At some point, Imagimaze (our small-town version of Discovery Zone) became Crazee-Mazee's and started allowing SLEEPOVER PARTIES. Sleepovers at Crazee-Mazee's quickly replaced roller skating at Evan's Skateland as the coolest birthday parties EVER... as evidenced by the lameness of Katie's skating party. Sleeping in a jungle gym... what a crazy idea. You run around the maze until you're totally exhausted and then just pass out whereever. Somehow it didn't bother us at the time that all night our faces were just inches away from the residue left by hundreds of germy sweaty-socked children. Yuck. Oh and those poor chaperoning parents who had to sleep on the floor somewhere! Not only were the floors gross too, but as an adult, you kind of assume your floor-sleeping days are over.
Gotta love my analysis of boy body language too. But I don't know. I've never really been a boy before...
I'm sure everyone remembers this song, but I wonder how many people can say they recorded it on cassette tape using their Sony boombox circa 1994.
When you're walking down the street and you feel something neat.. A quick search on YouTube made me realize how glad I am that I only had a boombox in 1994 and not a webcam. However, the Diarrhea Song is infinitely cuter sung by these boys with British accents... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUzpP7YJfkk&feature=channel_page
Finally, who knew there was an entire blog dedicated to the Diarrhea Song? Looks like it hasn't been updated since 2007, but it's still pretty amusing! http://diarrheasong.blogspot.com/
LOL I don't really understand this one from that blog... but in honor of 24 (since it's awesome and on TV tonight)...
When you’re escaping like Jack Bauer but your ass controls the power: Diarrhea, diarrhea.
Sorry I haven't posted in a couple days... I'm have a nasty cold and I'm trying to fight it with lots of sleep. Yuck.
But now, here's the monster five-page diary entry I promised... First of all, on the first page, the green and pink fingerprints are my own. On the first pink print from the right, you can see my scar from the tuna fish can incident. Pretty bad ass, right?
Welp, looks like Lindsay was right- Rob really did just want a girlfriend to make out with. He must have been pretty determined to fulfill that goal because he certainly picked an easy target... I remember Danielle having a reputation for moving pretty quickly with guys (probably meaning she had made out with a handful of boys... while my friends and I hadn't even held hands with a boy yet).
Aw crap, I like Doug AGAIN? Nooooo! You know, if a guys hands are sweating when he dances with you, that's a SURE sign he likes you. Seriously? Maybe his hands were sweating because he was so uncomfortable. Wouldn't anyone be uncomfortable slow dancing to Waterfalls (a not-so-slow song)? Ugh. What were we thinking?
Sorry no diary entry tonight. The next one up is FIVE pages long and I'm too tired to deal with that tonight.
But this gives me a good opportunity to share with you one of my current "hobbies". Actually, "hobby" isn't a very good name for it at all considering I only do this once every few months when I'm really bored and it takes absolutely no effort on my part. That'd be like someone saying their hobby was laying on the couch from time to time. Well except... at least this is entertaining.
Anyhow. Someecards.com. My mom originally introduced me to this site a year or so ago and I'm glad because their cards are hysterical. If you've never been there, you should really check it out.
The problem is, their e-cards don't require passwords or anything specific in order to pick them up. The personalized e-card you send is just a link beginning with "http://www.someecards.com/viewcard/" and followed with a random string of letters and numbers. But this works to my stalkerish entertainment advantage, because you can do a google search on "site:someecards.com/viewcard" and... well... read other people's cards.
I don't really feel bad about doing this because... 1. the e-cards are not protected in any way to begin with so it's not like I'm doing anything sneaky to find them... 2. it'd be very unlikely that I'd ever come across an e-card between people I know (due to the huge number of someecards sent every day)... 3. it's essentially anonymous anyhow because it's rare for someone to use their last name and email addresses are not listed.
So, without further ado, here are my two favorites that I found today (click to expand): I'll post the five page diary entry (it's about the Valentine's Dance!) tomorrow. I bet you can't wait. :)
What I wrote at the end there gets a little small... so if you can't read it, it says: "I think Rider is the best person on Earth. I heart Rider King Strong! We are going to Disney in 13 days! I didn't mention this yet, but my party was great!"
