE HELL DO I DO???!! HELP! -Krista”
   Did I really think I was being a good girlfriend? I would buy Richard a Candi-Gram "if I remembered." I imagined a time in the future when Richard and I were "done with our relationship". I don't think anyone was expecting to marry their middle school boyfriend, but it's funny to see it addressed so plainly. What was the point?
I like how I just casually mentioned I had safety goggles from Erie Plating as if I went there every day. Actually, if I remember correctly, I was somehow chosen to "shadow" someone at Erie Plating with a 3 or 4 other students. I feel like whoever we shadowed was a pretty intelligent chemist or something... but I was not interested. Here's what I do remember...
- Free safety goggles
- Dipping a quarter in some kind of liquid to plate it... that was pretty cool
- Learning that AC-DC can mean "bisexual." A piece of equipment had a voltage label for AC & DC and one of the boys on the tour told me the slang.
Unfortunately, it seems "AC-DC" is the only thing I learned that day. At least I learned something?
“2-6-97. Dear Diary, Richard didn’t give me a note today. I don’t really know why, but I don’t really care. He put a Happy Ad on announcements for me. The whole school saw it! It said, ‘To: Krista. I’m thinking of you! Love, Richard.’ He told me that he’s putting another one on for me tomorrow! I think that’s really sweet! He also is giving me a Candi-gram! I’m gonna buy him one tomorrow if I remember. Before I went into Social Studies, Doug stopped me & gave me a broken pencil. He said, ‘Here’s a little present!’ Then Teri said, ‘Yeah Krista, it’s his Valentines Day present to you!’ What was that supposed to mean? I’m not quite sure. Then, I was walking out of school with Richard & Doug was walking next to me but with his friends. He didn’t know I was there until I pushed him. Then he looked at me & said, ‘Oh, hi!’ Then I put on my safety goggles I got from Erie Plating today. Then Doug said, ‘Oh, cool! Where’d you get those?’ I told him & then he asked me if he could wear them. I said, ‘Sure!’ & gave them to him. Then he put them on & started running around the lobby with them on. I practically had to strangle him to get them back! I think we’re just friends. But when Richard & I are done with our relationship & if Doug wants to go out with me, I’d probably say yes. But for now, we’re just friends. Gotta go! Krista I love Richard. P.S. KC said that Richard’s getting me a rose for Valentine’s Day.”
  
There are a couple ways one may interpret this situation:
1. The Mature and Rational Way - Giving Kara the Benefit of the Doubt
Kara used to date Mike. Even though Kara doesn't like Mike anymore, she is driven to tears after finding out that a good friend (Jaime) betrayed her and asked out her ex-boyfriend. Jaime should have known he was off-limits. 2. The Immature Middle School Way - What Really Happened
Kara used to date Mike. But Kara doesn't like Mike anymore, or so she says. Jaime and Mike are going out. But Jaime also likes Mark and Richard, so what's the point? Everyone likes everyone but somehow no one ever gets what they want. Everyone cries. Welcome to Middle School.
Also, before I go, I'd like to explore the etymology of "butt munch". Google, don't let me down now.
Unfortunately, I didn't come back with much. I'm sure most of us can already trace our first memory of "butt munch" back to Beavis and Butthead. Aaaand that's about as far as I got. But I did find this interesting interview with Mike Judge (the Creator of B&B) in which Judge discusses MTV's censorship of the show:
"For example butt-munch -- which they say a lot: originally in junior high people used to call each other ass-munch. So we put ass-munch in a script but the MTV standards department said no. We changed it to butt-munch and said that for about a year. Then I forgot they said no to ass-munch and I put it in there. By then they were so used to butt-munch that they didn't even notice ass-munch." Probably the most comprehensive definition I found is courtesy of ChaCha:
A butt munch (noun) is defined as 1. An annoying person that you would like to shut up. 2. A bothersome sibling. 3. A friend who is being a jackass. It is also a stupid or idiotic person, or a person that munches on a butt. A person. That munches. On a butt. Somehow in the past 14 years I never spent enough time thinking about "butt munch" to realize the literal, obvious meaning of the phrase. I love you, Internet.
