Lunch Table Drama

This diary entry is a prime example of middle school drama. Something as simple as cafeteria seating arrangements could end friendships. Well, temporarily at least. Even though I said Jaime was taking Lianna's place as best friend, in reality, Lianna and I are still friends today and my friendship with Jaime fell out in high school. So now, Lianna and I have been best friends for 22 years... almost three times the *long* 8 year friendship I mentioned at the time in the entry. Wow that makes me feel old. But I also feel so lucky to still have best friends that I've had since elementary school. We went through all the drama together and our friendships are so much stronger for it!

Not sure how I jumped to the conclusion that people didn't like me because I had a boyfriend. Well, I guess I do kind of remember what that felt like. I felt kind of isolated because I had less in common with my friends. It was like, when I didn't have a boyfriend, I felt like I was the only one in the school without a boyfriend... and then once I got a boyfriend, I realized that actually, none of my friends had boyfriends. Which meant, no one to talk to about boyfriend stuff... and if anyone were to actually bring it up, they'd be annoying and all "ooooh how's your BOYFRIEND??? hehehehe" about it.

Of course that electronic dictionary that Richard used for romantic purposes is the same one that got me the infamous Saturday detention.

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“2-26-97. Hi Diary, It’s 7:03am. I have to leave soon. Personally I don’t like sitting with Kara, Jessie, Mike, etc. at lunch. Because they’re creeps. Mom wants me to sit with Christina & them. Tell you the rest when I get home. Gotta go. Sorry! -Sabi I’m back. Okay. Lianna started sitting with them about every other day a week ago. Monday, they had enough room at their table so me, Jaime, & Lianna could all sit there. Tuesday (Lianna’s day to sit with us) she sat with them. She said, ‘Ya, maybe you guys (me & Jaime) can sit with us tomorrow.’ First of all, when did she become one of ‘them’? Second of all, why is she so conceited? Geez, I hope she doesn’t read this! If she is reading this, then Lianna, I’m sorry for saying all this mean stuff but it’s the way I feel. Sorry! I think that is really rude of her. I mean, being my BEST friend for 8 years & then just dropping me like a hot potato. I want to be good friends with Christina, Meghan, Kristin, Leah, Michelle, Diana, & Amy but I don’t think they like me. Maybe it’s because I have a boyfriend. Well, hello? Having a boyfriend isn’t going to change my personality! Geez! I feel like it’s Lianna’s fault for ignoring me so suddenly & being so rude. But then I also think that they’re in the wrong. They’re stealing my friend, my BEST friend. Well, to bad, see if I care! From now on, I declare, Jaime is my BEST friend. Go ahead Lianna, leave me with the creeps. Don’t care about me. All she cares about is herself. SHE IS SO CONCEITED! O-kay. Today in Language Arts, Mrs. Decker has this electronic dictionary thing. Well, you can make it say stuff. Anyhow, Richard was using it. He said, “listen to this” and put the speaker part up to my ear. He made it say, ‘I love you!’ How sweet! Awhh! I read 2 notes that he put in my file server. They say like I LOVE YOU all over them. I think he’s getting annoying again. I almost want to dump him! I want to be a free woman! HELP! -Krista”

Knote (get it, like 'knife'?)

Yayyy after a month of putting up with my boyfriend, I was finally 100% content convinced we were meant to be. Can't wait to see how long this bliss lasts!

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“2-24-97. Dear Diary, Howdy Shmowdy! I got a knote (get it, like ‘knife’) from Richy today. Contents: -Everytime he heard a slow song on the radio he’d remember us dancing. -That was the closest he’s ever danced to anyone. -He wrote: ‘I cant’ think of much more to say except how much I like you. I’m really, really glad that we’re going out.’ -He wrote I love you! Aww! He’s so sweet! I think this relationship is going to be great! It’s already been a month & 4 days! Remember how like when we were first going out, I found him annoying? Well, I am very super happy & glad that I didn’t dump him! I LOVE HIM A LOT! -Krista”

Hot & Sweaty Heaven

The dance was so magical... Richard and I were so close, he bought me a plastic rose, everything was perfect, and also Kevin was #1 on my list of compatible matches. Where did Kevin come from? Random.

In the messages that my friends wrote, the first was Lianna and the second was Jaime. The whole grandpa thing must have been an inside joke... I don't understand it now. I can't remember who code names Zeus and Marv were. I thought Marv was Doug but that wouldn't make sense because Jaime danced with him.

