Your Mom

I'm seriously having a problem understanding the adolescent mind. You'd think after reading all these diary entries, I'd be better able to appreciate the emotions and predict the actions. Nope. Apparently when it comes to girls in early adolescence, there is no understanding... there is no predicting.

Wasn't I JUST in love with Richard? Just a week earlier I was saying how cute and sweet he was. Clearly ripping him to pieces as I did in the past couple diary entries was some sort of weird defense mechanism. Not sure what I was defending myself against... but I know I didn't really feel that way.

Other things to address:
1. "Un-Rogaine"... Richard's thick hair became the object of my aggression. Why???

2. "Crimeny!"... Where the heck did this word come from? Or rather, where did it go? I haven't heard it in ages. TO THE GOOGLE! First off, I guess it's more commonly spelled "criminy". Weird. I don't like the way that looks. Secondly, YES! I love when researching old diary entries leads me to uncover other relics of the time! Turns out "criminy" was often said by Helga on the Nickelodeon cartoon Hey Arnold! Hey Arnold first aired in October of 1996, so that is without a doubt where I picked it up. Mystery solved.

3. "Your Mom"... What a great all-purpose insult this was for awhile there. I still hear it jokingly from time to time but man was it rampant in middle school. Yo Momma jokes were HILARIOUS back then. Most of the ones we used to laugh at are super-lame ("Your momma's so fat when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house"), but if you haven't heard Yo Momma jokes in a long time, I encourage you to google it because there are a ton of smart and funny ones I had never heard. Yes, lots are still lame... but I was happy to come across these...

Harry Potter:
"Your mama's so fat, the Sorting Hat sorted her into the House of Pancakes."

Nerdy:
"Select * FROM Table.YoMamma
........................................
........................................
........................................
Server Timed Out"

Literature (from Act I Scene 1 of Timon of Athens):
Painter: "Y'are a dog."
Apemantus: "Thy mother's of my generation. What's she, if I be a dog?"

I bet you didn't know Shakespeare "invented" the Yo Momma joke!

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“3-4-97. Dear Diary, I did dump Richard! I’m so happy! I feel so free. I feel like a new person! I love it! Ahh! Richard still likes me, a lot. He wrote me a note saying that we can still be friends & he’s not mad at me. At the bottom of the note, it said- I love you. I feel so bad. But I don’t care, I’m NOT asking him back out- EVER! Ugh! He is so ugly. Like I’ve said before- he needs un-Rogaine. I wonder who I’ll like next. Hmm. Jaime & Kara say that Rob & I should go out. You think? Nah. It would never happen. In SWEP, the strangest thing happened. I was talking to Doug. Suddenly he stepped forward so we were almost touching. He was looking down at me & I was looking up at him. My God! It looked like he was about to kiss me! Crimeny! You don’t know how close we were! I’ve never stood by him that close face to face. Anyhow, we stood there for awhile just looking at each other & then I said, “I could beat you up!” He said, “Ya sure, your Mom.” And then we both walked off in different directions. Do you think I’ll like Doug again? I don’t know. Mom thinks he’s cute. I didn’t ask her- she told me. I think Doug & I would be better of as just friends. But hey, you never know! -Krista”

I want my freedom & stuff

"I want my freedom"... from what?? We never saw each other outside of school, we never talked on the phone, we didn't even sit together at lunch. We exchanged notes in the hallway and that's about it.

And my alternative was Rob, a boy who I would definitely make a really cute couple with, but who may not go out with me. Hell, he may not even LIKE me.

I'm really anxious to see how this is going to work out... haha.

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"3-3-97. Dear Diary, I might dump Richard tomorrow. I'm not sure. At lunch & after I was really serious about it. I told like everyone I saw! Now I'm not quite sure if I should. I still like him but I don't want to go out with him anymore. I want my freedom & stuff. Should I OR shouldn't I? HELP. I think I've told too many people to not dump him. Ugh! HELP! Kara, Lianna, & Jaime all think that Rob & I would make a really good couple. Jaime said so even though she likes him! Agh! What to do, what to do? I'm starting to agree with them. Would he ever go out with me though? Krista"

Lunch Table Drama

This diary entry is a prime example of middle school drama. Something as simple as cafeteria seating arrangements could end friendships. Well, temporarily at least. Even though I said Jaime was taking Lianna's place as best friend, in reality, Lianna and I are still friends today and my friendship with Jaime fell out in high school. So now, Lianna and I have been best friends for 22 years... almost three times the *long* 8 year friendship I mentioned at the time in the entry. Wow that makes me feel old. But I also feel so lucky to still have best friends that I've had since elementary school. We went through all the drama together and our friendships are so much stronger for it!

