    This diary entry is a prime example of middle school drama. Something as simple as cafeteria seating arrangements could end friendships. Well, temporarily at least. Even though I said Jaime was taking Lianna's place as best friend, in reality, Lianna and I are still friends today and my friendship with Jaime fell out in high school. So now, Lianna and I have been best friends for 22 years... almost three times the *long* 8 year friendship I mentioned at the time in the entry. Wow that makes me feel old. But I also feel so lucky to still have best friends that I've had since elementary school. We went through all the drama together and our friendships are so much stronger for it!
Not sure how I jumped to the conclusion that people didn't like me because I had a boyfriend. Well, I guess I do kind of remember what that felt like. I felt kind of isolated because I had less in common with my friends. It was like, when I didn't have a boyfriend, I felt like I was the only one in the school without a boyfriend... and then once I got a boyfriend, I realized that actually, none of my friends had boyfriends. Which meant, no one to talk to about boyfriend stuff... and if anyone were to actually bring it up, they'd be annoying and all "ooooh how's your BOYFRIEND??? hehehehe" about it.
Of course that electronic dictionary that Richard used for romantic purposes is the same one that got me the infamous Saturday detention.
---
“2-26-97. Hi Diary, It’s 7:03am. I have to leave soon. Personally I don’t like sitting with Kara, Jessie, Mike, etc. at lunch. Because they’re creeps. Mom wants me to sit with Christina & them. Tell you the rest when I get home. Gotta go. Sorry! -Sabi I’m back. Okay. Lianna started sitting with them about every other day a week ago. Monday, they had enough room at their table so me, Jaime, & Lianna could all sit there. Tuesday (Lianna’s day to sit with us) she sat with them. She said, ‘Ya, maybe you guys (me & Jaime) can sit with us tomorrow.’ First of all, when did she become one of ‘them’? Second of all, why is she so conceited? Geez, I hope she doesn’t read this! If she is reading this, then Lianna, I’m sorry for saying all this mean stuff but it’s the way I feel. Sorry! I think that is really rude of her. I mean, being my BEST friend for 8 years & then just dropping me like a hot potato. I want to be good friends with Christina, Meghan, Kristin, Leah, Michelle, Diana, & Amy but I don’t think they like me. Maybe it’s because I have a boyfriend. Well, hello? Having a boyfriend isn’t going to change my personality! Geez! I feel like it’s Lianna’s fault for ignoring me so suddenly & being so rude. But then I also think that they’re in the wrong. They’re stealing my friend, my BEST friend. Well, to bad, see if I care! From now on, I declare, Jaime is my BEST friend. Go ahead Lianna, leave me with the creeps. Don’t care about me. All she cares about is herself. SHE IS SO CONCEITED! O-kay. Today in Language Arts, Mrs. Decker has this electronic dictionary thing. Well, you can make it say stuff. Anyhow, Richard was using it. He said, “listen to this” and put the speaker part up to my ear. He made it say, ‘I love you!’ How sweet! Awhh! I read 2 notes that he put in my file server. They say like I LOVE YOU all over them. I think he’s getting annoying again. I almost want to dump him! I want to be a free woman! HELP! -Krista”
  
There are a couple ways one may interpret this situation:
1. The Mature and Rational Way - Giving Kara the Benefit of the Doubt
Kara used to date Mike. Even though Kara doesn't like Mike anymore, she is driven to tears after finding out that a good friend (Jaime) betrayed her and asked out her ex-boyfriend. Jaime should have known he was off-limits. 2. The Immature Middle School Way - What Really Happened
Kara used to date Mike. But Kara doesn't like Mike anymore, or so she says. Jaime and Mike are going out. But Jaime also likes Mark and Richard, so what's the point? Everyone likes everyone but somehow no one ever gets what they want. Everyone cries. Welcome to Middle School.
Also, before I go, I'd like to explore the etymology of "butt munch". Google, don't let me down now.
Unfortunately, I didn't come back with much. I'm sure most of us can already trace our first memory of "butt munch" back to Beavis and Butthead. Aaaand that's about as far as I got. But I did find this interesting interview with Mike Judge (the Creator of B&B) in which Judge discusses MTV's censorship of the show:
"For example butt-munch -- which they say a lot: originally in junior high people used to call each other ass-munch. So we put ass-munch in a script but the MTV standards department said no. We changed it to butt-munch and said that for about a year. Then I forgot they said no to ass-munch and I put it in there. By then they were so used to butt-munch that they didn't even notice ass-munch." Probably the most comprehensive definition I found is courtesy of ChaCha:
A butt munch (noun) is defined as 1. An annoying person that you would like to shut up. 2. A bothersome sibling. 3. A friend who is being a jackass. It is also a stupid or idiotic person, or a person that munches on a butt. A person. That munches. On a butt. Somehow in the past 14 years I never spent enough time thinking about "butt munch" to realize the literal, obvious meaning of the phrase. I love you, Internet.