---
“2-3-97. Dear Diary, Today Richard gave me a note (like usual). Highlights: He wrote: I’ve been thinking of you a lot! At the end of his dream we were going back out. He wrote on the note: I love you! Luv ya! And XXX OOO. His friend Pete wrote on it: Richard loves Krista. That is really weird because the note I wrote him I wrote these things: I’m just thinking about you, I’ve been doing that a lot lately. I told him that Joanne told me about his dream. I wrote, ‘Luv ya’ on it. Those things are practically the same! Joanne told told me that Anthony likes me! She told me that Anthony is always saying, ‘I have to call Krista! I have to call Kasey! I have to talk to Krista! I have to talk to Kasey!’ Joanne told me he’s obsessing over us! If I wasn’t going out with Richard, I’d probably want to go out with Anthony. Jaime might dump Mike. Because Kara’s mad at her. Kara wasn’t mad at Jaime for going out with Mike until she found out that she asked him out. Kara even said she doesn’t like Mike. But apparently she does. Kara said she was crying in chorus. Like we give a damn! We don’t care about her butt munching hell of a life! She is such a bitch! She is such a freaking liar! I really hate her! I don’t know what Jaime should do. Actually I think she should ignore stupid Kara & go on with her life. She should tell Kara that no matter how long Kara cries & no matter how long she complains she won’t dump Mike. She should just blow Kara off. Who cares about her? Jaime told me that she kinda likes Mark again. She said that she kinda likes Richard too! -Krista”
   I already addressed the scandalousness of "Nobody". But in case you've forgotten and because the chorus the girl sings is slightly different than the chorus Keith sings that I posted before... here are some of the lyrics I sang (assuming I actually knew the lyrics):And who can love you like me
Who can sex you like me
Who can lay your body down
Nobody, baby
And who can treat you like me
Who can give you what you need
And who can do you all night long
Nobody, baby
I think the weirdest part of all this is that Chris and I were singing this sexy song in his mother's car WHILE HIS MOTHER WAS DRIVING. I made it clear in the diary entry that it was not funny at the time... we weren't joking around like "haha it's so funny we're singing this totally inappropriate song"... we were serious. I obviously didn't have a problem with it then but ew ew EW it is creeping me out now just thinking about it. I'm so embarassed.
Wait wait... possibly weirder is that we were two hormone-filled teenagers casually singing a song about sex on the way home from RELIGIOUS ED. ---
“2-2-97. Dear Diary, Nothing much happened today, really. I forgot to tell you, Richard dropped out of the play! He said something else he was doing was conflicting with practices. Anthony told me that Richard has an electric guitar! Cool! Today I carpooled with Chris J to & from CCD. On the way there, like usual we were both singing to the songs. But on the way home ‘Nobody’ by Keith Sweat came on. It was so funny because he sang all of the male parts of the song & I sang the female! It was so funny (but it wasn’t funny then). Then when I was getting out of the car to go inside my house afterwards, Chris said, ‘See ya!’! That’s funny because that’s what Richard usually says to me. And see ya is short for see ya later! When we were walking to the car, we were pretty close together. People who saw us probably thought 1 of 2 things. They either thought, ‘They’re brother & sister’ or they thought, ‘They’re going out!’ Kasey told me that I should go out with him. I would but I don’t think he’d go out with me! He’s kinda cute. Mom & Kasey & Monica all say that Doug & I would make a good couple. Monica keeps saying, ‘I think you & Doug would make the best & cutest couple!’ I’m sorry to say that buy I agree. I mean put our pictures side by side and it just looks ‘right.’ I don’t like him, at all. But, somewhere down the line, in a few years, I can very well see us going out. But for now, I’m not looking forward to it! -Krista I LOVE RICHARD!”
Allow me to introduce you to Diary #5...  Yes, Diary #5 is covered with a luxurious velvet/velour material. Sexy.
Here's the inside of the cover... Old school label-maker! Hell yeah! What dates the diary more... the velvet cover or the old labels?
Onto the first entry...   Three notes in one day-- that's INTENSE.
INVU4URAQT... I remember being so confused by this. Yeah, I understood what it meant... but why would Richard, a boy, envy me for being cute? Wouldn't that mean that he wanted to be cute like me? Odd. I take that back, I am still confused by this.