I'm not sure that "Still in Love" by New Edition is the best song to associate with Joanne's crush on Richard. The lyrics would imply that Richard loved her too and his friends were jealous of them. Minor detail. As we've read before, I've picked weird songs to relate to my middle school relationships too. In our defense, we didn't have the Internet back then to check the lyrics. And we were moody dramatic 13-year-olds who liked finding sad sappy love songs to listen to and cry ourselves to sleep.

For your enjoyment:


“2-21-97. Dear Diary, Hi! It’s after the dance! Lianna’s sleeping over too! COOL! At the dance I danced with Richard to every slow song. We were really close! My head was resting on his shoulder! Then he bought me a rose! It is so awesome! It lights up! It’s not real, it’s plastic. On my data match #1 compatible person is Kevin! The nose picker! Lianna danced with Cutter! Jaime danced with Doug! Christina danced with Chris! When I was dancing with Richard he kept holding me really close. Ahh! I was in heaven! I very hot & sweaty heaven! Well, here’s a word from Jaime & Lianna. Hi! Who do I love? I don’t know! - Me. To: My Grandpa. I love Zeus. I hate Marv. This is cool. My butt hurts. Not. From: Your granddaughter Randy. Joanne told me that every night she listens to ‘I’m Still in Love With You’ & thinks about Richard. I feel bad. Oh well! He’s all mine! See ya! Sab”

I hope I don't have to hang out with my boyfriend

Of course I didn't want to hang out with my boyfriend at the dance. I just wanted him to be there for the slow dances so I didn't look LAME like all the single girls. But the rest of the time, I just wanted to stand around, gossip, and giggle with my girl friends. DUH.

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“2-20-97. Dear Diary, Today Richard gave me a note. Highlights: He can go to the dance! But he just needs to get a ride. That’s about all. I hope I don’t have to hang out with him the whole time. Because I’d rather hang out with Jaime & Lianna. After the dance Jaime’s sleeping over! I hope Lianna isn’t mad. Joanne really likes Richard! I was reading a note she wrote to her neighbor. It said, ‘I really like Richard! But he really loves Krista & she really loves him. I’ll get my chance. He doesn’t like me but oh well, I’LL MAKE HIM!’ Weird! Gotta go! Sabrina.”

I'm going to LOVE being a teenager

So many great things in this entry!

First of all, I was happy and relieved to learn the "real" reason Craig broke up with me. Unfortunately, I think I interpreted it a *little* wrong. Apparently he didn't necessarily break up with me because he didn't like me... that much IS true. However, I thought he broke up with me because he could never see me outside of school. Sounds innocent enough. After all, he did say, "I couldn't see her out of school ever and that's why I dumped her." So literally, yes, it does sound that way. However, I didn't take what Mark asked into consideration. "How far did you get with Krista?" Craig's answer? "Nowhere [...], that's why I dumped her." Oops. So in fact, he actually dumped me because we could never make out or do whatever else unsupervised 13-year-olds do. Not so reassuring now, huh? Poor little naive me.

And while I didn't read far enough into Craig's answer to Mark's question, I read WAY too far into Richard's "lights are out" comment. Seriously unnecessary.

The most exciting thing of my LIFETIME was walking between two boys. Need I remind you, I didn't even have to DO anything to get the attention! And how cocky I was about it! When I read the first, "I was so cool!", I was sure I missed a letter and meant to write, "IT was so cool!" But then two sentences later, I wrote, "I was so awesome!" What are the chances I wrote it wrong twice? Oh sigh. I really have nothing else to say on the matter.

All this amazing excitement led me to conclude I was GOING TO LOVE BEING A TEENAGER! So full of hope. So wrong.

