  "I want my freedom"... from what?? We never saw each other outside of school, we never talked on the phone, we didn't even sit together at lunch. We exchanged notes in the hallway and that's about it.
And my alternative was Rob, a boy who I would definitely make a really cute couple with, but who may not go out with me. Hell, he may not even LIKE me.
I'm really anxious to see how this is going to work out... haha.
---
"3-3-97. Dear Diary, I might dump Richard tomorrow. I'm not sure. At lunch & after I was really serious about it. I told like everyone I saw! Now I'm not quite sure if I should. I still like him but I don't want to go out with him anymore. I want my freedom & stuff. Should I OR shouldn't I? HELP. I think I've told too many people to not dump him. Ugh! HELP! Kara, Lianna, & Jaime all think that Rob & I would make a really good couple. Jaime said so even though she likes him! Agh! What to do, what to do? I'm starting to agree with them. Would he ever go out with me though? Krista"
    This diary entry is a prime example of middle school drama. Something as simple as cafeteria seating arrangements could end friendships. Well, temporarily at least. Even though I said Jaime was taking Lianna's place as best friend, in reality, Lianna and I are still friends today and my friendship with Jaime fell out in high school. So now, Lianna and I have been best friends for 22 years... almost three times the *long* 8 year friendship I mentioned at the time in the entry. Wow that makes me feel old. But I also feel so lucky to still have best friends that I've had since elementary school. We went through all the drama together and our friendships are so much stronger for it!
Not sure how I jumped to the conclusion that people didn't like me because I had a boyfriend. Well, I guess I do kind of remember what that felt like. I felt kind of isolated because I had less in common with my friends. It was like, when I didn't have a boyfriend, I felt like I was the only one in the school without a boyfriend... and then once I got a boyfriend, I realized that actually, none of my friends had boyfriends. Which meant, no one to talk to about boyfriend stuff... and if anyone were to actually bring it up, they'd be annoying and all "ooooh how's your BOYFRIEND??? hehehehe" about it.
Of course that electronic dictionary that Richard used for romantic purposes is the same one that got me the infamous Saturday detention.
---
“2-26-97. Hi Diary, It’s 7:03am. I have to leave soon. Personally I don’t like sitting with Kara, Jessie, Mike, etc. at lunch. Because they’re creeps. Mom wants me to sit with Christina & them. Tell you the rest when I get home. Gotta go. Sorry! -Sabi I’m back. Okay. Lianna started sitting with them about every other day a week ago. Monday, they had enough room at their table so me, Jaime, & Lianna could all sit there. Tuesday (Lianna’s day to sit with us) she sat with them. She said, ‘Ya, maybe you guys (me & Jaime) can sit with us tomorrow.’ First of all, when did she become one of ‘them’? Second of all, why is she so conceited? Geez, I hope she doesn’t read this! If she is reading this, then Lianna, I’m sorry for saying all this mean stuff but it’s the way I feel. Sorry! I think that is really rude of her. I mean, being my BEST friend for 8 years & then just dropping me like a hot potato. I want to be good friends with Christina, Meghan, Kristin, Leah, Michelle, Diana, & Amy but I don’t think they like me. Maybe it’s because I have a boyfriend. Well, hello? Having a boyfriend isn’t going to change my personality! Geez! I feel like it’s Lianna’s fault for ignoring me so suddenly & being so rude. But then I also think that they’re in the wrong. They’re stealing my friend, my BEST friend. Well, to bad, see if I care! From now on, I declare, Jaime is my BEST friend. Go ahead Lianna, leave me with the creeps. Don’t care about me. All she cares about is herself. SHE IS SO CONCEITED! O-kay. Today in Language Arts, Mrs. Decker has this electronic dictionary thing. Well, you can make it say stuff. Anyhow, Richard was using it. He said, “listen to this” and put the speaker part up to my ear. He made it say, ‘I love you!’ How sweet! Awhh! I read 2 notes that he put in my file server. They say like I LOVE YOU all over them. I think he’s getting annoying again. I almost want to dump him! I want to be a free woman! HELP! -Krista”
  Of course I didn't want to hang out with my boyfriend at the dance. I just wanted him to be there for the slow dances so I didn't look LAME like all the single girls. But the rest of the time, I just wanted to stand around, gossip, and giggle with my girl friends. DUH.--- “2-20-97. Dear Diary, Today Richard gave me a note. Highlights: He can go to the dance! But he just needs to get a ride. That’s about all. I hope I don’t have to hang out with him the whole time. Because I’d rather hang out with Jaime & Lianna. After the dance Jaime’s sleeping over! I hope Lianna isn’t mad. Joanne really likes Richard! I was reading a note she wrote to her neighbor. It said, ‘I really like Richard! But he really loves Krista & she really loves him. I’ll get my chance. He doesn’t like me but oh well, I’LL MAKE HIM!’ Weird! Gotta go! Sabrina.”