Not sure how I jumped to the conclusion that people didn't like me because I had a boyfriend. Well, I guess I do kind of remember what that felt like. I felt kind of isolated because I had less in common with my friends. It was like, when I didn't have a boyfriend, I felt like I was the only one in the school without a boyfriend... and then once I got a boyfriend, I realized that actually, none of my friends had boyfriends. Which meant, no one to talk to about boyfriend stuff... and if anyone were to actually bring it up, they'd be annoying and all "ooooh how's your BOYFRIEND??? hehehehe" about it.

Of course that electronic dictionary that Richard used for romantic purposes is the same one that got me the infamous Saturday detention.

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“2-26-97. Hi Diary, It’s 7:03am. I have to leave soon. Personally I don’t like sitting with Kara, Jessie, Mike, etc. at lunch. Because they’re creeps. Mom wants me to sit with Christina & them. Tell you the rest when I get home. Gotta go. Sorry! -Sabi I’m back. Okay. Lianna started sitting with them about every other day a week ago. Monday, they had enough room at their table so me, Jaime, & Lianna could all sit there. Tuesday (Lianna’s day to sit with us) she sat with them. She said, ‘Ya, maybe you guys (me & Jaime) can sit with us tomorrow.’ First of all, when did she become one of ‘them’? Second of all, why is she so conceited? Geez, I hope she doesn’t read this! If she is reading this, then Lianna, I’m sorry for saying all this mean stuff but it’s the way I feel. Sorry! I think that is really rude of her. I mean, being my BEST friend for 8 years & then just dropping me like a hot potato. I want to be good friends with Christina, Meghan, Kristin, Leah, Michelle, Diana, & Amy but I don’t think they like me. Maybe it’s because I have a boyfriend. Well, hello? Having a boyfriend isn’t going to change my personality! Geez! I feel like it’s Lianna’s fault for ignoring me so suddenly & being so rude. But then I also think that they’re in the wrong. They’re stealing my friend, my BEST friend. Well, to bad, see if I care! From now on, I declare, Jaime is my BEST friend. Go ahead Lianna, leave me with the creeps. Don’t care about me. All she cares about is herself. SHE IS SO CONCEITED! O-kay. Today in Language Arts, Mrs. Decker has this electronic dictionary thing. Well, you can make it say stuff. Anyhow, Richard was using it. He said, “listen to this” and put the speaker part up to my ear. He made it say, ‘I love you!’ How sweet! Awhh! I read 2 notes that he put in my file server. They say like I LOVE YOU all over them. I think he’s getting annoying again. I almost want to dump him! I want to be a free woman! HELP! -Krista”

Hot & Sweaty Heaven

The dance was so magical... Richard and I were so close, he bought me a plastic rose, everything was perfect, and also Kevin was #1 on my list of compatible matches. Where did Kevin come from? Random.

In the messages that my friends wrote, the first was Lianna and the second was Jaime. The whole grandpa thing must have been an inside joke... I don't understand it now. I can't remember who code names Zeus and Marv were. I thought Marv was Doug but that wouldn't make sense because Jaime danced with him.

I'm not sure that "Still in Love" by New Edition is the best song to associate with Joanne's crush on Richard. The lyrics would imply that Richard loved her too and his friends were jealous of them. Minor detail. As we've read before, I've picked weird songs to relate to my middle school relationships too. In our defense, we didn't have the Internet back then to check the lyrics. And we were moody dramatic 13-year-olds who liked finding sad sappy love songs to listen to and cry ourselves to sleep.

For your enjoyment:


“2-21-97. Dear Diary, Hi! It’s after the dance! Lianna’s sleeping over too! COOL! At the dance I danced with Richard to every slow song. We were really close! My head was resting on his shoulder! Then he bought me a rose! It is so awesome! It lights up! It’s not real, it’s plastic. On my data match #1 compatible person is Kevin! The nose picker! Lianna danced with Cutter! Jaime danced with Doug! Christina danced with Chris! When I was dancing with Richard he kept holding me really close. Ahh! I was in heaven! I very hot & sweaty heaven! Well, here’s a word from Jaime & Lianna. Hi! Who do I love? I don’t know! - Me. To: My Grandpa. I love Zeus. I hate Marv. This is cool. My butt hurts. Not. From: Your granddaughter Randy. Joanne told me that every night she listens to ‘I’m Still in Love With You’ & thinks about Richard. I feel bad. Oh well! He’s all mine! See ya! Sab”

I hope I don't have to hang out with my boyfriend

Of course I didn't want to hang out with my boyfriend at the dance. I just wanted him to be there for the slow dances so I didn't look LAME like all the single girls. But the rest of the time, I just wanted to stand around, gossip, and giggle with my girl friends. DUH.

