   I'm seriously having a problem understanding the adolescent mind. You'd think after reading all these diary entries, I'd be better able to appreciate the emotions and predict the actions. Nope. Apparently when it comes to girls in early adolescence, there is no understanding... there is no predicting.
Wasn't I JUST in love with Richard? Just a week earlier I was saying how cute and sweet he was. Clearly ripping him to pieces as I did in the past couple diary entries was some sort of weird defense mechanism. Not sure what I was defending myself against... but I know I didn't really feel that way.
Other things to address:
1. "Un-Rogaine"... Richard's thick hair became the object of my aggression. Why???
2. "Crimeny!"... Where the heck did this word come from? Or rather, where did it go? I haven't heard it in ages. TO THE GOOGLE! First off, I guess it's more commonly spelled "criminy". Weird. I don't like the way that looks. Secondly, YES! I love when researching old diary entries leads me to uncover other relics of the time! Turns out "criminy" was often said by Helga on the Nickelodeon cartoon Hey Arnold! Hey Arnold first aired in October of 1996, so that is without a doubt where I picked it up. Mystery solved.
3. "Your Mom"... What a great all-purpose insult this was for awhile there. I still hear it jokingly from time to time but man was it rampant in middle school. Yo Momma jokes were HILARIOUS back then. Most of the ones we used to laugh at are super-lame ("Your momma's so fat when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house"), but if you haven't heard Yo Momma jokes in a long time, I encourage you to google it because there are a ton of smart and funny ones I had never heard. Yes, lots are still lame... but I was happy to come across these...
Harry Potter:
"Your mama's so fat, the Sorting Hat sorted her into the House of Pancakes."
Nerdy:
"Select * FROM Table.YoMamma
........................................
........................................
........................................
Server Timed Out"
Literature (from Act I Scene 1 of Timon of Athens):
Painter: "Y'are a dog."
Apemantus: "Thy mother's of my generation. What's she, if I be a dog?"
I bet you didn't know Shakespeare "invented" the Yo Momma joke!---
“3-4-97. Dear Diary, I did dump Richard! I’m so happy! I feel so free. I feel like a new person! I love it! Ahh! Richard still likes me, a lot. He wrote me a note saying that we can still be friends & he’s not mad at me. At the bottom of the note, it said- I love you. I feel so bad. But I don’t care, I’m NOT asking him back out- EVER! Ugh! He is so ugly. Like I’ve said before- he needs un-Rogaine. I wonder who I’ll like next. Hmm. Jaime & Kara say that Rob & I should go out. You think? Nah. It would never happen. In SWEP, the strangest thing happened. I was talking to Doug. Suddenly he stepped forward so we were almost touching. He was looking down at me & I was looking up at him. My God! It looked like he was about to kiss me! Crimeny! You don’t know how close we were! I’ve never stood by him that close face to face. Anyhow, we stood there for awhile just looking at each other & then I said, “I could beat you up!” He said, “Ya sure, your Mom.” And then we both walked off in different directions. Do you think I’ll like Doug again? I don’t know. Mom thinks he’s cute. I didn’t ask her- she told me. I think Doug & I would be better of as just friends. But hey, you never know! -Krista”
  "I want my freedom"... from what?? We never saw each other outside of school, we never talked on the phone, we didn't even sit together at lunch. We exchanged notes in the hallway and that's about it.
And my alternative was Rob, a boy who I would definitely make a really cute couple with, but who may not go out with me. Hell, he may not even LIKE me.
I'm really anxious to see how this is going to work out... haha.
---
"3-3-97. Dear Diary, I might dump Richard tomorrow. I'm not sure. At lunch & after I was really serious about it. I told like everyone I saw! Now I'm not quite sure if I should. I still like him but I don't want to go out with him anymore. I want my freedom & stuff. Should I OR shouldn't I? HELP. I think I've told too many people to not dump him. Ugh! HELP! Kara, Lianna, & Jaime all think that Rob & I would make a really good couple. Jaime said so even though she likes him! Agh! What to do, what to do? I'm starting to agree with them. Would he ever go out with me though? Krista"
I'm back!! I'm so sorry I abandoned you there for FIVE months but-- whoops-- life got busy again. This time, I bought a house. And houses can be total time-sucks. Very rewarding... but veritable vortexes of time and money. Wheee!
Anyhow, enough of my boring adult life... back to juicy middle school drama!