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“2-3-97. Dear Diary, Today Richard gave me a note (like usual). Highlights: He wrote: I’ve been thinking of you a lot! At the end of his dream we were going back out. He wrote on the note: I love you! Luv ya! And XXX OOO. His friend Pete wrote on it: Richard loves Krista. That is really weird because the note I wrote him I wrote these things: I’m just thinking about you, I’ve been doing that a lot lately. I told him that Joanne told me about his dream. I wrote, ‘Luv ya’ on it. Those things are practically the same! Joanne told told me that Anthony likes me! She told me that Anthony is always saying, ‘I have to call Krista! I have to call Kasey! I have to talk to Krista! I have to talk to Kasey!’ Joanne told me he’s obsessing over us! If I wasn’t going out with Richard, I’d probably want to go out with Anthony. Jaime might dump Mike. Because Kara’s mad at her. Kara wasn’t mad at Jaime for going out with Mike until she found out that she asked him out. Kara even said she doesn’t like Mike. But apparently she does. Kara said she was crying in chorus. Like we give a damn! We don’t care about her butt munching hell of a life! She is such a bitch! She is such a freaking liar! I really hate her! I don’t know what Jaime should do. Actually I think she should ignore stupid Kara & go on with her life. She should tell Kara that no matter how long Kara cries & no matter how long she complains she won’t dump Mike. She should just blow Kara off. Who cares about her? Jaime told me that she kinda likes Mark again. She said that she kinda likes Richard too! -Krista”
Holy crap... how has it been EIGHT months since the last time I posted?!? I am so sorry for falling off the face of the earth! Hope you weren't worried about me. :P Things just got really crazy last year planning a wedding, getting married (spoiler alert: not to a middle school crush), honeymooning, and enjoying life as a Mrs! But I'm finally back!    HA. The highlight of the first note from Richard was that he had a dream I dumped him. Even though I enjoyed being told he loved me, his dream almost came true that day. We already know he was walking a fine line between being cute affectionate and crazy-annoying over-affectionate. But it wasn't fair to him because he didn't know that. How do you tell someone, "I know you're my boyfriend, but can you stop saying 'hi' to me in the hall and writing me notes with hearts all over it? It's annoying"?
I went with my family to the Pinewood Derby at Grandview Elementary to watch my brother compete (?). You know, whatever you call it when you have a car in the race. Clearly I don't remember... I was talking to Anthony and making phone calls on the pay phone in the hallway most of the time.
That's right, kids, PAY phone. No cell. No texting. No Facebook. Real quarters in a real pay phone. And Richard was on his house phone. It may have even had a cord. And it's possible his mom answered and we had to awkwardly ask to speak to him. Today's youngins will never appreciate what we went though.
Okay, one more thing. I don't understand why I suddenly hated Mike. Earlier that school year, I had a crush on him and even when I look back on it now, I don't remember ever being on bad terms with him. Mike and I were always pretty good friends all throughout school. Hm. Maybe I was just jealous? Who knows.---
“1-31-97. Dear Diary, Today Richard gave me a note (Duh!). Highlights: he had a dream that I dumped him! He’s putting a happy ad on announcements for me! He’s going to put it on Monday. I guessed that it was going to say, ‘Will you be my Valentine?’ Jaime told me I was right. At the bottom he wrote, ‘I love you!’ In another note he gave me today here are the highlights: All that is important really is that it said I love you. When I got home from school I called Jaime. I was so totally sick of Richard that it wasn’t funny. I was very close to dumping him. But now I don’t think I want to. I went to the Boyscouts Pinewood Derby thing. There was Anthony. I spent most of my time flirting with Anthony & his friend Cameron. Anthony is really nice. I kinda like him, but not very much. He’s kinda cute too. He has a nice smile. He acts like he likes me, I don’t know. I asked Anthony what Richard says about me. He wouldn’t tell me but he says its very good. Anthony called Richard from Grandview & talked to him for awhile. Then he gave the phone to me. So Richard & I talked about nothing much for awhile. Anthony & I are good friends now, I think. I hope he thinks of me as a friend. -Krista P.S. Jaime’s going out with Mike! That’s sick! I hate Mike!”