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“2-20-97. Dear Diary, Today Richard gave me a note. Highlights: He can go to the dance! But he just needs to get a ride. That’s about all. I hope I don’t have to hang out with him the whole time. Because I’d rather hang out with Jaime & Lianna. After the dance Jaime’s sleeping over! I hope Lianna isn’t mad. Joanne really likes Richard! I was reading a note she wrote to her neighbor. It said, ‘I really like Richard! But he really loves Krista & she really loves him. I’ll get my chance. He doesn’t like me but oh well, I’LL MAKE HIM!’ Weird! Gotta go! Sabrina.”

I'm going to LOVE being a teenager

So many great things in this entry!

First of all, I was happy and relieved to learn the "real" reason Craig broke up with me. Unfortunately, I think I interpreted it a *little* wrong. Apparently he didn't necessarily break up with me because he didn't like me... that much IS true. However, I thought he broke up with me because he could never see me outside of school. Sounds innocent enough. After all, he did say, "I couldn't see her out of school ever and that's why I dumped her." So literally, yes, it does sound that way. However, I didn't take what Mark asked into consideration. "How far did you get with Krista?" Craig's answer? "Nowhere [...], that's why I dumped her." Oops. So in fact, he actually dumped me because we could never make out or do whatever else unsupervised 13-year-olds do. Not so reassuring now, huh? Poor little naive me.

And while I didn't read far enough into Craig's answer to Mark's question, I read WAY too far into Richard's "lights are out" comment. Seriously unnecessary.

The most exciting thing of my LIFETIME was walking between two boys. Need I remind you, I didn't even have to DO anything to get the attention! And how cocky I was about it! When I read the first, "I was so cool!", I was sure I missed a letter and meant to write, "IT was so cool!" But then two sentences later, I wrote, "I was so awesome!" What are the chances I wrote it wrong twice? Oh sigh. I really have nothing else to say on the matter.

All this amazing excitement led me to conclude I was GOING TO LOVE BEING A TEENAGER! So full of hope. So wrong.

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“2-14-97. Dear Diary, I just remembered this: one day in Math (not too long ago) Mark was talking to Craig. Mark said, ‘Craig how far did you get with Krista?’ He said, ‘Nowhere. I couldn’t see her out of school ever & that’s why I dumped her.’ I felt a whole lot better about things! I thought he dumped me because he didn’t like me anymore! He’s a butt, though! On the note Richard wrote me on Tuesday the last note he’s written so far. It says, ‘lights are out!’ I had no clue to what he meant by that & still don’t. Jaime thinks that his mom came in & said, ‘Richard, hunny, it’s time for bed!’ & turned out the lights. But Monica thought that maybe he meant that the relationship is over! I sure hope that’s not what he meant because I love him! A lot! I don’t think that’s what he meant because he wrote also: P.S. WBS, I luv ya! And a heart. Plus, I’m pretty sure he still loves me! I HOPE HE CAN GO TO THE DANCE! On the way out of school yesterday Doug walked up & said something to Richard (I forget what). But then instead of walking next to Richard, he walked next to me! So I was walking in between 2 boys, one I like now & one I used to like! You should have seen it! I was so cool! I mean, attention from 2 boys when I didn’t even do anything! I was so awesome! I think I’m going to love being a teenager! -Krista AKA Sabrina.”

dickbroken

Yes, Richard would be heartbroken and 'dickbroken'. Jaime and I had an interesting sense of humor back then. I'm not sure we even meant anything by 'dickbroken', I think we just liked the way it sounded. Certainly Richard wasn't getting any further than possibly holding hands at that time... so I can't imagine we were thinking he'd actually be let down in the dick department. So weird.

“2-9-97. Dear Diary, Today the phone rang. My Dad & I picked up the phone at the same time. I heard the person on the other end ask for me. I said hi & the person at the other end said, ‘Hi Krista! Oh, this is Anthony!’ It really was him, seriously. All he told me was that he thought that I should get Richard the Nike hat. That’s all he wanted to tell me! That’s all! Then he ran outside & got Richard. He put Richard on the phone. We talked for awhile. I just can’t believe Anthony called me! I’m not going to get Richard the hat because it costs too much. Now I have absolutely no idea what to get him! HELP ME! I have so many dilemmas! I really like Anthony but if I dumped Richard to go out with Anthony then Richard would hate me & Anthony & Richard might get in a fight. Jaime says I should stick with Richard. She doesn’t want me to go out with Anthony because he’s only in 5th grade & Richard would be heartbroken & dickbroken (don’t ask). I really don’t know what to do. I have a lot more fun & a better time when I’m around Anthony than when I’m around Richard. Seriously, I think my relationship with Richard is going absolutely nowhere. So then I got this idea that in the summer when Richard & I are long over I can go out with Anthony. No one will care what grade he’s in cuz it won’t matter! The more I think about it, I think Anthony & I would make better friends like me & Doug. I DON’T KNOW! HELP ME! -ME”