My husband, brother-in-law, and I had a big debate a month or so ago about the term "TL;DR" ("Too Long; Didn't Read"). Bro-in-law & I maintain that it's used to reply to someone's email, form post, whatev that is too wordy... to let them know you're replying without having read the whole content and possibly to also give them a hint to write more succinctly in the future. Husband, however, still asserts that it's used to summarize one's OWN writing as a preface. So I guess you write a really long email and then after realizing it's way too long and no one is going to want to read it, you go back up to the top, write "TL;DR", and then summarize what you wrote in a few bullet points. Not sure why you wouldn't just delete the rest of your email at that point, after realizing that it's garbage... but anyhow.
So, realizing that this diary entry is 6 pages long, here's a husband-style TL;DR for you with all the most-important, most-entertaining parts...
TL;DR
- "Jaime & Rachel say that when I’m around Richard that I act like I want him to go away."
- "I never thought [Anthony] would even want bodily contact with me (don’t take that the wrong way!)!"
- In a Pro/Con list for whether to date Anthony: "CON- I don’t know if he likes me."
- "I’d hate dumping Richard for his younger, shorter best friend!"
- "When I’m around Richard, he is so annoying & I hate him."
- "If I’m reading a note from him at school, I just want to kill someone it’s so sickening."
- "Then, if I read the same note at home, I think he’s the sweetest creature on Earth!"
- Using the Magic 8 Ball for advice...
"KRD: Should I keep going out with Richard?
M8B: My Sources Say No.
KRD: Is it because of how I don’t like him when I’m around him?" - "HOW DUMB I NEED REAL HELP FROM A HUMAN BEING NOT A PLASTIC BALL OF SHIT FILLED WITH PISS!"
- "Who do I really like? I need a sykyatrist!"
And if you really care to read the whole thing... here you go...!
      “2-8-97. Dear Diary, Richard gave me a note yesterday. Here are the highlites: He said that if I want to hold his hand, that he’s okay with that. He’s probably thinking that he’s dying to hold my hand! Jaime & Rachel say that when I’m around Richard that I act like I want him to go away. They say I ignore him & act really mean towards him. Jaime says that she doesn’t think he notices. I sure hope he doesn’t notice! Today (actually tonight) we’re going to another hockey game (Otters). I hope there’s a lot of fights! I love it when they break out & start fighting! Gotta go! Krista! I LOVE RICHARD! SAME DAY AS LAST: Hi! It’s me again. I just got home from an Otters hockey game. The whole time I hung out with Lianna. Some of the time (about half) I hung out with Lianna, Joanne, & Anthony. Anthony told me that Richard’s getting me a rose, a necklace, & earrings for Valentine’s day! He told me I should get him a Nike hat. I will if I have enough money. I think Anthony does like me! Anthony is really nice. Lianna agrees that he’s kinda cute. Towards the end of the game I was at the drinking fountain. I was last in line, behind Seth. Anthony came out of nowhere (I didn’t even know he was there!) and pushed me a little from behind! I never thought he would do that. I never thought he would even want bodily contact with me (don’t take that the wrong way!)! I don’t know who I like more: Richard or Anthony. I’ll make a Pro/Con list. Here: RICHARD-- PRO- my age, cute, tall, he loves me, goes to my school; CON- shy around me. ANTHONY-- PRO- cute, not shy around me; CON- too young, short, I don’t know if he likes me, Joanne might get mad at me, doesn’t go to my school. That’s all I can think of. Because Richard has 3 more Pros and 4 less Cons, I guess I should stick with him, huh? I sure hope that’s the right thing to do. I really need some assistance, bad. I’d hate dumping Richard for his younger, shorter best friend! Richard would hate me forever! I really hate it! When I’m around Richard, he is so annoying & I hate him. If I’m reading a note from him at school, I just want to kill someone it’s so sickening. Then, if I read the same note at home, I think he’s the sweetest creature on Earth! Somehow, that doesn’t seem right at all. At school walking out, if Jaime asks me if I want to hold hands with Richard I think ‘Definitely Not!’ But then when I think about it at home afterwards, I totally regret my decision. That seems very wrong. Here, let’s use some help from Mr. Magic 8 Ball dude. KRD: Should I keep going out with Richard? M8B: My Sources Say No. KRD: Is it because of how I don’t like him when I’m around him? M8B: My Sources Say No. KRD: Is that all you can say? M8B: Very Doubtful. KRD: Would I be better off with Anthony? M8B: Most Likely. KRD: Are you telling the truth about all of this? M8B: My Sources Say No. HOW DUMB I NEED REAL HELP FROM A HUMAN BEING NOT A PLASTIC BALL OF SHIT FILLED WITH PISS! HELP ME! Someone… Anyone…! Agghh! -Krista P.S. Do I love Richard really? Do I love Anthony really? Who do I really like? I need a sykyatrist! HELP!”
   Heart-dotted i's! That's how you knew I was REALLY in love. And ohmygosh, can you believe that Richard and I stared at each other for a full 30 seconds? At the time, that was the most romantic event in my life... now it just sounds kind of awkward and creepy.
THE Lianna is actually in town this week and staying with me. I asked her if she remembered the dance in this entry (because I don't). After thinking for a minute or so, her response was, "Um, it was in the gym." All our dances were in the gym. We agreed there were just too many dances in middle school to keep them straight.
Then we found "One Sweet Day" on YouTube and sang the whole song together. We still remembered all the lyrics, knew every single undulation of Mariah Carey's voice, and nailed the key change-- all of which is pretty surprising considering we probably haven't heard that song in 10 years. How could we remember the song so well and yet have no memory of the dance?
As we were singing the song, I realized for the first time EVER that "One Sweet Day"... a song that has such romantic associations in my memory... is about SOMEONE WHO DIED. How the hell did I miss that before? "And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven / Like so many friends we've lost along the way / And I know eventually we'll be together / One sweet day." Not so romantic anymore. Yikes.
So, I asked Lianna, "Whoa, is this song about someone who DIED?" She responded, "Yeah! I think it was about some rapper or something." I said, "No, that was 'I'll Be Missing You'."
Turns out we were both right, kinda. "One Sweet Day" was written for a music producer, a guitarist, and a road manager who passed away and "I'll Be Missing You" was written for Notorious B.I.G. Apparently there were a lot of R&B tribute songs in the 1990's. Unfortunately for the writers of those songs, I instead associate them with tween hormones and awkward middle school slow dances.
---
“1-18-97. Dear Yraid, All I can think about is Richard! He is so cute & sweet! He’s not afraid to ask girls out. Plus, he really likes me! Oh & I really like him too! I think I’ll say yes. Hopefully, we’ll go out & last. Last night Doug & Jaime were really close then they danced. Her head was on his shoulder! Jaime said they kissed! Doug really likes her. She should be happy I told her not to dump him! They’re a really good couple but not as good as me & Richard! When Richard & I were dancing he was really shaking. At one point I felt him pull me closer! But, hey, that’s fine with me! We danced 4 times! Once during the last song, we both looked at each other & smiled. We were looking at each other for like 30 seconds! How romantic! Also at the dance he asked me why I dumped him. I said I didn’t know. I really don’t. I think I’m gonna say yes! I feel bad for Lianna. I need to get Steve to like her but how. Steve already hates me. Oh! I need to some good in this world! Help me. Help her. Lianna & I just figured out that the last song was “One Sweet Day.” Ooh! I have that tape! I can play it for flashbacks. See ya! Krista I love Richard! Lianna loves Steve!”