   This is one of the diary entries that make me glad I kept a diary as a kid. It captures the first time someone said I was beautiful... the first time, in an age of adolescent awkwardness, that I actually felt beautiful.
Of course, it was hard to believe that anyone dressed in my mid-90's wardrobe of purposely inside-out sweatshirts and overalls (only one strap attached) would be beautiful. So of course I was surprised and somewhat skeptical, but it was a start.
Middle school marked the beginning of popularity wars and the subsequent introduction of insecurities... so this small comment made by Richard meant a lot to me. It's possible that maybe I really was just dating him "for the words he wrote"... but perhaps he was dating me for the same reason. I see nothing wrong with two pre-teens building up each other's confidence... that's exactly what they need at that time in their life... well, that is, until the inevitable breakup... Hm. On second thought, maybe kids should find other ways to gain confidence.
---
“1-28-97. Dear Diary. Today I gave Richard a note that had my school picture in it. In my note I asked if he thought I looked stupid. Anyhow, this morning Richard gave me a note. Highlights: He wrote that there’s really no point to the letter. He was just thinking of me. And he’ll still be (he wrote that). This note had a big heart at the bottom & it ended with Love Richard! Then he gave me another note before 6th period. Highlights: A whole paragraph, in his words: “Of course you don’t look stupid in your picture. You look beautiful.” He said I was beautiful! No one other than family has called me beautiful. And I never really thought I was! Richard wrote me a note in my file server on the computer. I didn’t see it yet. But Jaime told me it says “I love you” in it! Here are our old seats for Language Arts. Now it’s: I SIT BY RICHARD! Know what? I’m starting to think I only like Richard for the words he writes. But then, maybe I’m wrong. Ya! I’m wrong, totally wrong. Doug called to tell me to call Jaime & tell her he doesn’t want to go out with her anymore. So I did. Jaime was really sad at first. But she isn’t anymore cause she doesn’t like him anymore. She likes Mike. The bad thing is… I wrote a note in his file server that said: Jaime & Doug sitting in a tree… etc.! Anyhow, Doug called me back for no reason just to talk. He calls me ‘Bob’. Why? I don’t quite know. Mom thinks he likes me! He’s okay. Mom thinks he’s cute. I don’t even want to think about liking him! After liking him for 3 consecutive years – I’m done! – Krista”
Hi friends! Oh my gosh I am so sorry it's been almost a whole MONTH since I last posted! I was on vacation in St. Maarten with my Mom, sister, and sister-in-law during the second week of March and I spent the week before that preparing and packing and the week after that recovering (although I still haven't finished unpacking). Hm.Well anyhow, at least I'm coming back with a good entry!!   In this entry, I reveal that one of the reasons I broke up with Richard is because he used to say "hi" to me too often in the hallways at school. And my desired behavior for him would have been what exactly? If he ignored me, would I have been okay with that? Clearly I wasn't quite sure what I expected of a boyfriend. I wanted a boyfriend who liked me, but didn't like me TOO much.
Oh man... "Elephant Shoe" and "I Want to Vacuum" really take me back to the good ol' days. Do you guys remember those things? Do you remember any others or were those the only ones? "Olive Juice" had the same effect as "Elephant Shoe"... but that's all I've got.
--- “1-9-97. Dear Yraid, Hi! Today was good, I guess. Why do I even like Richard?? He’s not popular (he sits with Michael at lunch) & he’s really dumb. How can I like him? Jaime thinks I should go out with him no matter how popular he is. Jaime thinks that Doug & Mark like me. She doesn’t think Doug likes her! She also pointed out that all the geeks like me! Uggh! Is she right? She also thinks that Mike likes me. She things that everyone likes me. I walked with Doug to lunch today. Again Jaime & Lianna walked in front of us. Now that’s what I call friends, huh? Doug & I are like brother & sister. We tease, we annoy, we argue, but we’re still connected & deep down (way down) there’s somewhere a feeling of love and trust. Also at lunch Travis called me from his table. He said something about my hair (I had it in a whole bunch of braids before lunch). His whole table (including Jim, Ray, & Steve) were smiling at me. Ray has never smiled at me since 5th grade. It was nice to see an old familiar face again. Ray’s somewhat cute, but not quite. I mean, I’d really like him if I knew him better. In the halls Richard always smiles at me! Cheese Luweez! That’s what my problem was when we were going out. During school I saw too much of him, he’d always say hi! Ugh. Jaime asked Richard if he’s going to the dance. He doesn’t know yet. Hopefully he is! Jaime & Lianna are sleeping over on the night of the dance. I’m gonna call Doug tomorrow. Have you ever noticed that when I talk about Doug it’s usually poetic? Strange. Sabrina. RKS. I need a new diary soon!! Mouth “Elephant Shoe” it looks like you’re saying I love you. Mouth “I want to vacuum” it looks like you’re saying I want to F_C_ you. Fill in the blanks.”