Uh oh, Kristin's mom walked around the mall with us. You know what that means... no Spencer's!
I looked up the episode of Boy Meets World that I would have been talking about... the one where Rider Strong was "looking so hot" and "acting so cool"... and I've gotta tell ya, I don't see the attraction. A matter of fact, Shawn and Cory are wearing cheerleader outfits in the beginning of it. I'm so confused. I will admit though, Rider did have some pretty awesome hair. Even my hair today doesn't look as good as his did then.
From now on, every Monday, I'm going to post a clip from my old "radio shows". Here is another clip from 4th grade... a bizarre song I made up entitled "My Cat":
Of course the boy would get "weird crap" from Spencer's. Spencer's has always been a classic pre-teen boy store. As a young girl, though, I would go in just to giggle at all the inappropriate merchandise and feel rebellious, like I was somewhere I wasn't supposed to be. But I would never find anything to waste my money on... and even if I did, I was probably too embarassed and nervous to check out.
So in middle school, the girls mainly hung out at Bath & Body Works, Claire's, and the pet store. My friends and I would spend hours just walking around the mall and talking. Most times we wouldn't even buy anything. But it was fun to feel independent and walk around the mall without parents. There wasn't much else for kids our age to do.
And without supervision, of course we'd sneak to the back of Spencer's for the thrill of it... to gawk at the wide assortment of everything penis or boob related. Not that we knew anything about either of those things at the time, but we went because we could. And for the first time in our lives, there was no one to stop us.
If you ask me, this was undeniable flirting. Whether Doug liked me or not and whether he would have admitted it or not, this was flirting. However, I can't guarantee the legitimacy of us "staring at each other dreamily"... I highly doubt Doug thought there was anything 'dreamy' about flicking water at me. But that's how I interpreted it at the time.
"Flirting" in middle school mostly involved boys and girls making fun of each other and physically abusing each other. I later brought this technique with me to high school and quickly realized that the game had changed. Boys were no longer interested in the girls that teased them, but liked the girls that complimented them and told them how big their muscles were.
But as long as I was in middle school (and boys did not yet have muscles to compliment), the aggressive flirting would continue!
Skating parties were the shit. Almost everyone I knew had one at one time in their life and most kids probably needed at least two hands to count how many skating parties they'd attended.
Good ol' Evan's Skateland... the place I always thought smelled like money but my mom insisted, "That smell is feet." Holy crap. They have a website... an Angelfire site with a sweet rotating "Welcome" GIF. This is cracking me up. http://www.angelfire.com/biz7/evansskateland.com/ Wow. Renting out the entire rink for an hour and a half is only $60?! Have they changed their prices since 1995?
Well, Evan's Skateland was always at least ten years behind in their decor and music... so it's not surprising that the trend continues on their web page.
The songs I remember being played most at Evan's Skateland in the early 90's are probably: The Locomotion, "Jump" by Van Halen, and the theme from Ghostbusters. Since the only place I ever heard these songs was at the skating rink, I always considered them to be "roller skating" music. It wasn't until I was older that I realized these songs weren't unique to skating rinks-- Evan's Skateland just had old music.
Don't get me wrong, I have many fond memories of Evan's Skateland... I spent much of my childhood there. I haven't been there in over 10 years but I actually hope it hasn't changed. I miss it. And hey, if you live in Erie and are looking for somewhere to have a party... I gotta imagine there aren't very many places you can rent out for only $60!
That trusty clock radio that my Nana & Papa bought me in 1995 has been waking me up ever since and is still next to my bed now, 14 years later. Its sexy wood-grain finish might not be so trendy now, but I'm not complaining as long as it's still working! (Cue alarm clock breaking during the night tonight and me being late for work tomorrow because of it.)
Gotta love the All 4 One tape too. Who doesn't love "I Swear"? Wow that song brings back so many memories of (crying girls at) middle school dances.
Finally, more classic 6th grade logic:
A loser called Doug. I didn't call Doug. Therefore, I am not a loser.
It should come as no surprise...When a guy asks you about another girl, don't you think it's pretty safe to assume he likes that girl-- not you? To me now, that seems completely logical... but I guess it was a new lesson I'd have to learn the hard way in sixth grade.