Casual acronyms like this one really took off starting in middle school. Okay, disclaimer: I recognize INVU4URAQT isn't an acronym... but you know what I mean... strings of letters that represent words in some way or another. Haha. Anyhow, this was years before we started using OMG, WTF, and TTYL.
Instead, these were the years of...
- C/M - Call Me
- W/B - Write Back
- WBS - Write Back Soon
- WBASAP - Write Back As Soon As Possible
- TTFN - Ta Ta For Now
- LYLAS - Love You Like A Sister
- YBFFAA - Your Best Friend Forever And Always
- WAZ ↑ ↓ @? - What's up, down, all around?
Yes, I found those by looking through my two-inch binder filled with middle school notes.
Two other things I found were Sorry So Sloppy (written with one big S and all three words written beside it) and Boys Before Books Because Books Become Boring (written similarly).
Do you remember any more to add to the old school acronym list?
---
“1-21-97. Dear Diary, Hello! I think that’s what I’ll call you. Plain-diary. But that’s okay. NOTE TO THE READER: Please read my 4 diaries before this. Cuz if you don’t you won’t know what’s going on. So… Today (this morning) Richard gave me a note. Here are some of the highlights: He made me a bracelet (string)! He said that he thought the dance was awesome! He wants my school picture! He wrote INVU4URAQT! Get it? “I envy you for you are a cutie” Then on the front of the note he wrote – QT (cutie)! Then I wrote him back & he wrote me back. On this note some of the highlights are: Well, he said he was writing in SWEP & he didn’t want Mrs. Sam to catch him. This note ended with: Love, Richard! Then he wrote me another note. Highlights: He said that his parents don’t let him have girlfriends, but he does anyhow. This one ended with Love, Richard too. Every one of these notes had a heart drawn somewhere on it! WOW! He doesn’t know how much this bracelet means to me! He is so sweet! I hope this relationship lasts! I showed Kasey the bracelet from Richard. She said she knew about it because Anthony told her. Richard called me after school today. He asked what time the movie that Monica & I are trying to get a group of people to go to on Friday is going to be. Whenever he calls me he says, “This is Rich.” He calls himself Rich! I’m sorry but that’s kinda funny. Well, gotta go! Krista I LOVE RICHARD!”
  I can't remember if we've been over this already. Anthony was Richard's next-door neighbor who was also friends with my sister Kasey because they were in the same grade. Actually, I think they might have dated at some point, but I'm not sure. To make this love triangle (more like love pentagon) even more complicated, Anthony's sister Joanne was in my and Richard's grade and from what I remember, she always had a HUGE crush on him.
Anyhow, teenagers today don't know what they're missing. They're so busy thinking they're all cool with their own cell phones that they probably don't even realize that the advent of the cell phone has seriously reduced their options when it comes to spying on their siblings. If no one is using the communal family house phone, how can you possibly listen in to your sister's conversations? Through her bedroom door? Lame. And obvious.
Back in the 90's, it was so easy to pick up another line, cover the mouthpiece and/or hold your breath, and listen in to other people's private conversations. Was it fair, moral, or right to do? Of course not. But reality TV was limited at the time and nobody kept blogs, so it was the best entertainment you could get in the "watching-other-people's-lives" genre. Don't get the impression that I was the only one doing the spying in my household. Incorrect. My sister did her fair share as well!
It was always frustrating when you got busted though... when they heard you pick up the other line and knew you were there, listening. Kasey would say something like, "Who's on the phone? Krista! Get off the phone! I heard you pick up!!" Sometimes I'd try to just stay quiet and ride it out until she was convinced I wasn't really on the line. Other times, I'd give up and attempt to hang up as slowly and carefully as I had tried to get on... so as to not admit fault.
But then I discovered THE TRICK. If you unplugged the cord from the phone first, picked up the receiver from the base (it couldn't be a cordless phone), and THEN plugged the cord back in... voila! It was much quieter and less noticeable than trying to slowly pick up the clunky receiver. And there, my friend, is THE TRICK... I just wish I knew someone who could benefit from it today... but alas, with cell phones there is no TRICK. There is no spying, period.
Thank goodness we have reality TV and blogs.