TL;DR

My husband, brother-in-law, and I had a big debate a month or so ago about the term "TL;DR" ("Too Long; Didn't Read"). Bro-in-law & I maintain that it's used to reply to someone's email, form post, whatev that is too wordy... to let them know you're replying without having read the whole content and possibly to also give them a hint to write more succinctly in the future. Husband, however, still asserts that it's used to summarize one's OWN writing as a preface. So I guess you write a really long email and then after realizing it's way too long and no one is going to want to read it, you go back up to the top, write "TL;DR", and then summarize what you wrote in a few bullet points. Not sure why you wouldn't just delete the rest of your email at that point, after realizing that it's garbage... but anyhow.

So, realizing that this diary entry is 6 pages long, here's a husband-style TL;DR for you with all the most-important, most-entertaining parts...

TL;DR

• "Jaime & Rachel say that when I’m around Richard that I act like I want him to go away."
• "I never thought [Anthony] would even want bodily contact with me (don’t take that the wrong way!)!"
• In a Pro/Con list for whether to date Anthony: "CON- I don’t know if he likes me."
• "I’d hate dumping Richard for his younger, shorter best friend!"
• "When I’m around Richard, he is so annoying & I hate him."
• "If I’m reading a note from him at school, I just want to kill someone it’s so sickening."
• "Then, if I read the same note at home, I think he’s the sweetest creature on Earth!"
• Using the Magic 8 Ball for advice...
"KRD: Should I keep going out with Richard?
M8B: My Sources Say No.
KRD: Is it because of how I don’t like him when I’m around him?"
• "HOW DUMB I NEED REAL HELP FROM A HUMAN BEING NOT A PLASTIC BALL OF SHIT FILLED WITH PISS!"
• "Who do I really like? I need a sykyatrist!"

And if you really care to read the whole thing... here you go...!

“2-8-97. Dear Diary, Richard gave me a note yesterday. Here are the highlites: He said that if I want to hold his hand, that he’s okay with that. He’s probably thinking that he’s dying to hold my hand! Jaime & Rachel say that when I’m around Richard that I act like I want him to go away. They say I ignore him & act really mean towards him. Jaime says that she doesn’t think he notices. I sure hope he doesn’t notice! Today (actually tonight) we’re going to another hockey game (Otters). I hope there’s a lot of fights! I love it when they break out & start fighting! Gotta go! Krista! I LOVE RICHARD! SAME DAY AS LAST: Hi! It’s me again. I just got home from an Otters hockey game. The whole time I hung out with Lianna. Some of the time (about half) I hung out with Lianna, Joanne, & Anthony. Anthony told me that Richard’s getting me a rose, a necklace, & earrings for Valentine’s day! He told me I should get him a Nike hat. I will if I have enough money. I think Anthony does like me! Anthony is really nice. Lianna agrees that he’s kinda cute. Towards the end of the game I was at the drinking fountain. I was last in line, behind Seth. Anthony came out of nowhere (I didn’t even know he was there!) and pushed me a little from behind! I never thought he would do that. I never thought he would even want bodily contact with me (don’t take that the wrong way!)! I don’t know who I like more: Richard or Anthony. I’ll make a Pro/Con list. Here: RICHARD-- PRO- my age, cute, tall, he loves me, goes to my school; CON- shy around me. ANTHONY-- PRO- cute, not shy around me; CON- too young, short, I don’t know if he likes me, Joanne might get mad at me, doesn’t go to my school. That’s all I can think of. Because Richard has 3 more Pros and 4 less Cons, I guess I should stick with him, huh? I sure hope that’s the right thing to do. I really need some assistance, bad. I’d hate dumping Richard for his younger, shorter best friend! Richard would hate me forever! I really hate it! When I’m around Richard, he is so annoying & I hate him. If I’m reading a note from him at school, I just want to kill someone it’s so sickening. Then, if I read the same note at home, I think he’s the sweetest creature on Earth! Somehow, that doesn’t seem right at all. At school walking out, if Jaime asks me if I want to hold hands with Richard I think ‘Definitely Not!’ But then when I think about it at home afterwards, I totally regret my decision. That seems very wrong. Here, let’s use some help from Mr. Magic 8 Ball dude. KRD: Should I keep going out with Richard? M8B: My Sources Say No. KRD: Is it because of how I don’t like him when I’m around him? M8B: My Sources Say No. KRD: Is that all you can say? M8B: Very Doubtful. KRD: Would I be better off with Anthony? M8B: Most Likely. KRD: Are you telling the truth about all of this? M8B: My Sources Say No. HOW DUMB I NEED REAL HELP FROM A HUMAN BEING NOT A PLASTIC BALL OF SHIT FILLED WITH PISS! HELP ME! Someone… Anyone…! Agghh! -Krista P.S. Do I love Richard really? Do I love Anthony really? Who do I really like? I need a sykyatrist! HELP!”