  Oh the joys of puberty. I still remember my first "Teen Spirit".
Poor Richard. It needed to be his mom's responsibility to tell him to use deodorant... not his girlfriend's! Nooo, his girlfriend's responsibility was to make fun of him behind is back and write funny pop songs on the matter.
Oh yes, this was during the phase of my adolescence where I wrote songs. I didn't actually compose music... I just wrote down lyrics and kept the melodies inside my head. If all the songs I wrote in middle school were released on the radio today, "B.O." would definitely be the one to top the charts as a #1 hit single.
I scoured my old cassette tapes hoping to find a recorded version of this song but came up empty-handed. For now, you'll just have to imagine the awesomeness until someone begs or bribes me enough to record it fresh. Sometimes I still sing it around the house to this day... AND... even my HUSBAND has been found humming it after it's gotten stuck in his head.
Before you read the infectious lyrics, I should point out that there are some parts written in black, others in blue, and some kind of in both colors. That's because the song is intended to be sung by two people so the colors represent the two parts. AND the parts that are sung together are sung in harmony. This is very sophisticated music.
Here is my masterpiece!!
  Speechless? I thought so.---
“2-27-97. Dear Diary, Richard is still kinda annoying. I’m not mad about the I LOVE U’s all over anything anymore but I am mad about his stench! Geez! He smells like a whole football team after playing a 5 hour long game! He smells so darn bad. Can’t he use deoderant? IT’S CALLED B.O. DEAR! UGH! -Krista AKA The Girlfriend of one heck of a smell boy! & that isn’t a good thing!"
"Two quiet lovers / Sitting together / Arms around each other / Loving one another. / The boy smells flowers & perfume- what a dream. / The girl smells B.O.! / (CHORUS) Boy you've got stench, stench, stench / Boy you smell really bad / Boy you've got stench, stench, stench / Have you been sittin on a bench / Boy you reek, reek, reek / Boy you smell really bad / Boy you reek, reek, reek / Boy all through the week. / The boy looks deep into her eyes / The girl remembers all her lies / Cuz he's got B.O.! / (CHORUS) / The boy leans over to be kissed / The girl thinks of what she missed / Cuz he's got B.O.! / (CHORUS) / The girl stands up & runs away / The boy hopes maybe another day / (Spoken) Too bad there won't be / Cuz he's got B.O.! / (CHORUS) / Look at those underarms / smelly underarms / look at those underarms / smelly underarms / look at those underarms / smelly underarms / Yea!"
    This diary entry is a prime example of middle school drama. Something as simple as cafeteria seating arrangements could end friendships. Well, temporarily at least. Even though I said Jaime was taking Lianna's place as best friend, in reality, Lianna and I are still friends today and my friendship with Jaime fell out in high school. So now, Lianna and I have been best friends for 22 years... almost three times the *long* 8 year friendship I mentioned at the time in the entry. Wow that makes me feel old. But I also feel so lucky to still have best friends that I've had since elementary school. We went through all the drama together and our friendships are so much stronger for it!
Not sure how I jumped to the conclusion that people didn't like me because I had a boyfriend. Well, I guess I do kind of remember what that felt like. I felt kind of isolated because I had less in common with my friends. It was like, when I didn't have a boyfriend, I felt like I was the only one in the school without a boyfriend... and then once I got a boyfriend, I realized that actually, none of my friends had boyfriends. Which meant, no one to talk to about boyfriend stuff... and if anyone were to actually bring it up, they'd be annoying and all "ooooh how's your BOYFRIEND??? hehehehe" about it.
Of course that electronic dictionary that Richard used for romantic purposes is the same one that got me the infamous Saturday detention.