It's no surprise that I named a fish after Rider Strong. And Christina Ricci was my favorite actress at the time (because of Casper and Now and Then). I used to be fascinated with Ancient Egypt, so that explains the fish King Tut. I'm guessing Charlie is from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, but I'm not sure. However, I have no idea why I had a fish named Pillsbury Doughboy.
At first, I was completely puzzled by the fish named "Mockolate" too. But after some googling, I found it's from an episode of Friends that first aired on November 16, 1995 (the day before I named the fish!). On the show, Monica had to create recipes with a disgusting synthetic chocolate substitute called "Mockolate". I only vaguely remember the episode now but I must have thought it was hysterical at the time.
The wait is over! Finally, I am posting a clip from one of my old "radio shows"!
I recorded my first "radio show" in 4th grade... about 15 years ago (holy crap), which means this clip is two years older than the diary entries I've been posting recently.
So, this is me, at the age of 10 pretending to be a made-up DJ named Maxie on my favorite radio station Jet-FM 102. The real Jet-FM played Top 40 at the time, but I guess I thought listeners would rather hear about my pet cat. I apologize for the poor audio quality...
If you couldn't tell, that wasn't my cat meowing at all, that was me. I used to pride myself on how well I could imitate my cat. Not sure what was the lamer hobby-- practicing cat noises or recording radio shows about cats.
I'm happy to report that I did not grow up to be a crazy cat lady.
That's just the first clip of many... I plan to continue posting diary entries and mix it up every once and awhile with a radio show clip. Let me know what you think is more entertaining. In my opinion, the radio shows are far more embarrassing!
P.S. Big thanks to my amazing mother who is hosting these clips for me on her site! :)
I had my friend Shannon ask Rob if he would dance with me at the upcoming Halloween dance... Hmm... Aaron didn't know where to put his hands when dancing with me? Where exactly did he put them? Dancing wasn't very complicated in middle school... traditionally, it involved the girl's hands on the boy's shoulders, the boy's hands on the girl's waist, a distance of about a foot between the pair, and a side-to-side swaying motion combined with a slow 360 degree rotation. If a couple really liked each other, you could tell because their slow dance would appear more like an extended three-minute hug. And if the girl's head was on the boy's shoulder... well, that was about as intense as it got.
So, I'm confused as to how Aaron could screw that up. I really wish I would have given more detail about where exactly he did put his hands. Oh no. What if he tried to put his hands on my shoulders?? I think I remember there being couples with their hands on each other's shoulders... like two zombies who ran smack into each other and got stuck.
Well, I suppose it was the Halloween dance after all...
Oh my awesome. An entry with not one, but TWO lists. <3
Poor Greg. In 1993, I was in love with him... but then, just three years later, the thought of us dating disgusted me so much it elicited a "YUCK!".
And seriously, what were Lianna and I thinking when we decided to be Siamese twins for the Halloween dance? It was hard enough for me to get any positive attention from boys in 6th grade... walking around all night attached to my best friend certainly wasn't going to help that situation. Well, unless there was a cute boy there who had happened to have developed an early fetish for conjoined twins, but that was not the case.
I might as well have dressed up as "ugly" or "acne" or "obese"... or really any other physical disability. What boy would see me as a Siamese twin and think, "Man, Krista looks good tonight! I really want to dance with her!"??
And as if the eleven-year-old guys in my class weren't scared enough by one boy-crazy girl... let's strap two together for double the intimidation.
"Hey Rob... wanna dance? ...with me? ...AND this other girl who just happens to be sharing an extra-large sweatshirt with me?"
Did you notice I called Rob "cute" at first and then crossed it out and wrote "hot"? He was soooo not just cute caliber, he was *HOT*. Hot, hot, hot! Um, right. As hot as a boy can be at age eleven.
What can possibly be hot about a pre-teen boy? No muscles... no height... no five o'clock shadow... high voice... oh wait, I suppose Rob did have hair that "goes like this".
I don't like anyone... Rob and I are just friends... but if Rob asked me out, I'd say yes. Hm. Something doesn't add up. I see right through you 11-year-old me.
That's cute how you say you don't think people should be boyfriend and girlfriend until 8th grade... right after admitting you're jealous of Rachel and Doug for dating. That's funny how you hide behind your false sense of maturity, thinking you're so much wiser than all the couples who are dating but aren't truly "in love". If it's so easy to get a boyfriend (all the guys just think "why not?"), why are YOU single 11YOMe (11-year-old me)?