Fashion Offenses

I was a terrible person. I can't believe we ganged up on Craig for only having five shirts and one pair of shoes. That's really sad! I still feel bad about it. Well, look on the bright side... at least he had one shirt for every day? I shouldn't have been one to talk though, I was guilty of plenty of fashion offenses in middle school too.

Here are some I can think of right now (1 for every shirt Craig owned)...

1. In 6th grade, I only had one pair of jeans which were too short on me because I was going through a growth spurt. It was the first time I had ever heard anyone ask, "You waitin' for a flood??"
2. In 7th grade, I reeked of gasoline for a few months because I stepped in a puddle at the gas station wearing my only pair of brown shoes.
3. Inside-out sweatshirts.
4. Scrunchies on my wrist all day, coordinated with my outfit, but never intended to be worn in my hair because I wasn't good at putting my hair in a ponytail. Also, scrunchies period.
   
5. Brassy orange hair from learning the hard way that using Sun-In on dark brown hair does not make it beautiful beach blonde.

There's plenty more... but that's enough for now. Goodnight!

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“2-5-97. Dear Diary, Today I was walking into school alone & Craig walked up beside me! He started a conversation! WOW! Then in homeroom Jaime started teasing Craig about how he wears the same shirts every day (Jaime & I started doing that awhile ago. He only has 2 brown, a Metallica, a gray one, & a denim one). So then I started teasing him too & then Mark got into it. Mark started saying that he wears the same shoes every day. Then Craig looked like he could cry! I felt so bad! I think we hurt his feelings! I’ll never tease him about that again! Then in Science I got a question on a work sheet a long time ago & he was stuck on it. I told him the answer & he admitted I was right. Then I said, ‘Craig, say I’m smart. Make me feel good!” Then he said, ‘Krista, you’re the smartest person I know. You are so smart! I am so stupid!’ I never thought I’d get that out of him! Today Richard gave me a note! I can’t write the highlights in here because I need to do my homework! Krista Hi! It’s the same day as last, just later. I felt I needed to add something. Okay, I’m not sure what I should do about Richard. When I’m not around him, I’m crazy about him! I just love him! But when I’m next to him talking or something I usually find him really annoying & I hate it! I don’t think I’m gonna dump him because I know I still like him a lot- when I’m not around him! What do I do? HELP ME! I love Richard! For now…”

Butt Munch

There are a couple ways one may interpret this situation:

1. The Mature and Rational Way - Giving Kara the Benefit of the Doubt
Kara used to date Mike. Even though Kara doesn't like Mike anymore, she is driven to tears after finding out that a good friend (Jaime) betrayed her and asked out her ex-boyfriend. Jaime should have known he was off-limits.

2. The Immature Middle School Way - What Really Happened
Kara used to date Mike. But Kara doesn't like Mike anymore, or so she says. Jaime and Mike are going out. But Jaime also likes Mark and Richard, so what's the point? Everyone likes everyone but somehow no one ever gets what they want. Everyone cries. Welcome to Middle School.

Also, before I go, I'd like to explore the etymology of "butt munch". Google, don't let me down now.

Unfortunately, I didn't come back with much. I'm sure most of us can already trace our first memory of "butt munch" back to Beavis and Butthead. Aaaand that's about as far as I got. But I did find this interesting interview with Mike Judge (the Creator of B&B) in which Judge discusses MTV's censorship of the show:

"For example butt-munch -- which they say a lot: originally in junior high people used to call each other ass-munch. So we put ass-munch in a script but the MTV standards department said no. We changed it to butt-munch and said that for about a year. Then I forgot they said no to ass-munch and I put it in there. By then they were so used to butt-munch that they didn't even notice ass-munch."

Probably the most comprehensive definition I found is courtesy of ChaCha:

A butt munch (noun) is defined as 1. An annoying person that you would like to shut up. 2. A bothersome sibling. 3. A friend who is being a jackass. It is also a stupid or idiotic person, or a person that munches on a butt.