---
“2-26-97. Hi Diary, It’s 7:03am. I have to leave soon. Personally I don’t like sitting with Kara, Jessie, Mike, etc. at lunch. Because they’re creeps. Mom wants me to sit with Christina & them. Tell you the rest when I get home. Gotta go. Sorry! -Sabi I’m back. Okay. Lianna started sitting with them about every other day a week ago. Monday, they had enough room at their table so me, Jaime, & Lianna could all sit there. Tuesday (Lianna’s day to sit with us) she sat with them. She said, ‘Ya, maybe you guys (me & Jaime) can sit with us tomorrow.’ First of all, when did she become one of ‘them’? Second of all, why is she so conceited? Geez, I hope she doesn’t read this! If she is reading this, then Lianna, I’m sorry for saying all this mean stuff but it’s the way I feel. Sorry! I think that is really rude of her. I mean, being my BEST friend for 8 years & then just dropping me like a hot potato. I want to be good friends with Christina, Meghan, Kristin, Leah, Michelle, Diana, & Amy but I don’t think they like me. Maybe it’s because I have a boyfriend. Well, hello? Having a boyfriend isn’t going to change my personality! Geez! I feel like it’s Lianna’s fault for ignoring me so suddenly & being so rude. But then I also think that they’re in the wrong. They’re stealing my friend, my BEST friend. Well, to bad, see if I care! From now on, I declare, Jaime is my BEST friend. Go ahead Lianna, leave me with the creeps. Don’t care about me. All she cares about is herself. SHE IS SO CONCEITED! O-kay. Today in Language Arts, Mrs. Decker has this electronic dictionary thing. Well, you can make it say stuff. Anyhow, Richard was using it. He said, “listen to this” and put the speaker part up to my ear. He made it say, ‘I love you!’ How sweet! Awhh! I read 2 notes that he put in my file server. They say like I LOVE YOU all over them. I think he’s getting annoying again. I almost want to dump him! I want to be a free woman! HELP! -Krista”
  Yayyy after a month of putting up with my boyfriend, I was finally 100% content convinced we were meant to be. Can't wait to see how long this bliss lasts!---
“2-24-97. Dear Diary, Howdy Shmowdy! I got a knote (get it, like ‘knife’) from Richy today. Contents: -Everytime he heard a slow song on the radio he’d remember us dancing. -That was the closest he’s ever danced to anyone. -He wrote: ‘I cant’ think of much more to say except how much I like you. I’m really, really glad that we’re going out.’ -He wrote I love you! Aww! He’s so sweet! I think this relationship is going to be great! It’s already been a month & 4 days! Remember how like when we were first going out, I found him annoying? Well, I am very super happy & glad that I didn’t dump him! I LOVE HIM A LOT! -Krista”
  Of course I didn't want to hang out with my boyfriend at the dance. I just wanted him to be there for the slow dances so I didn't look LAME like all the single girls. But the rest of the time, I just wanted to stand around, gossip, and giggle with my girl friends. DUH.--- “2-20-97. Dear Diary, Today Richard gave me a note. Highlights: He can go to the dance! But he just needs to get a ride. That’s about all. I hope I don’t have to hang out with him the whole time. Because I’d rather hang out with Jaime & Lianna. After the dance Jaime’s sleeping over! I hope Lianna isn’t mad. Joanne really likes Richard! I was reading a note she wrote to her neighbor. It said, ‘I really like Richard! But he really loves Krista & she really loves him. I’ll get my chance. He doesn’t like me but oh well, I’LL MAKE HIM!’ Weird! Gotta go! Sabrina.”
   So many great things in this entry!
First of all, I was happy and relieved to learn the "real" reason Craig broke up with me. Unfortunately, I think I interpreted it a *little* wrong. Apparently he didn't necessarily break up with me because he didn't like me... that much IS true. However, I thought he broke up with me because he could never see me outside of school. Sounds innocent enough. After all, he did say, "I couldn't see her out of school ever and that's why I dumped her." So literally, yes, it does sound that way. However, I didn't take what Mark asked into consideration. "How far did you get with Krista?" Craig's answer? "Nowhere [...], that's why I dumped her." Oops. So in fact, he actually dumped me because we could never make out or do whatever else unsupervised 13-year-olds do. Not so reassuring now, huh? Poor little naive me.
And while I didn't read far enough into Craig's answer to Mark's question, I read WAY too far into Richard's "lights are out" comment. Seriously unnecessary.
The most exciting thing of my LIFETIME was walking between two boys. Need I remind you, I didn't even have to DO anything to get the attention! And how cocky I was about it! When I read the first, "I was so cool!", I was sure I missed a letter and meant to write, "IT was so cool!" But then two sentences later, I wrote, "I was so awesome!" What are the chances I wrote it wrong twice? Oh sigh. I really have nothing else to say on the matter.