---
“1-20-97. Dear Yraid, Anthony called Kasey today. I picked up the phone to listen into their conversation. Anthony said, “Put Krista on!” Kasey said, “Why?” Anthony kept saying, “Put Krista on!” & Kasey kept saying, “Why?” So finally I said, “I’m on.” Well, then, Richard came on the phone! Here’s how the conversation went. RS: Hi. KD: Hi. RS: They forced me to do this. This is Rich, of course. KD: I know. RS: Did you go to the movies Saturday night? KD: No, no one went because no one could go. RS: Well, I’ll see you tomorrow. KD: Yeah. Bye. Then Anthony came back on the phone. AB: Will you go out with Richard? KD: Yeah. AB: SHE SAID YES! SHE SAID YES! SHE SAID YES! I’ve gotta go! Bye! KD: Bye! I’m going out with Richard again! YES! Well, I would have rather told him to his face, but this will suffice! Well, I have to go dream about Richard! -Krista I LOVE RICHARD!”
I apologize for not posting in almost a week... but this summer is crazy. Especially with work. I've been working ten and eleven hour days recently... yikes. But I'm not here for sympathy. I'm here to share with you this drama-filled gem:
(ha... funny the diary entry also starts with an apology for not writing often...)
    I can't imagine a more legitimate reason to hate your life other than having a little sister tease you and not give you mints. That is, unless she's also sitting in the highly-desired front seat of the car when she does it. In that case, you might as well wish death upon yourself and apologize for your birth.
Seriously?
There are children in this world with no sisters, no mothers, no cars, and worst of all- no breath mints... and yet I was the one with such a sucky life? I'm embarrassed now by the drama I caused. Sure my sister played instigator... but why was my gut reaction physical violence rather than calmly saying, "Mom, Kasey won't give me the mints" and waiting for Mom to make her hand them over? Sure it'd be kinda whiney, but it definitely would have solved the issue better and faster. Oh the joys of sibling rivalry.
So quick comments about my seventh grade teachers. It's interesting looking back and comparing my first impressions to my last (and current) impressions. In backwards order...
Mr. Jones: First impression = "weird". I'd say that's somewhat accurate. I mean, he wasn't that weird... but he did grunt a lot and had a crooked finger or something. But other than that, I think he was a decent guy.
Mrs. Chandler: First impression = "really nice". I honestly can't even picture what this woman looked like. All I remember is learning about variables. I thought algebra was awesome. Yay math!
Mr. Lohse: First impression = "okay". He flirted with my mom big time when she came to take-your-parent-to-school-day or whatever it was called. He even wrote "Say hi to your mom for me!" in my yearbook at the end of the year. Awkward. He ended up being my favorite teacher that year. He was always super nice to me... probably because he had the hots for my mom.
Mrs. Decker: First impression = "okay". Ohhh Mrs. Decker. She was really supportive of my creative writing (she even read some of my stories out loud to the class) and was really nice to me... until I f-ed up royally. Unfortunately, I don't have enough time right now to discuss the details of the traumatic events I caused in her classroom... but hopefully we'll come back to that soon. Definitely before my 7th grade diary entries are over! Don't you worry!
      I haven't made a list recently and at an impressive 6 pages, this entry definitely needs one.
1. For some reason, that night at Grandma's, we had to sleep on the hardwood dining room floor. I can't remember why we couldn't sleep in the upstairs bedroom. It might have had something to do with the fact that one time when we stayed there previously, Kasey and I pulled a bunch of the "bumps" off the egg crate mattress pad and blamed it on each other. Anyhow, we were sleeping on the floor and that's how the big black carpenter ant so easily crawled in my sleeping bag. I don't know what I was so scared of. I probably imagined waking up completely covered in ants or suffocating from ant inhalation. Yuck.
2. I love how I always wrote that Doug and I were "| | this close". I remember wondering while writing these entries if that was an accurate representation of how far apart we were. I mean, that distance looks pretty small on paper, but when you think about it in real life, Doug and I would be REALLY close. We might as well have been touching. So I'd wonder if we were actually whole inches apart. But then I'd think... even though it might be more accurate when translated to real life, writing "we were | | this close" comes across on paper as a bigger distance than it actually is when translated to real life... and it wastes a lot of paper. So I decided to stick with "| |" because accurate or inaccurate, it gets the point across.
