    This diary entry is a prime example of middle school drama. Something as simple as cafeteria seating arrangements could end friendships. Well, temporarily at least. Even though I said Jaime was taking Lianna's place as best friend, in reality, Lianna and I are still friends today and my friendship with Jaime fell out in high school. So now, Lianna and I have been best friends for 22 years... almost three times the *long* 8 year friendship I mentioned at the time in the entry. Wow that makes me feel old. But I also feel so lucky to still have best friends that I've had since elementary school. We went through all the drama together and our friendships are so much stronger for it!
Not sure how I jumped to the conclusion that people didn't like me because I had a boyfriend. Well, I guess I do kind of remember what that felt like. I felt kind of isolated because I had less in common with my friends. It was like, when I didn't have a boyfriend, I felt like I was the only one in the school without a boyfriend... and then once I got a boyfriend, I realized that actually, none of my friends had boyfriends. Which meant, no one to talk to about boyfriend stuff... and if anyone were to actually bring it up, they'd be annoying and all "ooooh how's your BOYFRIEND??? hehehehe" about it.
Of course that electronic dictionary that Richard used for romantic purposes is the same one that got me the infamous Saturday detention.
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“2-26-97. Hi Diary, It’s 7:03am. I have to leave soon. Personally I don’t like sitting with Kara, Jessie, Mike, etc. at lunch. Because they’re creeps. Mom wants me to sit with Christina & them. Tell you the rest when I get home. Gotta go. Sorry! -Sabi I’m back. Okay. Lianna started sitting with them about every other day a week ago. Monday, they had enough room at their table so me, Jaime, & Lianna could all sit there. Tuesday (Lianna’s day to sit with us) she sat with them. She said, ‘Ya, maybe you guys (me & Jaime) can sit with us tomorrow.’ First of all, when did she become one of ‘them’? Second of all, why is she so conceited? Geez, I hope she doesn’t read this! If she is reading this, then Lianna, I’m sorry for saying all this mean stuff but it’s the way I feel. Sorry! I think that is really rude of her. I mean, being my BEST friend for 8 years & then just dropping me like a hot potato. I want to be good friends with Christina, Meghan, Kristin, Leah, Michelle, Diana, & Amy but I don’t think they like me. Maybe it’s because I have a boyfriend. Well, hello? Having a boyfriend isn’t going to change my personality! Geez! I feel like it’s Lianna’s fault for ignoring me so suddenly & being so rude. But then I also think that they’re in the wrong. They’re stealing my friend, my BEST friend. Well, to bad, see if I care! From now on, I declare, Jaime is my BEST friend. Go ahead Lianna, leave me with the creeps. Don’t care about me. All she cares about is herself. SHE IS SO CONCEITED! O-kay. Today in Language Arts, Mrs. Decker has this electronic dictionary thing. Well, you can make it say stuff. Anyhow, Richard was using it. He said, “listen to this” and put the speaker part up to my ear. He made it say, ‘I love you!’ How sweet! Awhh! I read 2 notes that he put in my file server. They say like I LOVE YOU all over them. I think he’s getting annoying again. I almost want to dump him! I want to be a free woman! HELP! -Krista”
  Okay, if you had trouble following that, the "D's" were our family friends who lived next door to the "F's" (Mike's family). Jessie's family lived behind the "D's" so all three of their families were pretty good friends. Make sense?
I'm not sure if the topic of CCD came up in my diary entries before, but in case it didn't... CCD = Catechism... the classes we little Catholic kids had to go to every Sunday to learn about our faith. Some folks called it Sunday School. My friends here in Ohio called it PSR. I have no idea what all those acronyms stand for and I have no idea whether there's a difference between the teachings. I'm guessing they're all the same.
I love how Jessie flat-out told me that Mike agreed "hell no" to going out with me and my reaction was... "I might ask him out tomorrow." Gotta love my resilience.
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“11-24-96 Dear Yraid, Today I went over to the D’s for Kory’s B-Day party. Their whole family was over & we were going to have a big dinner. They ran out of room in their refrigerator so they had to keep some of their food in the F’s fridge. Ashleigh & I went over there to put milk in their fridge. Mike was home alone. And Jessie & her friend were over. We stayed & talked with Mike, Jessie, & that girl for about a half hour. It was heaven, pure heaven. Mike ripped on Rachel some of the time. Then we had to leave. At CCD, Jessie told me Mike told her that I asked him out. She said that she said then, “Hell no!” Jessie said hell no to us going out. She said Mike said, “I know” or something. Did he really mean it or was he just saying that? I might ask him out tomorrow. –Krista I LIKE MIKE. DOES HE LIKE ME?”
   Last time, my life was "so confused" and now it's "so deformed." Haha what interesting words to describe LIFE.
So let's get this straight:- Even though Mike is really immature and dating him could hurt my 'rep', now I like him... mostly because he offered to dance with me when I cried over Craig.
- But Kara likes Mike too... and he danced with her to stop her from crying too.
- AND Mike is currently going out with Rachel but is breaking up with her soon.
Where the hell was Rachel during all of this???
Poor Ryan. He liked me so much and I was so mean to him. I was far meaner to him than Doug or any of my other crushes were to me. It probably took him half the dance just to get the courage to ask me and then when he did, I always turned him down. One time when he nervously asked me to dance, I ran away, arms flailing, claiming I was a lesbian. Back then, homosexuality was a new and mostly foreign concept to me... "No! I'm a lesbian!" was about as reasonable of an excuse as "No! I'm a Jehovah's Witness!" or "No! I have Restless Leg Syndrome!" (meaning I could somehow tie my minimal knowledge on any of these things to a reason why I couldn't dance with a guy).