All this amazing excitement led me to conclude I was GOING TO LOVE BEING A TEENAGER! So full of hope. So wrong.--- “2-14-97. Dear Diary, I just remembered this: one day in Math (not too long ago) Mark was talking to Craig. Mark said, ‘Craig how far did you get with Krista?’ He said, ‘Nowhere. I couldn’t see her out of school ever & that’s why I dumped her.’ I felt a whole lot better about things! I thought he dumped me because he didn’t like me anymore! He’s a butt, though! On the note Richard wrote me on Tuesday the last note he’s written so far. It says, ‘lights are out!’ I had no clue to what he meant by that & still don’t. Jaime thinks that his mom came in & said, ‘Richard, hunny, it’s time for bed!’ & turned out the lights. But Monica thought that maybe he meant that the relationship is over! I sure hope that’s not what he meant because I love him! A lot! I don’t think that’s what he meant because he wrote also: P.S. WBS, I luv ya! And a heart. Plus, I’m pretty sure he still loves me! I HOPE HE CAN GO TO THE DANCE! On the way out of school yesterday Doug walked up & said something to Richard (I forget what). But then instead of walking next to Richard, he walked next to me! So I was walking in between 2 boys, one I like now & one I used to like! You should have seen it! I was so cool! I mean, attention from 2 boys when I didn’t even do anything! I was so awesome! I think I’m going to love being a teenager! -Krista AKA Sabrina.”
   Yes, I wrote outlines in my diary. Not very good ones either. In my defense, I was probably just learning. My mom used to punish me by making me outline chapters of my textbooks. I guess that's what you get when your mom has a Masters in English. There are worse ways a parent could punish their child.
The swearing in this entry is a little intense. I'm not sure what my problem was with Monica. I remember us being good friends and don't remember ever feeling so negatively toward her. Geez. I wish we had more details on that. It was probably a good story!“2-12-97. Dear Diary, Richard didn’t give me a note today. He said he had too much stuff to do. Today at lunch I saw Doug hand in 3 candy grams. Because he was near me, I walked over to him & asked him who they were to. The 1st name he said was me & then he started naming off every other girl in the cafeteria. Then back in the company are, Doug came up to me & said, ‘Do you really want to know who I sent them to?’ I said ya. Here’s how it went: Doug: Okay, I sent one to Rachel. Me: Why? Doug: Because I want to go back out with her. Me: Don’t even try because she will never go back out with you! Doug: Um, good cause I was lying. And I sent one to you that says ‘Fuck you, you’re a bitch.” And I sent one to Teri that said the same. Me: Oh, ya, whatever. Well, 1) if he really wrote Fuck you you’re a bitch, they wouldn’t send it cuz they look at all of them. So: a) He wrote me one & I won’t get it. b) He wrote me one, but was lying about what he wrote in it. c) Or, he didn’t write one at all. 2) He might possibly be lying that he wrote me one, but I doubt it. I think he really wrote one to me. Why? Because I know he likes Rachel. And I know he’d write one to Teri cuz they’re friends. I hope he wrote me one! Why? I’m not quite sure, I just hope he does. I wrote him one, but I wrote it as a joke. I wrote it like ‘I love you’ & stuff from a secret admirer. I HOPE HE REALLY DID WRITE ONE! Now, what do I get Richard? He’s giving me my gift on Tues, therefore I have awhile to get him something. BUT WHAT? Monica’s a bitch. She’s so damn fat & annoying. Ugh! She is so bossy! I really hate her guts! -Krista”
  Remember when we used to call guys "fine"? Haha. No one does that anymore, right? It sounds so funny to me now. Just as funny as "get your swerve on" sounds. The 90's were weird.
My only sources of income at that age were birthdays and babysitting, so I didn't spend a lot of money. But I'm really disappointed in myself for thinking that a GOLD CHAIN would be an affordable alternative to a t-shirt or a hat. Aw. And how serious I was! I definitely wasn't making a joke in the entry. I really thought that a gold chain would be a decent option. And maybe I could have found a cheap chain... but probably not cheaper than a t-shirt or hat! Oh... unless I went to Claire's. Ahhh I bet that's it. I gotta remember to think like a middle-schooler.
Spoiler alert (because I'm not sure I mention it in the upcoming entries): I didn't get Richard anything. It's all good because he didn't get me anything either. And all that time I spent worrying!