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“2-14-97. Dear Diary, I just remembered this: one day in Math (not too long ago) Mark was talking to Craig. Mark said, ‘Craig how far did you get with Krista?’ He said, ‘Nowhere. I couldn’t see her out of school ever & that’s why I dumped her.’ I felt a whole lot better about things! I thought he dumped me because he didn’t like me anymore! He’s a butt, though! On the note Richard wrote me on Tuesday the last note he’s written so far. It says, ‘lights are out!’ I had no clue to what he meant by that & still don’t. Jaime thinks that his mom came in & said, ‘Richard, hunny, it’s time for bed!’ & turned out the lights. But Monica thought that maybe he meant that the relationship is over! I sure hope that’s not what he meant because I love him! A lot! I don’t think that’s what he meant because he wrote also: P.S. WBS, I luv ya! And a heart. Plus, I’m pretty sure he still loves me! I HOPE HE CAN GO TO THE DANCE! On the way out of school yesterday Doug walked up & said something to Richard (I forget what). But then instead of walking next to Richard, he walked next to me! So I was walking in between 2 boys, one I like now & one I used to like! You should have seen it! I was so cool! I mean, attention from 2 boys when I didn’t even do anything! I was so awesome! I think I’m going to love being a teenager! -Krista AKA Sabrina.”

Outline

Yes, I wrote outlines in my diary. Not very good ones either. In my defense, I was probably just learning. My mom used to punish me by making me outline chapters of my textbooks. I guess that's what you get when your mom has a Masters in English. There are worse ways a parent could punish their child.

The swearing in this entry is a little intense. I'm not sure what my problem was with Monica. I remember us being good friends and don't remember ever feeling so negatively toward her. Geez. I wish we had more details on that. It was probably a good story!

“2-12-97. Dear Diary, Richard didn’t give me a note today. He said he had too much stuff to do. Today at lunch I saw Doug hand in 3 candy grams. Because he was near me, I walked over to him & asked him who they were to. The 1st name he said was me & then he started naming off every other girl in the cafeteria. Then back in the company are, Doug came up to me & said, ‘Do you really want to know who I sent them to?’ I said ya. Here’s how it went: Doug: Okay, I sent one to Rachel. Me: Why? Doug: Because I want to go back out with her. Me: Don’t even try because she will never go back out with you! Doug: Um, good cause I was lying. And I sent one to you that says ‘Fuck you, you’re a bitch.” And I sent one to Teri that said the same. Me: Oh, ya, whatever. Well, 1) if he really wrote Fuck you you’re a bitch, they wouldn’t send it cuz they look at all of them. So: a) He wrote me one & I won’t get it. b) He wrote me one, but was lying about what he wrote in it. c) Or, he didn’t write one at all. 2) He might possibly be lying that he wrote me one, but I doubt it. I think he really wrote one to me. Why? Because I know he likes Rachel. And I know he’d write one to Teri cuz they’re friends. I hope he wrote me one! Why? I’m not quite sure, I just hope he does. I wrote him one, but I wrote it as a joke. I wrote it like ‘I love you’ & stuff from a secret admirer. I HOPE HE REALLY DID WRITE ONE! Now, what do I get Richard? He’s giving me my gift on Tues, therefore I have awhile to get him something. BUT WHAT? Monica’s a bitch. She’s so damn fat & annoying. Ugh! She is so bossy! I really hate her guts! -Krista”

Gold Chain

Remember when we used to call guys "fine"? Haha. No one does that anymore, right? It sounds so funny to me now. Just as funny as "get your swerve on" sounds. The 90's were weird.

My only sources of income at that age were birthdays and babysitting, so I didn't spend a lot of money. But I'm really disappointed in myself for thinking that a GOLD CHAIN would be an affordable alternative to a t-shirt or a hat. Aw. And how serious I was! I definitely wasn't making a joke in the entry. I really thought that a gold chain would be a decent option. And maybe I could have found a cheap chain... but probably not cheaper than a t-shirt or hat! Oh... unless I went to Claire's. Ahhh I bet that's it. I gotta remember to think like a middle-schooler.

Spoiler alert (because I'm not sure I mention it in the upcoming entries): I didn't get Richard anything. It's all good because he didn't get me anything either. And all that time I spent worrying!

“2-11-97. Deary Diary, Today was an okay day. Richard gave me a note but it wasn’t very interesting so I’m not going to write its highlights. At the reflections ceremony today I showed Kasey who Richard was. She kept saying he was cute, hot, & fine! But, she likes every man on Earth anyway! Joanne told me Richard’s getting me earrings! GREAT! WHAT AM I GOING TO GET HIM! Tomorrow is the last day I can buy it! WHAT DO I DO??? Not a shirt! Too much $. Not a hat! Too much $. A gold chain? I DON’T KNOW! WHAT THE HELL DO I DO???!! HELP! -Krista”