A person. That munches. On a butt. Somehow in the past 14 years I never spent enough time thinking about "butt munch" to realize the literal, obvious meaning of the phrase. I love you, Internet.


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“2-3-97. Dear Diary, Today Richard gave me a note (like usual). Highlights: He wrote: I’ve been thinking of you a lot! At the end of his dream we were going back out. He wrote on the note: I love you! Luv ya! And XXX OOO. His friend Pete wrote on it: Richard loves Krista. That is really weird because the note I wrote him I wrote these things: I’m just thinking about you, I’ve been doing that a lot lately. I told him that Joanne told me about his dream. I wrote, ‘Luv ya’ on it. Those things are practically the same! Joanne told told me that Anthony likes me! She told me that Anthony is always saying, ‘I have to call Krista! I have to call Kasey! I have to talk to Krista! I have to talk to Kasey!’ Joanne told me he’s obsessing over us! If I wasn’t going out with Richard, I’d probably want to go out with Anthony. Jaime might dump Mike. Because Kara’s mad at her. Kara wasn’t mad at Jaime for going out with Mike until she found out that she asked him out. Kara even said she doesn’t like Mike. But apparently she does. Kara said she was crying in chorus. Like we give a damn! We don’t care about her butt munching hell of a life! She is such a bitch! She is such a freaking liar! I really hate her! I don’t know what Jaime should do. Actually I think she should ignore stupid Kara & go on with her life. She should tell Kara that no matter how long Kara cries & no matter how long she complains she won’t dump Mike. She should just blow Kara off. Who cares about her? Jaime told me that she kinda likes Mark again. She said that she kinda likes Richard too! -Krista”

8 months later...

Holy crap... how has it been EIGHT months since the last time I posted?!? I am so sorry for falling off the face of the earth! Hope you weren't worried about me. :P Things just got really crazy last year planning a wedding, getting married (spoiler alert: not to a middle school crush), honeymooning, and enjoying life as a Mrs! But I'm finally back!

HA. The highlight of the first note from Richard was that he had a dream I dumped him. Even though I enjoyed being told he loved me, his dream almost came true that day. We already know he was walking a fine line between being cute affectionate and crazy-annoying over-affectionate. But it wasn't fair to him because he didn't know that. How do you tell someone, "I know you're my boyfriend, but can you stop saying 'hi' to me in the hall and writing me notes with hearts all over it? It's annoying"?

I went with my family to the Pinewood Derby at Grandview Elementary to watch my brother compete (?). You know, whatever you call it when you have a car in the race. Clearly I don't remember... I was talking to Anthony and making phone calls on the pay phone in the hallway most of the time.

That's right, kids, PAY phone. No cell. No texting. No Facebook. Real quarters in a real pay phone. And Richard was on his house phone. It may have even had a cord. And it's possible his mom answered and we had to awkwardly ask to speak to him. Today's youngins will never appreciate what we went though.

Okay, one more thing. I don't understand why I suddenly hated Mike. Earlier that school year, I had a crush on him and even when I look back on it now, I don't remember ever being on bad terms with him. Mike and I were always pretty good friends all throughout school. Hm. Maybe I was just jealous? Who knows.

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“1-31-97. Dear Diary, Today Richard gave me a note (Duh!). Highlights: he had a dream that I dumped him! He’s putting a happy ad on announcements for me! He’s going to put it on Monday. I guessed that it was going to say, ‘Will you be my Valentine?’ Jaime told me I was right. At the bottom he wrote, ‘I love you!’ In another note he gave me today here are the highlights: All that is important really is that it said I love you. When I got home from school I called Jaime. I was so totally sick of Richard that it wasn’t funny. I was very close to dumping him. But now I don’t think I want to. I went to the Boyscouts Pinewood Derby thing. There was Anthony. I spent most of my time flirting with Anthony & his friend Cameron. Anthony is really nice. I kinda like him, but not very much. He’s kinda cute too. He has a nice smile. He acts like he likes me, I don’t know. I asked Anthony what Richard says about me. He wouldn’t tell me but he says its very good. Anthony called Richard from Grandview & talked to him for awhile. Then he gave the phone to me. So Richard & I talked about nothing much for awhile. Anthony & I are good friends now, I think. I hope he thinks of me as a friend. -Krista P.S. Jaime’s going out with Mike! That’s sick! I hate Mike!”