Actually, it's kind of sweet how innocent and optimistic you are, new middle-schooler. How confidently you're able to convince yourself that you're the one who is normal and everyone else is wrong. So you may make contradicting statements, 11YOMe, but it works for you... for now.
I hate to ruin the surprise, but the next three years are going to be filled with more rejection, heartache, and drama than you've ever experienced in your 11 years. And you will leave middle school jaded in regard to love and friendships.
So keep reassuring yourself as long as possible 11YOMe, because at some point, you'll start to doubt.
--- P.S. Also note the *list* of people going out. Lists are like crack to me.
Wait a sec... so... I suspected both Doug and Ed of liking me, Doug because he was too mean to me and Ed because he was too nice to me? How does this make sense? I guess if you were a boy and simply paid attention to me in 6th grade, I could find a reason to assume you had a crush on me. Wishful thinking. I love seeing this early example of my anal retentive list-making habits. It's not clear why those reasons needed to be represented in numbered lists rather than written out and separated by commas. I guess I never have been able to pass up any opportunity for list-making. Ahhh, I love lists.
Sorry I haven't been posting as regularly lately... I've been busy. And this weekend I have a particularly good excuse, one that will make it all worth it, trust me.
I spent almost the entire day yesterday recording cassette tapes into my computer. Some of that time was spent just figuring out how to do it... but most of it was babysitting the tapes while they recorded real-time, 45 minutes per side. Rewinding and fast-forwarding took much longer than I remember. Man, cassette tapes are a pain in the ass. So yes, I found my old "radio shows" and now have EIGHT hours worth of nonsense recorded on my computer. Next is the task of going through all that audio and and pick out the best clips to post here.
For now, here's my last diary entry from my first diary... but fear not, there's 18 more diaries where this came from!
Oh yes, the infamous temper tantrum over Clue. I believe this happened shortly after we were all in a good mood, laughing at my sister for making an accusation involving the "leed" (lead) pipe. And I think, that night, we were playing the game on my bedroom floor...
Not sure why, but I used to love hosting events in my room as a kid. Like the one time I insisted we have St. Patrick's Day dinner at a card table set up in my bedroom because my walls were painted green and it was festive. Never mind the fact that we're not Irish at all and we never had before and never would again celebrate St. Patty's Day as a family. I doubt we even ate anything remotely Irish that night. As a good hostess though, I did provide dinner music... in the form of the New Kids on the Block Christmas cassette. Maybe that's why there was never a second annual St. Patrick's Day dinner in my bedroom...
But I suppose that may also explain why losing a game onmy turf angered me so much that I chucked the Clue board across the room, sending cards and miniature weapons flying, and stormed out of my own bedroom. I was so outraged over the fact that my own mother would dare to beat me at my game in my bedroom. In my room, I expected to have the privilege to win all the games... just as I had the power to force four other people to listen to the completely irrelevant and awful dinner music I personally wanted to hear. So, sorry Mom... for both offenses.
In retrospect, I'm really surprised how upset I was about this. I'm especially shocked that I claimed to hate my dad just because he says everything is "slick". He still uses "slick" to this day and I actually like it... because, honestly, my dad is the only person I know who uses that word... and so it will always remind me of him. But when I think of it now, it's with fondness... not anger! I think I was just looking for an excuse to be mad. Apparently, life sucked.
At some point, Imagimaze (our small-town version of Discovery Zone) became Crazee-Mazee's and started allowing SLEEPOVER PARTIES. Sleepovers at Crazee-Mazee's quickly replaced roller skating at Evan's Skateland as the coolest birthday parties EVER... as evidenced by the lameness of Katie's skating party. Sleeping in a jungle gym... what a crazy idea. You run around the maze until you're totally exhausted and then just pass out whereever. Somehow it didn't bother us at the time that all night our faces were just inches away from the residue left by hundreds of germy sweaty-socked children. Yuck. Oh and those poor chaperoning parents who had to sleep on the floor somewhere! Not only were the floors gross too, but as an adult, you kind of assume your floor-sleeping days are over.
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