“2-11-97. Deary Diary, Today was an okay day. Richard gave me a note but it wasn’t very interesting so I’m not going to write its highlights. At the reflections ceremony today I showed Kasey who Richard was. She kept saying he was cute, hot, & fine! But, she likes every man on Earth anyway! Joanne told me Richard’s getting me earrings! GREAT! WHAT AM I GOING TO GET HIM! Tomorrow is the last day I can buy it! WHAT DO I DO??? Not a shirt! Too much $. Not a hat! Too much $. A gold chain? I DON’T KNOW! WHAT THE HELL DO I DO???!! HELP! -Krista”
  "You're beautiful, you have a great personality, you're funny, and then there's that one thing about you (which I have no clue as to what it is) that makes me like you more & more every day."
Wow, what a charmer! How could someone not like a guy who gives those compliments (especially when you're an adolescent with low self-esteem)? That is seriously romantic stuff. At thirteen, where did Richard even learn to talk that way? Women would be lucky at any age to have a significant other say those kinds of things to them. I'm just glad I appreciated him at this moment instead of thinking he was annoying like I had in other entries! What a good guy. “2-10-97. Dear Diary, Today Richard gave me 2 notes! The first one was just because he was thinking of me. On it he wrote URSoCute! 2nd notes highlights: ONE WHOLE PARAGRAPH EXACTLY IS: Joanne told me that she asked you at the Otters game why you liked me. She also told me that your response was, ‘He’s really really really cute & sweet.’ So I thought that it would just be fair to tell you why I like you. I like you because you’re beautiful, you have a great personality, you’re funny, and then there’s that one thing about you (which I have no clue as to what it is) that makes me like you more & more every day. Today I didn’t find Richard annoying one bit. I found him sweet! I knew our relationship was going to get better! On the way out of school, Mike gave Richard a note. Richard was reading it & he let me read it too. I was leaning on him so I could see the note too! We were so close! I really love him! Mrs. Decker & Mr. Jones know we’re going out. They’re butts! Mrs. Decker said we make a ‘very nice couple’! NOW WHAT DO I GET HIM FOR V-DAY??? HELP! -Krista P.S. Craig got his seat changed again! Bummer!”
My husband, brother-in-law, and I had a big debate a month or so ago about the term "TL;DR" ("Too Long; Didn't Read"). Bro-in-law & I maintain that it's used to reply to someone's email, form post, whatev that is too wordy... to let them know you're replying without having read the whole content and possibly to also give them a hint to write more succinctly in the future. Husband, however, still asserts that it's used to summarize one's OWN writing as a preface. So I guess you write a really long email and then after realizing it's way too long and no one is going to want to read it, you go back up to the top, write "TL;DR", and then summarize what you wrote in a few bullet points. Not sure why you wouldn't just delete the rest of your email at that point, after realizing that it's garbage... but anyhow.
So, realizing that this diary entry is 6 pages long, here's a husband-style TL;DR for you with all the most-important, most-entertaining parts...
TL;DR
- "Jaime & Rachel say that when I’m around Richard that I act like I want him to go away."
- "I never thought [Anthony] would even want bodily contact with me (don’t take that the wrong way!)!"
- In a Pro/Con list for whether to date Anthony: "CON- I don’t know if he likes me."
- "I’d hate dumping Richard for his younger, shorter best friend!"
- "When I’m around Richard, he is so annoying & I hate him."
- "If I’m reading a note from him at school, I just want to kill someone it’s so sickening."
- "Then, if I read the same note at home, I think he’s the sweetest creature on Earth!"
- Using the Magic 8 Ball for advice...
"KRD: Should I keep going out with Richard?
M8B: My Sources Say No.
KRD: Is it because of how I don’t like him when I’m around him?" - "HOW DUMB I NEED REAL HELP FROM A HUMAN BEING NOT A PLASTIC BALL OF SHIT FILLED WITH PISS!"
- "Who do I really like? I need a sykyatrist!"
And if you really care to read the whole thing... here you go...!