 Before I start, there's probably two things you're wondering about. First of all, I used to write the names of all the guys I liked in the back of my diary... so that's what I meant when I said I didn't like Richard "enough to write his name in the back". Secondly, I guess I went through a phase when I called myself "Batman". Yes, I had moved on from Supergirl to Batman. I don't understand or remember why.
Okay, now that that's out of the way...
I'll leave Craig something in my will??? Where did that come from? What does that even mean? I like him, I want him back... so I'll leave him something in my will. That will SURELY win him over... once I'm dead. WTF?
And then Mike and Kara started dating and I gave up on Mike just like that. I guess I must not have liked him that much after all. Well, clearly, considering my only basis for liking him was that he was nice to me at the dance.
I first met Richard in 4th grade when my math teacher introduced him to the class. As the new kid, he was a big deal because he had just moved from Australia which meant two things:
- Since Australia's seasons are opposite ours, he was on summer break from school back in Australia but when he moved here, had to start up classes right away, cutting his vacation short. Bummer.
- He had a cool accent. Which was super rare in our town. That is, unless you count the kid in 7th grade that my friend Jaime said had a cute accent, but I didn't have the heart to tell her that really, he just had a speech impediment and couldn't say his r's.
Anyhow, when Richard was introduced to us in 4th grade, show-and-tell-style, my friend Stephanie whispered to me, "Ohmygosh, his accent is soooo sexy." I was like, "Um, yeah. It sure is!" Yeah right, I was 10 years old, I didn't know what the hell "sexy" was. Nothing was "sexy" to me. I couldn't have described "sexy" at that age if you would have asked me to. But I just played along because I figured if she used that word, she must have known what she was talking about.
Three years later, even though Richard's Australian accent was long gone, I was starting to see the attraction. I still wouldn't have used the word "sexy", but instead "slightly cute and funny".
---
“11-27-96 Dear Yraid, The day after I wrote this entry I couldn’t ask Mike out. Why? Because he asked Kara out. They’ve been going out since then. I don’t like Mike anymore. I still love Craig. I want him back. I need him back. I’ll leave him something in my will. Okay? Anyhow, I want to ask him out again but I don’t want to beg. We’ve been pretty good friends since the breakup. I HEART CRAIG! I kinda like Richard. He’s slightly cute & he’s funny. I don’t like him enough to write his name in the back. He might be too weird for me though. I noticed today that his first and last initials are the same as Riders! Maybe we’re destined for each other! -Batman”
  Okay, if you had trouble following that, the "D's" were our family friends who lived next door to the "F's" (Mike's family). Jessie's family lived behind the "D's" so all three of their families were pretty good friends. Make sense?
I'm not sure if the topic of CCD came up in my diary entries before, but in case it didn't... CCD = Catechism... the classes we little Catholic kids had to go to every Sunday to learn about our faith. Some folks called it Sunday School. My friends here in Ohio called it PSR. I have no idea what all those acronyms stand for and I have no idea whether there's a difference between the teachings. I'm guessing they're all the same.
I love how Jessie flat-out told me that Mike agreed "hell no" to going out with me and my reaction was... "I might ask him out tomorrow." Gotta love my resilience.
---
“11-24-96 Dear Yraid, Today I went over to the D’s for Kory’s B-Day party. Their whole family was over & we were going to have a big dinner. They ran out of room in their refrigerator so they had to keep some of their food in the F’s fridge. Ashleigh & I went over there to put milk in their fridge. Mike was home alone. And Jessie & her friend were over. We stayed & talked with Mike, Jessie, & that girl for about a half hour. It was heaven, pure heaven. Mike ripped on Rachel some of the time. Then we had to leave. At CCD, Jessie told me Mike told her that I asked him out. She said that she said then, “Hell no!” Jessie said hell no to us going out. She said Mike said, “I know” or something. Did he really mean it or was he just saying that? I might ask him out tomorrow. –Krista I LIKE MIKE. DOES HE LIKE ME?”