Hi friends! Oh my gosh I am so sorry it's been almost a whole MONTH since I last posted! I was on vacation in St. Maarten with my Mom, sister, and sister-in-law during the second week of March and I spent the week before that preparing and packing and the week after that recovering (although I still haven't finished unpacking). Hm.Well anyhow, at least I'm coming back with a good entry!!   In this entry, I reveal that one of the reasons I broke up with Richard is because he used to say "hi" to me too often in the hallways at school. And my desired behavior for him would have been what exactly? If he ignored me, would I have been okay with that? Clearly I wasn't quite sure what I expected of a boyfriend. I wanted a boyfriend who liked me, but didn't like me TOO much.
Oh man... "Elephant Shoe" and "I Want to Vacuum" really take me back to the good ol' days. Do you guys remember those things? Do you remember any others or were those the only ones? "Olive Juice" had the same effect as "Elephant Shoe"... but that's all I've got.
--- “1-9-97. Dear Yraid, Hi! Today was good, I guess. Why do I even like Richard?? He’s not popular (he sits with Michael at lunch) & he’s really dumb. How can I like him? Jaime thinks I should go out with him no matter how popular he is. Jaime thinks that Doug & Mark like me. She doesn’t think Doug likes her! She also pointed out that all the geeks like me! Uggh! Is she right? She also thinks that Mike likes me. She things that everyone likes me. I walked with Doug to lunch today. Again Jaime & Lianna walked in front of us. Now that’s what I call friends, huh? Doug & I are like brother & sister. We tease, we annoy, we argue, but we’re still connected & deep down (way down) there’s somewhere a feeling of love and trust. Also at lunch Travis called me from his table. He said something about my hair (I had it in a whole bunch of braids before lunch). His whole table (including Jim, Ray, & Steve) were smiling at me. Ray has never smiled at me since 5th grade. It was nice to see an old familiar face again. Ray’s somewhat cute, but not quite. I mean, I’d really like him if I knew him better. In the halls Richard always smiles at me! Cheese Luweez! That’s what my problem was when we were going out. During school I saw too much of him, he’d always say hi! Ugh. Jaime asked Richard if he’s going to the dance. He doesn’t know yet. Hopefully he is! Jaime & Lianna are sleeping over on the night of the dance. I’m gonna call Doug tomorrow. Have you ever noticed that when I talk about Doug it’s usually poetic? Strange. Sabrina. RKS. I need a new diary soon!! Mouth “Elephant Shoe” it looks like you’re saying I love you. Mouth “I want to vacuum” it looks like you’re saying I want to F_C_ you. Fill in the blanks.”
   Oooh suspicious! Doug (the "dog") might be cheating on Jaime? Or rather, might like another girl? Really, was this that big of a deal back in a time where most relationships only lasted a couple weeks and most people knew the next person they'd date before they broke up with their current sig other?
Let's get down to what this was really about. I'd say about 20% of me really cared about Doug's interests for my best friend Jaime's sake. I'm willing to bet that, whether I would have admitted it or not at the time, 80% of my concern was really based in how Doug's actions affected me. It's not fair to Jaime that Doug sent Teri a Candy Gram and wanted to buy her a Christmas present. But it wasn't fair to ME that Doug claimed that both Teri and I were his friends... and I didn't get any gifts or special treatment like Teri did!
I was probably just being overly sensitive...