      “2-8-97. Dear Diary, Richard gave me a note yesterday. Here are the highlites: He said that if I want to hold his hand, that he’s okay with that. He’s probably thinking that he’s dying to hold my hand! Jaime & Rachel say that when I’m around Richard that I act like I want him to go away. They say I ignore him & act really mean towards him. Jaime says that she doesn’t think he notices. I sure hope he doesn’t notice! Today (actually tonight) we’re going to another hockey game (Otters). I hope there’s a lot of fights! I love it when they break out & start fighting! Gotta go! Krista! I LOVE RICHARD! SAME DAY AS LAST: Hi! It’s me again. I just got home from an Otters hockey game. The whole time I hung out with Lianna. Some of the time (about half) I hung out with Lianna, Joanne, & Anthony. Anthony told me that Richard’s getting me a rose, a necklace, & earrings for Valentine’s day! He told me I should get him a Nike hat. I will if I have enough money. I think Anthony does like me! Anthony is really nice. Lianna agrees that he’s kinda cute. Towards the end of the game I was at the drinking fountain. I was last in line, behind Seth. Anthony came out of nowhere (I didn’t even know he was there!) and pushed me a little from behind! I never thought he would do that. I never thought he would even want bodily contact with me (don’t take that the wrong way!)! I don’t know who I like more: Richard or Anthony. I’ll make a Pro/Con list. Here: RICHARD-- PRO- my age, cute, tall, he loves me, goes to my school; CON- shy around me. ANTHONY-- PRO- cute, not shy around me; CON- too young, short, I don’t know if he likes me, Joanne might get mad at me, doesn’t go to my school. That’s all I can think of. Because Richard has 3 more Pros and 4 less Cons, I guess I should stick with him, huh? I sure hope that’s the right thing to do. I really need some assistance, bad. I’d hate dumping Richard for his younger, shorter best friend! Richard would hate me forever! I really hate it! When I’m around Richard, he is so annoying & I hate him. If I’m reading a note from him at school, I just want to kill someone it’s so sickening. Then, if I read the same note at home, I think he’s the sweetest creature on Earth! Somehow, that doesn’t seem right at all. At school walking out, if Jaime asks me if I want to hold hands with Richard I think ‘Definitely Not!’ But then when I think about it at home afterwards, I totally regret my decision. That seems very wrong. Here, let’s use some help from Mr. Magic 8 Ball dude. KRD: Should I keep going out with Richard? M8B: My Sources Say No. KRD: Is it because of how I don’t like him when I’m around him? M8B: My Sources Say No. KRD: Is that all you can say? M8B: Very Doubtful. KRD: Would I be better off with Anthony? M8B: Most Likely. KRD: Are you telling the truth about all of this? M8B: My Sources Say No. HOW DUMB I NEED REAL HELP FROM A HUMAN BEING NOT A PLASTIC BALL OF SHIT FILLED WITH PISS! HELP ME! Someone… Anyone…! Agghh! -Krista P.S. Do I love Richard really? Do I love Anthony really? Who do I really like? I need a sykyatrist! HELP!”
   Did I really think I was being a good girlfriend? I would buy Richard a Candi-Gram "if I remembered." I imagined a time in the future when Richard and I were "done with our relationship". I don't think anyone was expecting to marry their middle school boyfriend, but it's funny to see it addressed so plainly. What was the point?
I like how I just casually mentioned I had safety goggles from Erie Plating as if I went there every day. Actually, if I remember correctly, I was somehow chosen to "shadow" someone at Erie Plating with a 3 or 4 other students. I feel like whoever we shadowed was a pretty intelligent chemist or something... but I was not interested. Here's what I do remember...
- Free safety goggles
- Dipping a quarter in some kind of liquid to plate it... that was pretty cool
- Learning that AC-DC can mean "bisexual." A piece of equipment had a voltage label for AC & DC and one of the boys on the tour told me the slang.
Unfortunately, it seems "AC-DC" is the only thing I learned that day. At least I learned something?
“2-6-97. Dear Diary, Richard didn’t give me a note today. I don’t really know why, but I don’t really care. He put a Happy Ad on announcements for me. The whole school saw it! It said, ‘To: Krista. I’m thinking of you! Love, Richard.’ He told me that he’s putting another one on for me tomorrow! I think that’s really sweet! He also is giving me a Candi-gram! I’m gonna buy him one tomorrow if I remember. Before I went into Social Studies, Doug stopped me & gave me a broken pencil. He said, ‘Here’s a little present!’ Then Teri said, ‘Yeah Krista, it’s his Valentines Day present to you!’ What was that supposed to mean? I’m not quite sure. Then, I was walking out of school with Richard & Doug was walking next to me but with his friends. He didn’t know I was there until I pushed him. Then he looked at me & said, ‘Oh, hi!’ Then I put on my safety goggles I got from Erie Plating today. Then Doug said, ‘Oh, cool! Where’d you get those?’ I told him & then he asked me if he could wear them. I said, ‘Sure!’ & gave them to him. Then he put them on & started running around the lobby with them on. I practically had to strangle him to get them back! I think we’re just friends. But when Richard & I are done with our relationship & if Doug wants to go out with me, I’d probably say yes. But for now, we’re just friends. Gotta go! Krista I love Richard. P.S. KC said that Richard’s getting me a rose for Valentine’s Day.”