   Last time, my life was "so confused" and now it's "so deformed." Haha what interesting words to describe LIFE.
So let's get this straight:- Even though Mike is really immature and dating him could hurt my 'rep', now I like him... mostly because he offered to dance with me when I cried over Craig.
- But Kara likes Mike too... and he danced with her to stop her from crying too.
- AND Mike is currently going out with Rachel but is breaking up with her soon.
Where the hell was Rachel during all of this???
Poor Ryan. He liked me so much and I was so mean to him. I was far meaner to him than Doug or any of my other crushes were to me. It probably took him half the dance just to get the courage to ask me and then when he did, I always turned him down. One time when he nervously asked me to dance, I ran away, arms flailing, claiming I was a lesbian. Back then, homosexuality was a new and mostly foreign concept to me... "No! I'm a lesbian!" was about as reasonable of an excuse as "No! I'm a Jehovah's Witness!" or "No! I have Restless Leg Syndrome!" (meaning I could somehow tie my minimal knowledge on any of these things to a reason why I couldn't dance with a guy).
I wonder if I ever wrote him that note. I wonder if he ever knew how bad I felt afterward or how guilty I still feel to this day. I'm glad I'm not as big of a bitch anymore. At least I don't think I am?
Of course, I can't end this entry without calling attention to my "really depressful weekend" comment. Haha.
---
“11-23-96 Dear Yraid, My birthday party wuz fun but I’ll tell you about that later. DANCE. Worst dance in history! I cried over Craig when ‘I Swear’ came on. Then Mike asked me what was wrong. I said nothing but then he wanted to dance with me (so I’d feel better) before I could say yes, the song was over. Then Kara was crying. Kara likes Mike & Mike danced with her so she wouldn’t cry. Mike was hanging around me for the rest of the dance. He was showing off for me! Does he like me? Well, at that moment, I realized I like Mike. He’s dumping Rachel. I want to go out with Mike! I really like him! Most people think he’s really immature & sometimes he can be. But I found at the dance the other side of Mike. The sweet, considerate side. He’s totally different when he’s not around Jessie. See, if I go out with him, a lot of people will think I’m stupid. Kara will be mad at me & Rachel might be mad at me. I really like him but will it hurt my rep? I know he’s not bad, but most people think he’s a jerk. I’d be much better off with Craig, Ray (if I liked him), or even Doug (if I liked him). I still like Craig a little though. My life is so deformed. It’s a puzzle, just the pieces are scattered. Most of them shaped like a broken heart, my broken heart. I need some reason, sense, I need to be led down the right path. God can you help me? I’m just really confused & I believe this is going to be a really depressful weekend. Something that also ruined the dance was Ryan asked me to dance. I refused. I must have made him feel like shit. I’m crying! I never meant for this to happen! I promise that I will dance with him at the next dance. I have to write him an apology letter. I’m going to. –Krista I HEART MIKE & CRAIG!”
WARNING: Be prepared for excessive swearing in the following entry...    Ah, more evidence of how young and naive I was. Not only did I not know how to spell the word 'horny', I also had no clue what it meant. Did you catch when I described Bryce's laugh as "hard, horney, and fake"? I definitely didn't know what the hell I was saying. I really wonder what I thought 'horny' meant at the time. I mean, I can't even use context clues from that sentence to try to figure out what I may have thought it meant. Ugh. I'm sure I was probably using that word wrong all over the place. Awkward. It's not exactly a word you'd want to randomly slip into casual conversation without knowing the definition. Oh crap. What if I unknowingly used it in school assignments? "Today in English class, we read 'The Call of the Wild'. Also, I was really horney." Well, I guess if that would have happened, my teacher would have confronted me or sent a note home or something.
Moving onto... Bryce. She caused a lot of anger in my group of friends for some reason. Remember my friend Lianna who never swore and got mad at anyone who did? Well, the first time Lianna ever swore was because of something Bryce did. I can't remember the exact offense, but it caused Lianna to be so overcome with emotion that she muttered the word "bitch" before she even realized what she was saying. To this day, I think Lianna is still convinced that if it wasn't for Bryce, she would have never sworn ever. Unfortunately, I really don't remember the specifics of the apparent drama Bryce caused in my clique... but as we've learned, it was middle school and everyone caused drama.