---
“12-27-96. Dear Yraid, Hello. Whenever I listen to “I’m Everything I Am Because You Loved Me” I cry. I don’t really think of one spisiphic person, I just think of how I don’t have anyone. It’s just an empty hole. A deep, sad, lonely hole. I wish I could fill it. I really want someone to love, someone to be there for me. Jaime says not to worry. I guess she’s right. There are lots of fish in the sea. I don’t cry when I hear “Unbreak My Heart” because that’s not really sad for me. My heart isn’t really broken by anyone- currently. Actually, the song should go “I’m Everything I Am Because Someone Loved Me”. Lianna likes Steve. She’s asking him out. I think he’ll say yes. Great! Then I’ll be surrounded by couples & I’ll have even more of a reason to be depressed! Oh well! I should move on my life! Geez! Doug is being a poopy fart head. He’s not being very loyal to Jaime. I think there’s something fishy going on between him & Teri. They sent each other Candy Grams. Doug’s to Teri said, “You SUK” and Teri’s to Doug said “Merry Christmas! Kiss Jaime soon!” Nothing weird there. But at school he hangs out with Teri an awful lot. Then Jaime said that she was talking to Doug on the phone & he said, “I need to get Teri a Christmas present still.” How rude! He told Jaime that! His own girlfriend! How insensitive! Doesn’t he know that girls have feelings? Ones that can be easily hurt? DUMB! He’ll probably claim they’re just friends. Oh? Well he says that we’re friends but I didn’t get a Candy Gram from him, I didn’t get a present. Plus, if he is just getting her a present as a friend, then why isn’t he getting his ‘guy’ friends presents? He’s rude, insensitive, & well stupid. Did I say a dog? Well, I meant to. – Krista the lonely P.S. I took a test in a magazine. It resulted that I am Overly Sensitive. I can’t help it! It’s not my fault! My feelings are just easily hurt! Jeez!”
Happy Holidays everyone!    I instantly recognized the first song as "Unbreak My Heart" by Toni Braxton. For Christmas that year (1996), I asked for Toni Braxton's and Keith Sweat's CDs because I loved the songs "Unbreak My Heart" and "Nobody". I loved them because they reminded me of Craig and Doug and Mike and all the other boys that didn't like me... or pretended they liked me just to shut me up and then dumped me after a two week limit. After I got those CDs for Christmas, I'd put the songs on repeat and bawl my eyes out thinking about how lonely and heartbroken and loveless I was. I soon grew to hate Toni Braxton and Keith Sweat. Why did I want those stupid CDs just to torture and depress myself?
A few years later, I tried to get rid of the CDs by selling them to a CD/Game Exchange store and the jerks wouldn't take them. Ugh. I think I may still have them somewhere back home. Who wants them?? Any takers? Word of warning: they will not help you recover from a recent breakup, they will only make you feel worse.
HOLD UP-- Apparently I never really listened to the lyrics of "Nobody" by Keith Sweat. Certainly Santa didn't preview this CD before giving it to a 13-year-old...
And who can love you like me
Who can sex you like me
Who can treat you like me now, baby
Nobody, baby
And who can do it like me
And who can give you what you need
Who can do you all night long
Nobody, baby What in the WORLD? Who knew? To little 7th grade me, the message of this song was simply "I'm the best person for you and we belong together." The sexual stuff was wayyy over my head. Weird.
Anyhow, I didn't recognize the lyrics of the second song. Turns out it's "I Can't Sleep Baby (If I)" by R Kelly. I listened to it and honestly, I don't remember it. Maybe if I would have asked for the R Kelly CD instead of the Keith Sweat CD, it would be a different story. As a side note, who would have thought that the sensitive and respectful-looking man in the "I Can't Sleep Baby" video would go on to create such musical gems as the "Trapped in the Closet" series and "Sex in the Kitchen"... oh not to mention that whole child porn thing...
Here are some links in case you want to go back in time and re-live those classic 90s songs...