   I was a terrible person. I can't believe we ganged up on Craig for only having five shirts and one pair of shoes. That's really sad! I still feel bad about it. Well, look on the bright side... at least he had one shirt for every day? I shouldn't have been one to talk though, I was guilty of plenty of fashion offenses in middle school too.
Here are some I can think of right now (1 for every shirt Craig owned)...
- In 6th grade, I only had one pair of jeans which were too short on me because I was going through a growth spurt. It was the first time I had ever heard anyone ask, "You waitin' for a flood??"
- In 7th grade, I reeked of gasoline for a few months because I stepped in a puddle at the gas station wearing my only pair of brown shoes.
- Inside-out sweatshirts.
- Scrunchies on my wrist all day, coordinated with my outfit, but never intended to be worn in my hair because I wasn't good at putting my hair in a ponytail. Also, scrunchies period.
- Brassy orange hair from learning the hard way that using Sun-In on dark brown hair does not make it beautiful beach blonde.
There's plenty more... but that's enough for now. Goodnight!
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“2-5-97. Dear Diary, Today I was walking into school alone & Craig walked up beside me! He started a conversation! WOW! Then in homeroom Jaime started teasing Craig about how he wears the same shirts every day (Jaime & I started doing that awhile ago. He only has 2 brown, a Metallica, a gray one, & a denim one). So then I started teasing him too & then Mark got into it. Mark started saying that he wears the same shoes every day. Then Craig looked like he could cry! I felt so bad! I think we hurt his feelings! I’ll never tease him about that again! Then in Science I got a question on a work sheet a long time ago & he was stuck on it. I told him the answer & he admitted I was right. Then I said, ‘Craig, say I’m smart. Make me feel good!” Then he said, ‘Krista, you’re the smartest person I know. You are so smart! I am so stupid!’ I never thought I’d get that out of him! Today Richard gave me a note! I can’t write the highlights in here because I need to do my homework! Krista Hi! It’s the same day as last, just later. I felt I needed to add something. Okay, I’m not sure what I should do about Richard. When I’m not around him, I’m crazy about him! I just love him! But when I’m next to him talking or something I usually find him really annoying & I hate it! I don’t think I’m gonna dump him because I know I still like him a lot- when I’m not around him! What do I do? HELP ME! I love Richard! For now…”
   Back then, I thought Richard was annoying because he gave me too much attention and said he loved me too much. Sounds weird and backwards because shouldn't someone want love and attention in a relationship?Obviously the answer is yes... but that love usually grows over a period of months and years. In this case, Richard and I had only been dating for two weeks... and the "I love you"s started almost immediately. Even though I never said it and I'm not sure I even actually realized it, I think the real problem was that we just didn't have anything in common. Or rather, that we didn't even know if we had anything in common because we never took the time to find out! One day we were classmates, the next day we were going out and saying "I love you." We didn't know any better. We just thought that's what people in relationships do. Any time we talked or wrote notes to each other... it was nothing of substance. "What's your cat's name?" "What's your favorite radio station?" Let's be honest, we didn't even spend that much time together. I don't think we talked on the phone much and when we saw each other in school, it was during class, so we didn't really hang out. We quickly passed notes in the hallway and that was about the extent of our communication.I think what I was realizing, but didn't know I was realizing, was that there was no way we could actually love each other and the whole thing just felt like an act. I was too immature to confront it... so instead I just complained about it and called him annoying. Let's see how much longer this lasts...