Which brings me to my next point: Allison. Why the heck was I so worked up over a stupid bus seat?!?! Was filling half a page with 30 "BITCH!"s really necessary? Sounds like I needed a chill pill.
So I hate to half-ass this entry, but I'm just gonna be honest-- "NYC Prep" is on right now and I'm trying to watch that, write this, and get to bed no later than 10:30. And unfortunately, I'm too stubborn to budge on any of those. Have you watched this show "NYC Prep"? It's more teenage drama than my diary entries. I love it and am totally addicted to it.
Oh yeah, back to this entry...   That's probably the longest play-by-play possible just to communicate that Craig and I slow-danced. But I guess the fact that 5,000 people had to ask him to dance with me was a valid detail because it showed his original hesitation. And I guess the fact that he didn't want to dance to "Head Over Feet" is a valid detail because it shows that he actually wanted to dance to a slow song... not just half-ass it and get it over with (like I'm doing to this entry). On the other hand, the "meeting under the basketball hoop" and "shortest girl" details were pretty irrelevant.
If you know me, you know I love cheese. I have always loved cheese. My nana tells stories about me as a little girl begging "cheese please!". In elementary school, my dad used to cut shapes out of cheese and arrange them into a picture on a plate for me as a bedtime snack. In high school, all of my friends brought various cheeses into school on my birthday. For my Senior Prom in high school, I ate an 8oz block of cheddar cheese every night for a week before the dance to try to gain weight to help fill out my strapless dress (it didn't work). Before leaving for college, my dad gave me a really nice wooden cheese board/slicer. In college, my friends saved me an entire cheese tray that was leftover from one of the campus events. Just last night for dinner, I made a grilled cheese sandwich... with four types of cheese.
And apparently in middle school, my crush Craig and I discussed cheese cutters while slow dancing. I am not surprised.
  If I had a nickel for every time I promised I would never like Doug again... Honestly, it's kind of ridiculous.
Anyhow, I feel so bad for my poor misguided preteen self. I basically said that I would have rather been stupid and attractive than smart and ugly. Aw. Sad. That's middle school for you. Middle school was the first time popularity became an issue. All I wanted was to be pretty, funny, popular, and to have boys like me. The last thing I wanted to be was a nerd.
Apparently in high school I said "F all that" and gave up on the whole popularity thing. However, I don't remember whether my participation in Drama Club, National Honor Society, and Key Club in high school was responsible for sabotaging my popularity pursuit or whether I gave up on popularity first and then joined those activities. I think it was probably the latter because I don't really remember anyone caring about popularity in high school. Probably mainly because I went to a big high school and everyone kind of did their own thing.
But the "new" issue of popularity in middle school caused those years to be especially interesting and full of drama. It sure as hell sucked at the time, but you gotta love looking back at it now for its entertainment value!
   I don't like anyone... Rob and I are just friends... but if Rob asked me out, I'd say yes. Hm. Something doesn't add up. I see right through you 11-year-old me.
That's cute how you say you don't think people should be boyfriend and girlfriend until 8th grade... right after admitting you're jealous of Rachel and Doug for dating. That's funny how you hide behind your false sense of maturity, thinking you're so much wiser than all the couples who are dating but aren't truly "in love". If it's so easy to get a boyfriend (all the guys just think "why not?"), why are YOU single 11YOMe (11-year-old me)?
Actually, it's kind of sweet how innocent and optimistic you are, new middle-schooler. How confidently you're able to convince yourself that you're the one who is normal and everyone else is wrong. So you may make contradicting statements, 11YOMe, but it works for you... for now.
I hate to ruin the surprise, but the next three years are going to be filled with more rejection, heartache, and drama than you've ever experienced in your 11 years. And you will leave middle school jaded in regard to love and friendships.
So keep reassuring yourself as long as possible 11YOMe, because at some point, you'll start to doubt.
---
P.S. Also note the *list* of people going out. Lists are like crack to me.
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This diary entry is a prime example of middle school drama. Something as simple as cafeteria seating arrangements could end friendships. Well, temporarily at least. Even though I said Jaime was taking Lianna's place as best friend, in reality, Lianna and I are still friends today and my friendship with Jaime fell out in high school. So now, Lianna and I have been best friends for 22 years... almost three times the *long* 8 year friendship I mentioned at the time in the entry. Wow that makes me feel old. But I also feel so lucky to still have best friends that I've had since elementary school. We went through all the drama together and our friendships are so much stronger for it!
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