Beanie Babies

Yes, I'm sure that's exactly what an 13-year-old boy would want as a gift: a Beanie Baby. Sike. It's not even an argument to say that at that time they were collector's items and some doubled value in a matter of months. It's still just a cute little furry animal stuffed with plastic pellets. Why the heck would he want a Beanie Baby? Trick question. The answer is: he wouldn't want a Beanie Baby. No teenage boy wants a stuffed animal. No teenage boy wants to explain his new pink bear friend to all his Mom. And he especially doesn't want to explain it to his buddies. A Beanie Baby is probably the worst gift idea for an adolescent boy.

Girls are so stupid.

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“1-30-97. Dear Diary, This morning Richard gave me a note. Highlights: On the outside it looked like this: URAQT! On the inside, on the top margin it had this! And at the bottom it said: URAQT! A whole paragraph read: I don’t know what else to say. All I can think of is how much I like you. He has 2 cats! As a P.P.S. he wrote: Be Mine and he also wrote XXXXOOOO. Jaime asked him in Latin what he was getting me for Valentines Day. She knows but won’t tell me. I only know it’s jewelry. He gave me another note. Highlights: He thinks my middle name is cool! These 2 letters are the first letters that he wrote ‘Dear Krista’ in! See ya! Me P.S. I think I’m gonna get him a Beanie Baby for Valentine’s Day.” P.P.S. Jaime asked Mike out & he said probably!”

My best friend likes my boyfriend

It's interesting that it was perfectly acceptable for my best friend to tell me she had a crush on my boyfriend. Interesting, but not surprising considering the average length and fickleness of relationships at that age. But it's something that you don't hear too often as teenagers or adults. If a girl told you they liked your boyfriend in high school, you'd probably start a nasty rumor that she had syphilis. But in middle school, it was no big deal. "You have a crush on my boyfriend? Cool. So do I." Weird.

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“1-29-97. Dear Diary, Today in homeroom I read a note that Richard put in my file on the computer. IT said, “You brighten my day! I LOVE YOU!” It said some other stuff, but I forget. He gave me another note today. Highlights: His password on the computer is 117546. His locker number is 296 & his combo is 28-2-24. His middle name is Geoffrey. This note had a heart in each corner & a heart at the bottom with XXX & OOO (hugs & kisses) in it. At the top he wrote: URAQT (& he underlined QT). In LA Jaime told me she wrote “Richard loves Krista” on his paper. She said he said, “I know, that’s true, but we have to erase it now!” Today on the phone Jaime told me that she kinda likes Richard! She thinks I’d get mad at her for that! Ya right! I don’t care if she likes who I like (as long as I get him! JUST KIDDING!). See ya! Krista”

Beautiful

This is one of the diary entries that make me glad I kept a diary as a kid. It captures the first time someone said I was beautiful... the first time, in an age of adolescent awkwardness, that I actually felt beautiful.

Of course, it was hard to believe that anyone dressed in my mid-90's wardrobe of purposely inside-out sweatshirts and overalls (only one strap attached) would be beautiful. So of course I was surprised and somewhat skeptical, but it was a start.

Middle school marked the beginning of popularity wars and the subsequent introduction of insecurities... so this small comment made by Richard meant a lot to me. It's possible that maybe I really was just dating him "for the words he wrote"... but perhaps he was dating me for the same reason. I see nothing wrong with two pre-teens building up each other's confidence... that's exactly what they need at that time in their life... well, that is, until the inevitable breakup... Hm. On second thought, maybe kids should find other ways to gain confidence.

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“1-28-97. Dear Diary. Today I gave Richard a note that had my school picture in it. In my note I asked if he thought I looked stupid. Anyhow, this morning Richard gave me a note. Highlights: He wrote that there’s really no point to the letter. He was just thinking of me. And he’ll still be (he wrote that). This note had a big heart at the bottom & it ended with Love Richard! Then he gave me another note before 6th period. Highlights: A whole paragraph, in his words: “Of course you don’t look stupid in your picture. You look beautiful.” He said I was beautiful! No one other than family has called me beautiful. And I never really thought I was! Richard wrote me a note in my file server on the computer. I didn’t see it yet. But Jaime told me it says “I love you” in it! Here are our old seats for Language Arts. Now it’s: I SIT BY RICHARD! Know what? I’m starting to think I only like Richard for the words he writes. But then, maybe I’m wrong. Ya! I’m wrong, totally wrong. Doug called to tell me to call Jaime & tell her he doesn’t want to go out with her anymore. So I did. Jaime was really sad at first. But she isn’t anymore cause she doesn’t like him anymore. She likes Mike. The bad thing is… I wrote a note in his file server that said: Jaime & Doug sitting in a tree… etc.! Anyhow, Doug called me back for no reason just to talk. He calls me ‘Bob’. Why? I don’t quite know. Mom thinks he likes me! He’s okay. Mom thinks he’s cute. I don’t even want to think about liking him! After liking him for 3 consecutive years – I’m done! – Krista”

Love Letters

Hmmm spinning a rod, eh? For some reason I don't think Richard and his siblings had cable TV or Nintendo... either that or maybe this was just a weird boy thing to do that I can't relate to. All I know is that I don't think my sister and I ever used to "spin rods". I'm not sure I even know what that means.