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“2-4-97. Dear Diary, Joanne told me that her brother is always talking about me. She says he’s obsessing over me. Before SWEP, Doug & I were standing outside the door. We were reading my note from Richard. Because we were both looking at it, we were standing shoulder to shoulder. Then after SWEP we were walking together to our next class. Again shoulder to shoulder! (Sorry Richard) We’re just friends. But like I’ve said before, I can very well see me & Doug going out in a few years. In Science I asked Craig if I could wear his hat (it was a Cat in the Hat type hat, it was Hat Day). He did that kind of moan that he did when I asked him out at one of the dances. I begged. And he let me! He let me wear it all through Math too! We’re friends. Back to the subject of Richard. Here’s the notes highlights: (Monica has this book & in it, it has a part titled ‘Stereotypes for Common Names.’ My name wasn’t in it. But Richard’s was. His name is stereotyped as ‘very good looking.’ I told him that.) A whole paragraph from his note was: About that stereotyped names thing. I think your name should be in that section of the book. And stereotyped as ‘Very beautiful & #1 on any Good Looking System that anyone made up.’ Because you are beautiful and very good looking. He also wrote Love you very MUCH!! Excuse me but he’s getting a little to into it. He’s really pissing me off! Why does he have to say he loves me every day? I don’t understand! I wish he could just write normal notes! HELP ME! -Krista I think I love Richard”
  
There are a couple ways one may interpret this situation:
1. The Mature and Rational Way - Giving Kara the Benefit of the Doubt
Kara used to date Mike. Even though Kara doesn't like Mike anymore, she is driven to tears after finding out that a good friend (Jaime) betrayed her and asked out her ex-boyfriend. Jaime should have known he was off-limits. 2. The Immature Middle School Way - What Really Happened
Kara used to date Mike. But Kara doesn't like Mike anymore, or so she says. Jaime and Mike are going out. But Jaime also likes Mark and Richard, so what's the point? Everyone likes everyone but somehow no one ever gets what they want. Everyone cries. Welcome to Middle School.
Also, before I go, I'd like to explore the etymology of "butt munch". Google, don't let me down now.
Unfortunately, I didn't come back with much. I'm sure most of us can already trace our first memory of "butt munch" back to Beavis and Butthead. Aaaand that's about as far as I got. But I did find this interesting interview with Mike Judge (the Creator of B&B) in which Judge discusses MTV's censorship of the show:
"For example butt-munch -- which they say a lot: originally in junior high people used to call each other ass-munch. So we put ass-munch in a script but the MTV standards department said no. We changed it to butt-munch and said that for about a year. Then I forgot they said no to ass-munch and I put it in there. By then they were so used to butt-munch that they didn't even notice ass-munch." Probably the most comprehensive definition I found is courtesy of ChaCha:
A butt munch (noun) is defined as 1. An annoying person that you would like to shut up. 2. A bothersome sibling. 3. A friend who is being a jackass. It is also a stupid or idiotic person, or a person that munches on a butt. A person. That munches. On a butt. Somehow in the past 14 years I never spent enough time thinking about "butt munch" to realize the literal, obvious meaning of the phrase. I love you, Internet.
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“2-3-97. Dear Diary, Today Richard gave me a note (like usual). Highlights: He wrote: I’ve been thinking of you a lot! At the end of his dream we were going back out. He wrote on the note: I love you! Luv ya! And XXX OOO. His friend Pete wrote on it: Richard loves Krista. That is really weird because the note I wrote him I wrote these things: I’m just thinking about you, I’ve been doing that a lot lately. I told him that Joanne told me about his dream. I wrote, ‘Luv ya’ on it. Those things are practically the same! Joanne told told me that Anthony likes me! She told me that Anthony is always saying, ‘I have to call Krista! I have to call Kasey! I have to talk to Krista! I have to talk to Kasey!’ Joanne told me he’s obsessing over us! If I wasn’t going out with Richard, I’d probably want to go out with Anthony. Jaime might dump Mike. Because Kara’s mad at her. Kara wasn’t mad at Jaime for going out with Mike until she found out that she asked him out. Kara even said she doesn’t like Mike. But apparently she does. Kara said she was crying in chorus. Like we give a damn! We don’t care about her butt munching hell of a life! She is such a bitch! She is such a freaking liar! I really hate her! I don’t know what Jaime should do. Actually I think she should ignore stupid Kara & go on with her life. She should tell Kara that no matter how long Kara cries & no matter how long she complains she won’t dump Mike. She should just blow Kara off. Who cares about her? Jaime told me that she kinda likes Mark again. She said that she kinda likes Richard too! -Krista”
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I'm seriously having a problem understanding the adolescent mind. You'd think after reading all these diary entries, I'd be better able to appreciate the emotions and predict the actions. Nope. Apparently when it comes to girls in early adolescence, there is no understanding... there is no predicting.
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