Toni Braxton
Keith Sweat
R Kelly
---
“11-29-96 Dear Yraid, Hello. Thanksgiving was great. Really good food. We ate at Nana’s. Today I went to see “Jingle All the Way” with Lianna, Seth, Abri, & Mike. That was a good movie. Arnold Schwarzenegger was great in that movie. Mom I sick. She has a migraine & she’s throwing up. They (Mom & Dad) went to the hospital this morning. The doctor gave her some shots & she’s been sleeping all day. She says she’s feeling better- I hope that’s true. Even though Craig & I broke up (& we only went out for 2 weeks) I still really like him. So maybe I’m a little bit mad at him for dumping me, but I don’t hate him. I only want him back. I really love him. He means everything to me. I still have his picture in the heart frame by my bed. I’ve cried every night since. Just to think about how he cared & acted like he loved me the very day before- before he dumped me. Remember how he gave me that Hershey Kiss, that Hershey KISS. I wish I wouldn’t have lost it. “Unbreak my heart, say you love me again. Undo this hurt you caused when you walked out the door, walked out of my life. Uncry these tears. I’ve cried so many nights. Unbreak my heart.” Why did that perfect life have to end? And he thinks I don’t care. I don’t have feelings for him anymore. Well, I do. I do. Who could get over him? “I can’t sleep, baby. I can’t think, baby. I can’t live baby without you in my life. Don’t wanna go on baby. This is my soul baby. Don’t wanna do anything without you.” Those songs are so true. I can barely listen to the radio anymore because most of the songs I can somehow relate to me & Craig & then I start to cry. I start to cry like I’m crying now. I wish I could turn back time – Batman. Don’t ask. If you want to know, ask one of my friends.”
 "November 6, 1996 Dear Yraid, Craig was back in school today. At lunch I sat at our every-other-day-table. At our every-other-day-table, I sit with Craig, Jaime, Doug, & Doug M. Here’s how we sit: sometimes Lianna sits with us. She sits in between me & Jaime. Doug M was scaring Craig so Craig kept moving closer & closer to me. At the end of lunch, we were sitting really close together. Doug broke my lunchbox today. Craig called me today. We talked for about 25min. I could talk forever with him! But Mom doesn’t let me stay on very long. –Krista”
  Craig had such a way with words. "If you were dead, that would not be good" is pretty much the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me. Every girl lives to hear a guy say that to her one day.
I don't think I ever mentioned Ryan before this entry. That's because I didn't like him back, so he was of little concern to me. Instead I pursued a handful of other guys who didn't like me. So backwards.
---
“November 1, 1996 Dear Yraid, I LOVE having a boyfriend! It makes me feel special, appreciated and loved. Craig called me. I got his address & phone #. He has both of mine too. For awhile it was me, Craig & Doug talking 3-way. Cool! Me & 2 guys! Awesome. Me, Craig, Jaime, & Doug might go see Romeo & Juliet at Tinseltown tomorrow! Cool! Ahhhh! When I was on the phone with Craig, we were talking about me dying or something. Craig said, “If you were dead, that would not be good, not good at all.” He repeated that about 3 times. He really does like me! He knows just the way a girl wants to be treated and exactly what they want to hear. Today me, Craig, Jaime, Doug, & Lianna sat at a lunch table together. Cool! I’ve gotta go! Krista P.S. I know for sure that Ryan likes me because he admitted it twice! I heart Craig!”
Sorry guys... I promise, next time I'll write about the Saturday detention. I wrote some of it down tonight, but I want to make sure I didn't forget any details! Next time, PROMISE.
Luckily for you though, this is a darn good diary entry...    You're already familiar with how I gave myself the nickname SuperGirl in 6th grade. Of course, Doug turned that into StupidGirl and called me that instead. Jerk.
Yes, Doug somehow managed to date all my friends and not me... even though I was the one who liked him for yearsssss. First, he dated my good friend Rachel in 6th grade... and then he dated my good friend Jaime in 7th grade. Whatev. I wouldn't want a date a guy who called me StupidGirl anyhow.
“I’M NOT SQUARE! I’D DO ANYTHING TO GO OUT WITH CRAIG!” Hahaha. What?!?! That's all I can say. What?!?!
Like I said... Saturday detention next time... promise!!