Do kids who forget their lunch money really have to go lunch-less for the day? That's so sad! You'd think someone would have lent him money. But if not, I bet Richard learned his lesson and never forgot his lunch money again.

Oooh the teacher caught Richard reading a love letter! He's lucky he didn't get it taken away. This was the same teacher that caught my friend Jaime and I writing notes to each other. Jaime and I weren't in the same science class, but had the same teacher and realized that we sat in the same seat. So we decided to be super-sneaky and leave each other notes taped under the table. When I was in class, I'd write her a note, tape it to the underside of the table and a few periods later, she'd find my note, write me back and repeat. We thought we were pretty clever until one day, my tape didn't hold and the note fell to the ground. Mr. Lohse found it, had a talk with us, and we never did it again. But we did start using code names in our notes. Duh.

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“1-24-97. Dear Diary, Here are the highlights from the note that Richard gave me today! His birthday is June 11, 1983. Last night his brother was spinning a rod & it lost control & hit him in the eye. Here’s a whole paragraph, word for word: I forgot my lunch money today. So I’m not going to be eating lunch (duh!). I hope today gets better than it’s been so far. But with you around will brighten my day! This note had a heart in every corner & a little thing that looked a lot like this: XXX OOO. It had hugs & kisses inside! Awww! How sweet! Richard came up to me at my locker and told me this: He was reading the note from me in Science class when Mr. Lohse walked in the room. Mr. L asked Richard what he was doing. Someone in the class yelled out, “He’s reading love letters!” Then he had to put it away. O-kay?! -Krista”

Award-Winning

"I think this next relationship with Richard is just the start of more award-winning boyfriends in my future."

I love it. As much as I LOVED Richard and even went so far as to allude to him being my 'husband', middle school relationships were so disposable that I knew no matter how much I was crushing on Richard at that moment, it would have been unrealistic to expect him to be the person I'd be with for the rest of my life. Maybe just for the rest of that week, month, or school year-- until a newer, better crush came along. After all, Richard did only make me feel dreamy "most of the time." Certainly there'd be a boy out there that made me feel "dreamy" 100% of the time. But "award-winning"?... hahaha.

This stuff with Doug is just ridiculous. It annoys me that that I seriously thought that sharing a pop meant more than just sharing a pop. Sad thing is, I knew girls in college who still thought that way. So annoying. "Andy asked to borrow my Sociology book tonight because he didn't buy it... he was totally flirting with me!!" "I was in the pasta line in the cafeteria and Paul reached around me to get the asiago and said 'Excuse me'!... do you think he likes me!?" Ugh. Zero tolerance for that crap. Unfortunately, in middle school, I WAS that crap.

And I had a terrible sense of humor when it came to "dick" jokes... if you can even call it that. Just immature all around, really. I want to slap my middle-school self and say "grow up!"

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“ALSO 1-18-97. Hello again Yraid, Thinking of Friday night gives me the chills. It was so perfect! When Richard asked me out, most of my friends were around me. They kept saying in my ear, “Say yes!” Maybe I should’ve. Oh well. I have to wait until Tuesday. Oh!! I can still feel his hands on my waist. I wish I could relive last night! I’d do everything the same. I just want Richard again. I LOVE RICHARD! I keep having so many flashbacks of the dance. It was just too wonderful. I loved it! I’m most likely going to say yes to Richard. I know for a fact that he likes me. I wasn’t quite sure Craig liked me at all. I think this next relationship with Richard is just the start of more award-winning boyfriends in my future. I feel so dreamy! That’s how Richard makes me feel, most of the time. At the dance, Jaime & I were sitting drinking pop at a table. Doug & Danny sat down. I had already drank out of my pop can & Doug asked me if he could have a sip. I let him. After he drank a little he gave the can to me & I took a sip. That’s how good of friends we are. We’re like brother & sister totally. So, that would make me Jaime’s sister-in-law in a round-about way. Cool! Now we’re one big happy family. With a soon-to-be new person. My ‘husband’ Dick, that’s sick, I meant to say Richard. We’ll I’ve gotta go dream about Richard! -Krista I LOVE RICHARD!”