I wonder if I ever wrote him that note. I wonder if he ever knew how bad I felt afterward or how guilty I still feel to this day. I'm glad I'm not as big of a bitch anymore. At least I don't think I am?
Of course, I can't end this entry without calling attention to my "really depressful weekend" comment. Haha.
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“11-23-96 Dear Yraid, My birthday party wuz fun but I’ll tell you about that later. DANCE. Worst dance in history! I cried over Craig when ‘I Swear’ came on. Then Mike asked me what was wrong. I said nothing but then he wanted to dance with me (so I’d feel better) before I could say yes, the song was over. Then Kara was crying. Kara likes Mike & Mike danced with her so she wouldn’t cry. Mike was hanging around me for the rest of the dance. He was showing off for me! Does he like me? Well, at that moment, I realized I like Mike. He’s dumping Rachel. I want to go out with Mike! I really like him! Most people think he’s really immature & sometimes he can be. But I found at the dance the other side of Mike. The sweet, considerate side. He’s totally different when he’s not around Jessie. See, if I go out with him, a lot of people will think I’m stupid. Kara will be mad at me & Rachel might be mad at me. I really like him but will it hurt my rep? I know he’s not bad, but most people think he’s a jerk. I’d be much better off with Craig, Ray (if I liked him), or even Doug (if I liked him). I still like Craig a little though. My life is so deformed. It’s a puzzle, just the pieces are scattered. Most of them shaped like a broken heart, my broken heart. I need some reason, sense, I need to be led down the right path. God can you help me? I’m just really confused & I believe this is going to be a really depressful weekend. Something that also ruined the dance was Ryan asked me to dance. I refused. I must have made him feel like shit. I’m crying! I never meant for this to happen! I promise that I will dance with him at the next dance. I have to write him an apology letter. I’m going to. –Krista I HEART MIKE & CRAIG!”
WARNING: Be prepared for excessive swearing in the following entry...    Ah, more evidence of how young and naive I was. Not only did I not know how to spell the word 'horny', I also had no clue what it meant. Did you catch when I described Bryce's laugh as "hard, horney, and fake"? I definitely didn't know what the hell I was saying. I really wonder what I thought 'horny' meant at the time. I mean, I can't even use context clues from that sentence to try to figure out what I may have thought it meant. Ugh. I'm sure I was probably using that word wrong all over the place. Awkward. It's not exactly a word you'd want to randomly slip into casual conversation without knowing the definition. Oh crap. What if I unknowingly used it in school assignments? "Today in English class, we read 'The Call of the Wild'. Also, I was really horney." Well, I guess if that would have happened, my teacher would have confronted me or sent a note home or something.
Moving onto... Bryce. She caused a lot of anger in my group of friends for some reason. Remember my friend Lianna who never swore and got mad at anyone who did? Well, the first time Lianna ever swore was because of something Bryce did. I can't remember the exact offense, but it caused Lianna to be so overcome with emotion that she muttered the word "bitch" before she even realized what she was saying. To this day, I think Lianna is still convinced that if it wasn't for Bryce, she would have never sworn ever. Unfortunately, I really don't remember the specifics of the apparent drama Bryce caused in my clique... but as we've learned, it was middle school and everyone caused drama.
Which brings me to my next point: Allison. Why the heck was I so worked up over a stupid bus seat?!?! Was filling half a page with 30 "BITCH!"s really necessary? Sounds like I needed a chill pill.
So I hate to half-ass this entry, but I'm just gonna be honest-- "NYC Prep" is on right now and I'm trying to watch that, write this, and get to bed no later than 10:30. And unfortunately, I'm too stubborn to budge on any of those. Have you watched this show "NYC Prep"? It's more teenage drama than my diary entries. I love it and am totally addicted to it.
Oh yeah, back to this entry...   That's probably the longest play-by-play possible just to communicate that Craig and I slow-danced. But I guess the fact that 5,000 people had to ask him to dance with me was a valid detail because it showed his original hesitation. And I guess the fact that he didn't want to dance to "Head Over Feet" is a valid detail because it shows that he actually wanted to dance to a slow song... not just half-ass it and get it over with (like I'm doing to this entry). On the other hand, the "meeting under the basketball hoop" and "shortest girl" details were pretty irrelevant.
If you know me, you know I love cheese. I have always loved cheese. My nana tells stories about me as a little girl begging "cheese please!". In elementary school, my dad used to cut shapes out of cheese and arrange them into a picture on a plate for me as a bedtime snack. In high school, all of my friends brought various cheeses into school on my birthday. For my Senior Prom in high school, I ate an 8oz block of cheddar cheese every night for a week before the dance to try to gain weight to help fill out my strapless dress (it didn't work). Before leaving for college, my dad gave me a really nice wooden cheese board/slicer. In college, my friends saved me an entire cheese tray that was leftover from one of the campus events. Just last night for dinner, I made a grilled cheese sandwich... with four types of cheese.
And apparently in middle school, my crush Craig and I discussed cheese cutters while slow dancing. I am not surprised.
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This diary entry is a prime example of middle school drama. Something as simple as cafeteria seating arrangements could end friendships. Well, temporarily at least. Even though I said Jaime was taking Lianna's place as best friend, in reality, Lianna and I are still friends today and my friendship with Jaime fell out in high school. So now, Lianna and I have been best friends for 22 years... almost three times the *long* 8 year friendship I mentioned at the time in the entry. Wow that makes me feel old. But I also feel so lucky to still have best friends that I've had since elementary school. We went through all the drama together and our friendships are so much stronger for it!
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