---
“10-28-96 Dear Yraid, Today I wrote a note to Doug asking him if he’d go out with Jaime & if he’ll get Craig to go out with me. Here’s what he wrote back in his exact words. Dear Stupid Girl, I guess I’ll go out with Jaime. I kinda like her. I will try to get Craig to go out with you. Maybe we could double-date but last time, it didn’t work out that great. Does Jaime like me? Oh well. See ya later, stupid girl! -Doug AKA “CC” AKA Count Demorte. That’s exactly what he wrote. I didn’t’ want to put the note in here because I didn’t. He wants Craig to go out with me! He wants to double-date with me! Is it just me or does it sound like we’re friends? So now Jaime & Doug are going out! Doug wanted Jaime to call him but Jaime told me she didn’t know what to say, so I called him 3-way! Doug & I talked most of the time. We talked about our past together. Jaime didn’t even really talk at all. Jaime told me she asked Craig 6th period if he’d go out with me. She said he said he’s still deciding. Doug said he asked Craig 7th period & Craig said that he thinks I’m square. I’M NOT SQUARE. I’D DO ANYTHING TO GO OUT WITH CRAIG! I told Doug to tell Craig to go out with me. Doug said he would & he’d beat him up if he had to! Wow! Doug really wants us to go out! The 2nd time I danced with Craig, he said “hold on” & she started tangoing with me across the gym. What is that supposed to mean??? It was really weird! Oh & then, on the hayride, Craig accidentally squeezed my knee. I said, “Craig, I find that very flattering, but not right now.” Then as we walked back into school, he kept bending down & squeezing my knees! My gosh! Craig said, “Oh poo-poo” again today. You know, just to see me laugh. Gotta go! Krista I am certainly not square””
Yes, I know. I haven't written in a week. But this time I have the mother of all excuses: I was in the hospital. Don't worry, I'm fine... still recovering, but fine. To make a long story short, I had a large (read: grapefruit-sized) ovarian cyst that ruptured. I had to have emergency surgery Friday night to remove all the blood from my abdomen and to stop any further internal bleeding. I was in the hospital for three nights and am now resting at home. Phew. What an exciting Labor Day weekend, right? :P
Onto the entry!   One of the best Mondays in history followed by one of the best Tuesdays in history?! What are the chances?! How simple life was in seventh grade. Just perceiving that a boy was acting like he liked you was enough to give your day the incredible status of one of the BEST DAYS in HISTORY.
What's the deal with me wanting to touch Craig's hair? Was this a normal desire for pre-teen girls? And get this- Craig didn't even have hair that "goes like this"... he had a buzz cut! Odd.
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“October 22, 1996. Dear Yraid, Today is one of the best Tuesday’s in history. Today, Craig really acted like he likes me. In math we talked like usual. Nothing strange there. But in Math Content Lit is where it all changes… There was a really stern sub. She was really easy to annoy. The 1st thing she said when we all got in the classroom was, “You make it hard on me, I’ll make it even harder on you.” She was a real bitch. Anyhow, because Mrs. Chandler (the real Math teacher) didn’t leave a lesson plan, she gave us a study hall. Mark & Jaime (they sit next to each other, not by choice) were making fun of her, whispering & drawing pictures. They wanted me to sit with them. I told them that I probably wasn’t allowed. The real reason I said that is because I wanted to stay with Craig. But then Mark asked the mean teacher lady if I could sit with them. Surprisingly, she said yes! So because I was forced, I did. Craig noticed I was over there and mouthed to me, “Sit here.” I mouthed, “I’m sitting here.” He mouthed, “Sit here.” Then I again mouthed, ‘I’m sitting here.” Then he mouthed, “You’re not allowed!” I mouthed, “The teacher said I could.” Then he went back to his work with a frown. I really think he wanted me to sit with him! The teacher lady let us have a 10 min free time at the end of class. Craig came over to Mark, Jaime, & my table. We started talking. It was really funny, oh and fun. Lianna was there for part of the time. These 2 days have convinced me that Craig will most likely dance with me on the 25th. I really hope he does! God, please let Craig dance with me! Craig once in math said, “Oh, poo-poo!” I started laughing! Now he says it all the time, I think just to see me laugh. Well that’s all! -Krista I heart Craig! I want to touch Craig’s hair!”
WARNING: Be prepared for excessive swearing in the following entry...    Ah, more evidence of how young and naive I was. Not only did I not know how to spell the word 'horny', I also had no clue what it meant. Did you catch when I described Bryce's laugh as "hard, horney, and fake"? I definitely didn't know what the hell I was saying. I really wonder what I thought 'horny' meant at the time. I mean, I can't even use context clues from that sentence to try to figure out what I may have thought it meant. Ugh. I'm sure I was probably using that word wrong all over the place. Awkward. It's not exactly a word you'd want to randomly slip into casual conversation without knowing the definition. Oh crap. What if I unknowingly used it in school assignments? "Today in English class, we read 'The Call of the Wild'. Also, I was really horney." Well, I guess if that would have happened, my teacher would have confronted me or sent a note home or something.