3. I asked Suzy to break up with Doug? Doesn't that violate some kind of girl code? You're not supposed to like or date a friend's ex, let alone a friend's current boyfriend! In my defense though, I did like him first. Ha. So there. No but really, can you imagine crushing on your friend's b/f now and being like, "Hey, do you think you could dump your man? I'd like to date him. Thanks." Yeah, that'd go over well...
4. "He said he didn't like me a while ago, like Wednesday." In sixth grade, apparently a "while" was 3 days.
5. Dammit. I started liking Doug again. Honestly, had I ever really stopped?
Join us while I play Super Mario Bros. on NES and Dawn provides color commentary...
Man, how bad did I suck? This must have been before I got my own Nintendo and went from friend's house to friend's house monopolizing their NES controller instead. I don't know why I was struggling so badly. I remember playing Mario so much that eventually it got so easy and boring that we used to challenge ourselves by lying on our backs, tilting our heads back, and playing the game upside-down.
Playing Nintendo reminds me of many things... but one of those things was the time my sister Kasey got a new puppy.
We got the little black lab mix at the Humane Society one night and my sister named him Jellybean. I thought this was an awful name because: #1- Jelly beans weren't even Kasey's favorite candy and #2- I have always hated black jelly beans. Ugh. But it was her dog and I didn't really have room to talk considering I named my cat Easy. Actually, I named my cat Daisy... but had to think quick when the vet informed me that my stray tabby was not a girl cat, but actually an already-neutered male. Whoops.
So anyhow, we got Jellybean home and that little terror ran crazy around our house, peed everywhere, and barked all night. I know, that's what puppies do... but my parents already had three young kids and my little brother was probably just out of diapers himself... this puppy put them in over their heads. And what was the straw that broke the camel's back? Jellybean chewed through the wire of one of my Nintendo controllers. Aw hells no.
So my parents "returned" Jellybean to the Humane Society the next day and bought me a new controller. Poor Kasey. How heartbreaking. It seems like stuff like that was always happening to her. Like the time my parents returned her Pow-Pow-PowerWheels when they realized it lost its charge in 15 minutes.
But when I think of NES, I still remember how my Nintendo was awesomer than a puppy.
  Michael is my brother and he would have been five years old at the time. While I don't remember him singing the "Krista is dumb" song, I do remember him tickling me with a truck. I was kneeling next to my bed writing in my diary and he was rolling a toy truck up and down my calves. He knew it was annoying me and the more upset I got, the more he laughed. So I had to give up writing in my diary and pay more attention to him.
Unfortunately, I didn't write again later that day. Lots of good stuff in the next entry though!
My friend Dave said that when he pictured me hitting my sister with a popsicle stick, he envisioned me doing it as an adult since he didn't know what I looked like when I was younger. So I sent him this picture of me and my siblings...
 That's at the Erie Zoo in the spring/summer of 1991 probably, which means I was 7 years old at the time.
I'm on the left by the way. And yes, that is a hip pack.
 "Dear Diary, In Kindergarten there was a boy named Andrew and me and Megan loved him but then Andrew told me that he only loved me."Finally! An accurate date on the entry below. July 23, 1991. This was the summer after First Grade. "My mom sent me up to my room because my sister was whining and I didn't do anything to her. Why did my mom do that?" When my friend Michelle was over for dinner tonight, I had her take a closer look at my oldest diary entries with me. She has experience teaching kindergartners so I figured she might be able to help decipher some of the ambiguously spelled words. In the second entry I posted, the one about my preschool crush Nathan, I was never 100% sure about the last sentence. My best guess was "My hero", but that doesn't explain the three letters after that, clearly including an A and a V.  Michelle explained that when kids are first starting to write phonetically, it's hard for them to figure out "Th", "Sh", and "Ch" combinations. Which explains why I used an H in place of Th multiple times... such as when I said "there was this boy", but spelled "there" "har": By thinking that the H in the phrase above "HRO ?AV" may not have actually been a simple H sound, we finally came to the conclusion that it doesn't say "MY HERO", it actually says... "MY TRUE LOVE."Awwwwww.We also cheated a bit and erased some of the pencil scratches to reveal there is indeed an L under all that mess. To a 6-year-old... "HRO LAV" = "TRUE LOVE". :)
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Remember when we used to call guys "fine"? Haha. No one does that anymore, right? It sounds so funny to me now. Just as funny as "get your swerve on" sounds. The 90's were weird.
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