Moving onto... Bryce. She caused a lot of anger in my group of friends for some reason. Remember my friend Lianna who never swore and got mad at anyone who did? Well, the first time Lianna ever swore was because of something Bryce did. I can't remember the exact offense, but it caused Lianna to be so overcome with emotion that she muttered the word "bitch" before she even realized what she was saying. To this day, I think Lianna is still convinced that if it wasn't for Bryce, she would have never sworn ever. Unfortunately, I really don't remember the specifics of the apparent drama Bryce caused in my clique... but as we've learned, it was middle school and everyone caused drama.
Which brings me to my next point: Allison. Why the heck was I so worked up over a stupid bus seat?!?! Was filling half a page with 30 "BITCH!"s really necessary? Sounds like I needed a chill pill.
    Remember cassette tapes? Those were SO 1996. Actually, by 1996, most people probably had CDs, but I was behind the times. I know I've complained about cassette tapes before, so I won't ramble on too much now... but it's still weird to me how archaic seem today. My cassette tapes will be to my children what my parents' 8-track tapes are to me. The time-consuming concepts of rewinding, fast-forwarding, and flipping a tape over are totally foreign to kids in the 21st century. And yet, possibly a cumulative hour of my childhood was spent performing those tasks. Sigh. Nostalgia.
What is this "sign from God" business? Where did I learn that? What a load of crap. If it wasn't 2 chipmunks that was the sign, I would have noticed something else odd... or I would have waited a few hours until I noticed something odd and then would have taken that to be the sign. Apparently, I didn't put much faith in God or take my religion 100% seriously at the time if my next step was to try the not-so-Catholic Ouija board.
My mom would have never let me get a Ouija board under her watch... so I went behind her back and told my friend to get it for me for my birthday. When I opened it at my party, I quickly ripped the plastic off the box so that my mom couldn't make me return it. Sneaky.
Unfortunately, neither God nor Ouiga came through for me convincingly on the Craig issue. Where's the magic 8 ball when you need it?
So I hate to half-ass this entry, but I'm just gonna be honest-- "NYC Prep" is on right now and I'm trying to watch that, write this, and get to bed no later than 10:30. And unfortunately, I'm too stubborn to budge on any of those. Have you watched this show "NYC Prep"? It's more teenage drama than my diary entries. I love it and am totally addicted to it.
Oh yeah, back to this entry...   That's probably the longest play-by-play possible just to communicate that Craig and I slow-danced. But I guess the fact that 5,000 people had to ask him to dance with me was a valid detail because it showed his original hesitation. And I guess the fact that he didn't want to dance to "Head Over Feet" is a valid detail because it shows that he actually wanted to dance to a slow song... not just half-ass it and get it over with (like I'm doing to this entry). On the other hand, the "meeting under the basketball hoop" and "shortest girl" details were pretty irrelevant.
If you know me, you know I love cheese. I have always loved cheese. My nana tells stories about me as a little girl begging "cheese please!". In elementary school, my dad used to cut shapes out of cheese and arrange them into a picture on a plate for me as a bedtime snack. In high school, all of my friends brought various cheeses into school on my birthday. For my Senior Prom in high school, I ate an 8oz block of cheddar cheese every night for a week before the dance to try to gain weight to help fill out my strapless dress (it didn't work). Before leaving for college, my dad gave me a really nice wooden cheese board/slicer. In college, my friends saved me an entire cheese tray that was leftover from one of the campus events. Just last night for dinner, I made a grilled cheese sandwich... with four types of cheese.
And apparently in middle school, my crush Craig and I discussed cheese cutters while slow dancing. I am not surprised.
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"I want my freedom"... from what?? We never saw each other outside of school, we never talked on the phone, we didn't even sit together at lunch. We exchanged notes in the hallway and that's about it.
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